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Fear & Loathing in Special Education

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Thoughts From the Recliner Part III

Posted 01-20-2011 at 12:47 PM by Speced9

There came a moment this morning when I found myself pensively pondering my situation. Snow was falling silently outside. I had turned the television off, so all I could hear was the rhythmic breathing of my pooch as she slumbered away the hours as she often does. [I](I must also add that she has the most expensive dog bed that money can buy. We like to call it [B]THE COUCH[/B].)[/I]

It was at that moment I realized I had adopted the lifestyle of a dog in three day's time.

[SIZE="3"][B]The similarities are staggering. For example:[/B][/SIZE]

[SIZE="3"][COLOR="Sienna"][B]My Dog:[/B][/COLOR][/SIZE] [B]Spends at least 20 out of 24 hours sleeping/lightly dozing on the family room furniture each day. [/B]

[COLOR="RoyalBlue"][SIZE="3"][B]Me: An uncanny coincidence, but I must admit that I am the only one who is pretending to be watching the television at the same time.

[COLOR="Sienna"][SIZE="3"][B]My Dog:[/B][/SIZE][/COLOR] [B]Keenly aware of any sounds (cars outside, the mailman putting letters in the box, the house settling) throughout the day or night.[/B]

[COLOR="RoyalBlue"][SIZE="3"][B]Me: I hear every sound too! I think I'm even cocking my head to one side and doing that inquisitive doggy look as well.[/B][/SIZE][/COLOR]

[COLOR="Sienna"][SIZE="3"][B]My Dog:[/B][/SIZE][/COLOR] [B]Nudges, paws and scratches the pillows and blankets before settling down. [/B]

[COLOR="RoyalBlue"][SIZE="3"][B]Me: Guilty as charged, plus, I have to make sure the electric blanket is set appropriately.[/B][/SIZE][/COLOR]

[COLOR="DarkRed"][SIZE="3"][B]My Dog:[/B][/SIZE][/COLOR] [B]Has food supplied to her by my wife.[/B]

[COLOR="RoyalBlue"][SIZE="3"][B]Me: I would be starving if it wasn't for that woman of mine.[/B][/SIZE][/COLOR]

[COLOR="Sienna"][SIZE="3"][B]My Dog:[/B][/SIZE][/COLOR] [B]Becomes overexcited when she hears the garage door opening. It's the long awaited signal that the family has returned![/B]

[COLOR="RoyalBlue"][SIZE="3"][B]Me: I'm practically giddy with excitement at the end of the day! [/B][/SIZE][/COLOR][I][B]They're home! They're home! Thank goodness they're home![/B][/I]

[COLOR="Sienna"][SIZE="3"][B]My Dog:[/B][/SIZE][/COLOR] [B]Has someone impatiently waiting on her to finish when she goes to the bathroom.[/B]

[COLOR="RoyalBlue"][SIZE="3"][B]Me: I wait impatiently on myself to finish going to the bathroom.[/B][/SIZE][/COLOR]

[COLOR="Sienna"][SIZE="3"][B]My Dog:[/B][/SIZE][/COLOR] [B]Licks herself where no man has licked himself before.[/B]

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  1. Old Comment
    Angie's Avatar
    I love your sense of humor!! You made me laugh so much, my husband is wondering what I am doing on this computer of mine....
    Posted 01-20-2011 at 09:42 PM by Angie Angie is offline

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