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Last night of vacation...

Posted 08-05-2011 at 11:52 PM by nzkiwi

It's my last night of vacation. Okay, not technically (still have 8 days left before we teachers officially return), but symbolically it's my last night.

I've spent the past five days up here in Fairbanks, Alaska. I fly home tomorrow. With the pile of work that awaits me there (haven't touched a single thing school wise this summer...and well, the start of school is just around the corner!), I know my vacation is over after this.

I'm sad to leave for multiple reasons. One: I love Alaska. If anything, it's 11:15 p.m and only just now is darkness starting its approach. Not to mention, the cool temps (sooo much better than the upper 90s I left at home). And maybe, best of all, it has also been a good spot to clear my head.

With the massive to-do lists and clutter that awaits me at home, I'm beginning to realize I get overwhelmed there. I shut down. I don't want to do anything, and of course, that only compounds the problem.

I'm trying to make a couple resolutions to myself here:

1. Enjoy the school year. Try to stress less. Try not to let my perfectionistic tendencies trap me into feeling overwhelmed. Try to keep work to school hours. Try to keep weekends free for me. Realize that I need to feed my soul to keep my passion ignited for teaching (I'm beginning to realize my past work load, I think is a big contributor to why work has felt much more like work the past couple years).

2. Looking to the future: plan a move. I can not stay in the same townhouse I have rented for the past 10 years. I don't want to be stuck to one corner of the globe. I like adventure. I need to embrace adventure. I need to create a life that allows me travel more. I need to stop being such a packrat. I need to purge. I need to stop saving things just because they might be useful someday, or are worth good money, or have memories of past students/places/times/etc. connected to them. I am afraid of moving because of the amount of stuff I have. That is a problem that must be fixed.

3. Plan for an adventure. No matter how much I love the school where I'm currently at, no matter how great or how bad this current school year goes, I need to follow my dreams. I have always wanted to teach abroad someday. It is time not only to dream (because I've been dreaming for over 8 years), but to apply. I need to update my resume. I need to update my portfolio. I need to submit applications. No matter how hard it seems to leave the familiarity of home, the friends, the places I love -- I need to spread my wings. I am 33 years old: if I don't go soon, I am beginning to think I never will. I need to put a plan in motion to break away...try something new...embrace my love of travel again.

4. Embrace action/adventure/nature. I want to make time to hike more. Buy a bike. Kayak. Train to run. Maybe learn to ski or learn frisbee golf. I love the time I spend outdoors. I can't let school swallow me. I will find time to enjoy the outdoors, even when things do get busy.

5. I need to reconnect with friends. Way too many have been lost from too many years spent buried under schoolwork. I need to break out of my comfort zone. Call them up. Make plans to get together. Talk to them more frequently.

It seems like a massive resolution list when I look at it, but sitting here, staring out a window at twilight (it's nearing midnight) and remembering the feeling of peace I felt earlier while strolling outside, I'm going to try my best to make a promise to myself to attempt to follow through with each of them. I think I need to: not only for my own happiness, but also to help revive my true passion for teaching and everything that goes along with it.
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  1. Old Comment
    JOJO'S MOM's Avatar

    Wow!

    This is a very inspirational entry! Good luck with your resolutions! I hope you can follow through and accomplish one, or even all of them! I'm gonna make a resolution list too!
    Posted 08-07-2011 at 07:39 PM by JOJO'S MOM JOJO'S MOM is offline
 


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