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Reflection 3

Posted 08-04-2010 at 06:09 AM by teacher24

I realize that I lack the confidence that will help me do my job to my fullest potential. I always get so nervous around everyone. Students, parents, colleagues and admin. I always feel like they are watching my every move and are waiting for me to mess up. Like they are literally breathing down my back. I HATE that kind of pressure, and as a result, I guess I end up being intimidated. I don't know why I feel this way, because I really have proven myself capable; I just hate the feeling of being watched I guess. That's why observations are killers for me, eventhough I typically do well. My first and previous years were the most difficult, so maybe I'm even afraid of failure. I never quite know how to deal with student anxiety either, probably because I'm always trying to battle my own. This year I am determined to redefine my role and be confident, because I know what I can do. Why do I always end up caring about what others are saying and thinking about me. I've always been really timid and reserved. I think that's why I love writing so much. But it's weird, because when I do speak up, I usually have some valid things to say, and others are usually in aggreeance with me. Even still, it is really hard for me to come out of my shell. This is the wrong profession for that kind of personality. I will NOT let it get the best of me; I am always willing to learn, reflect, and grow. I will be fine. I just have to really look inside myself. Thanks PT for listening.
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