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Reflection 1

Posted 07-13-2010 at 08:14 PM by teacher24

I have been teaching since 2005, and in that time I have been so busy doing that I have not been taking the time to reflect on a few things. Sure, I have always been a reflective person, but I have been thinking so much about what I need to do to help students, but I have not really been reflecting on myself and what is going to help me get through the hardships of this profession so that I can better understand and help students. This year, so much has gone on in my classroom, and now my eyes are beginning to open. I need to look more into myself and what I need to grow on as a person, to help my teaching.

Number one, I need to be more flexible. I need to take bigger risks so that I can learn what I want and what I don't want. I can't knock the idea of teaching a different grade, because I have not actually done it. I can't live through other teacher's stories and make them my assumptions.

Second, I have to learn that I can't always have things my way, then get mad at the world when things are not going my way. I need to take the career in stride. Almost like my marriage. Take the good and the bad, instead of fighting so hard to keep it all good. I have to accept the fact that nothing is all good 100% of the time.

Third, I have to learn how to take the seemingly bad and work around it to still accomplish my goals. Flexibility is my personal goal for myself this year.

I have become so bitter towards our society. The way our parents are so ignorant to really observe and provide their children with the care they really need- the care beyond the basic needs of food, clothing and shelter. The way politics shapes our educational system. The way children are forced to learn in a way that is unjust to them in addition to the many problems they face at home. And the way the accountability has shifted away from parents and on to us, to work miracles under harsh teaching conditions. We put a fraction of our pay checks into our classrooms. We take home all the baggage, emotional and sometimes physical, of our students. All the paper work that comes home with us...I can go on forever... and in the end, no recognition, no positive words for us, as we are instructed to praise our students for their hard work. Not that I'm crying out for the recognition, but just because I am an adult does not mean I shouldn't hear an occaisional word or two of sincere gratitude or appreciation. Our profession shapes children and prepares them for every other profession in the world, and we are so under paid it is shameful.

As you can see, I have a lot of baggage. I need to let it go. It has managed to consume me this year and as a result, my year was not as productive as it could have been.

It takes a village to raise a child though...teachers need support, and it is the lack of that drives me beyond insanity...

I am sick of complaining about it...I would LOVE to do something about it...but I am just one.

I need to realize that I cannot change or fix it all, because it is beyond me. I cannot let it consume me...I would be fighting a fight that I can't win, and it's all because of money, politics, and uneducated parents.

So what can I do? Blog about it, I guess. Write in my journal. It did feel good to get it out.

This is to be continued...
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