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arsabl's Message:

I taught my son for three of his elementary years (first, second, eighth). It was a small parochial school with one teacher per grade level. I thought is was fine, and I treated him like any other student. He never complained. The difficult part was socializing with his friends and their families. I always felt like I couldnít completely let my teacher self disappear and become a normal mom.

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Discussion Review (newest messages first)
geoteacher8 06-22-2019 08:45 AM

if you make it one. I had my daughter as a student for one year because I have all students in my school. I think she probably referred to me as 'Mom' but I definitely know that everyone knew she was my daughter. I did my best to treat her the same as all of the other students.

prechrswife 06-22-2019 07:31 AM

I teach 6th grade in a private school, and last year, I had my middle daughter for half of the day because we were departmentalized. She was in my partner's homeroom, so she was with him for more of the day than with me. It worked okay. I tried to treat her like any other student during class, but occasionally, I had to play the "mom" card because she would respond to me "daughter to mom" instead of "student to teacher," and I would have to point out that she wouldn't answer another teacher that way. (We always had these conversations privately.) It was tough for both of us, but we survived, and her grades were good. (It happens I was teaching all of her least-favorite subjects.). That said, when I have had the option, I have always asked for my kids to be in the other teacher's section of the grade level.

angelajw 06-17-2019 08:27 PM

I teach 5th and 6th grade science at a small rural school. I taught my younger son when he passed through. For us it was an absolute dream. I was able to be a close part of his life for a couple of years and really got to know his friends. He is not a needy child but very loving. He is a people pleaser and every teacher loves having him in class. He is going on both grade and still shows up to give me hugs and raid my snack cabinet.

Now my older son while brilliant and a science genius we would have butt heads all day. He is a first born and strong willed. Correcting him would not have gone over well.

Both boys attended first grade across the hall when I was a first grade teacher. I didn't want them in my class because I wanted them to learn independence. But we did so much together anyway.

I love having the opportunity to teach at my kid's school and be a close part of their lives. The time slips by so quickly.

MaineSub 06-17-2019 03:14 AM

I'm ambivalent but lean towards the sense that it's a bad idea. I also recognize that there are situations (small schools/districts) where it can't be avoided. But I also see some red flags when a teacher "fights" to have her child in her class and one of my first considerations is that it's not being fair to the child. The child is supposed to be learning independence as well as academics.

Keeping the role of teacher and the role of parent separate is close to impossible.

I've had older students (middle school) tell me that they hate having their parents working in the same school (let alone classroom) because the parent often knows too much and gets involved in things the student would prefer to handle on his/her own.

I've seen staff treat students differently because their parents are colleagues working at the same school--in one case, Mom has made it very clear that she'd prefer no one "discipline" her son but her. Needless to say, her son is developing some issues and feeling increasingly privileged.

Imagine having a helicopter or lawnmower parent teaching in the next room.

Personally, I think the downsides are real and I'm not sure I see any upside or value to it, acknowledging that in some cases it can't be avoided.

puzzle1mom 06-15-2019 07:10 PM

I taught my son when he was in fifth grade. However, there were 3 fifth grade homerooms and he wasn't in mine - I only had him for math. It wasn't horrible, but it wasn't ideal, either. I totally understand that sometimes it's just inevitable if it's a small school with limited options. I think sometimes it can make things tough socially - in both directions.

There is a co-worker of mine who has moved around grade-levels and has already had her daughter twice - once in 4th grade and again in 6th. She asked to move up grades for next year (she'd eventually like to move to HS and wants the higher level experience), and that would mean she'd have her daughter a 3rd time and our principal said no. She was very upset, but I can understand my principal's position. This particular teacher is VERY chummy with the parents of her daughter's classmates, and I definitely think that can present a conflict, especially if the parent is with those kids for a long time.

Like I already said, I think if there's no other choice, it is what it is. But if it can be avoided, that seems to a better option IMO.

Lakeside 06-15-2019 12:47 PM

Why would a teacher want to put themselves or their child in that situation unless there is no other option?
Because there's only one other option, and it's worse?

In my son's first school, there were only two teachers per grade level, and in a couple of grades, they were very different - in personality, educational philosophy, and classroom management.

If I felt strongly that my child would drown in the other room, I'd take the "lesser of two evils" and deal with the challenges of having him in mine.
readerleader 06-15-2019 11:43 AM

If there is another option, then they should not be in a parent's class. Why would a teacher want to put themselves or their child in that situation unless there is no other option?

Countingdown 06-14-2019 08:51 PM

My mom was one of my high school teachers. It was great. I was just another kid in class except for the day I was 30 minutes late to class. I was a senior and had my mom first period. My younger brother was in junior high. Mom left for work and I was driving myself to school. My brother wouldnít get up and I fought with him to go to school. I finally got him to school but I was super late. When I showed up, my mom read me the riot act. I told her that if her son had gotten his butt out of bed on time I would have gotten to class on time. It was the only time I talked to a teacher like that. She went to the office and excused my tardy. My brother was in trouble though.
I was my sonís reading intervention teacher. We were half through the year until the other kids in the group knew he was my son.
I was supposed to be my daughterís fifth grade teacher next year but I got moved to first grade. I was looking forward to being her teacher. She was disappointed too.
I agree that it depends on the kid and the teacher. Iíve been on both sides and it is a unique situation.

Teddi9192 06-14-2019 04:26 PM

Well since I have every student in the grade level, I had my DS 2x. Once in third and then I was moved to 5th. It worked out fine.

The only request I had was that I didn’t administer his state tests. He frequently is in the top 5 students by score and I didn’t want any possible issues.

Haley23 06-14-2019 01:15 PM

I don't have kids, but I will say that I struggled when my mom was my Sunday school teacher, and that was one hour per week . My parents purposefully didn't send me to either of their schools, and I am grateful for the independence they gave me to this day. I can't imagine having my mom or dad as my own teacher!! I would avoid this at all costs.

Ima Teacher 06-14-2019 12:23 PM

It is very common here. We are a small district, so there are fewer options. In specials, there are usually single options, and in grade-level content areas for sixth and above, there are sometimes only two options.

SusanTeach 06-14-2019 11:11 AM

I agree that it really depends on the child and parent.

My oldest son was in my class when I taught 5th, but it was just one reading class that was non-graded. Everyone knew I was his mom, so he called me Mom. It was never an issue.

My only concern going into it was that he was high academically and I didn't want anyone to think I was the reason his grades were high. That's why I only considered him being in a non-graded class.

That being said, if I didn't care for the other teachers (that never happened), I would totally have taken all 3 of my kids.

Coopsgrammy 06-14-2019 07:47 AM

I taught both my kids in First Grade. My DS and I did well. He called me "Mrs. Mom."

DD and I struggled...She would push my buttons, and I would go into "mom mode" and want to deal with it. At one point, she announced: "Just so you know, you are NOT my favorite teacher!!" It was a good thing when she went on to Second grade with another teacher.

kahluablast 06-14-2019 06:40 AM

I would have survived one, but the other one there would have been some sort of damage to one of us....

I think if there are options, then the best thing would be to NOT have your own kid. But in my years as a parent there are a few teachers that I might not have wanted my kids to have enough that if I could work it, maybe me teaching them would have been the better option. Not many, but a couple. 2 in middle school and one in elementary.

MrsWok 06-14-2019 06:34 AM

I donít think itís a good idea. I love my daughter but I would feel much more comfortable with her being in her own classroom with her own teacher.

Linda/OH 06-14-2019 06:06 AM

I personally would not prefer it and didn't have to choose. But we have 2 teachers on staff who teach their own children. It totally works for them! I think you have to know your own set of circumstances. At our middle school, it's inevitable , if they live in the district since there is only one science, math and social studies, etc. teacher per grade level.

Kinderkr4zy 06-14-2019 05:44 AM

I know darn good and well that I wouldnt be good having my own child in my class.

I had an aide who, child was in our class-that was awful. It was exactly what I worried it would be as she basically hovered over her own child a lot of the day and then wouldnt really let me or the other aide deal with his his behavior.

There was also a class at the preschool that I worked at where a teacher had her own child and there were a ton of complaints about her paying too much attention to her own child and her child clinging to her during the day so that they other kids weren't getting enough attention.

I hear some people manage it well, I just have never seen it work out. I think if there are other options it shouldn't happen but if its 1 teacher per grade level and the P and the teacher think that the teacher can handle it then thats a different matter.

Teacherbee_4 06-14-2019 05:24 AM

I think it depends on the parent, the child, age, etc. I don't have kids, but I honestly don't think I could have my own kids. THat's just me, though. I think there are others who would do just fine/love it.

arsabl 06-14-2019 05:20 AM

I taught my son for three of his elementary years (first, second, eighth). It was a small parochial school with one teacher per grade level. I thought is was fine, and I treated him like any other student. He never complained. The difficult part was socializing with his friends and their families. I always felt like I couldnít completely let my teacher self disappear and become a normal mom.

Lakeside 06-14-2019 04:41 AM

I personally tried to avoid subbing in my own son's class (unless it was "specials" when he was younger - like art or something where his class only pops in for one period).

But it's really a very individual decision. I think it can be difficult, but I also think it can work. It depends a lot on the personalities involved.

SoCalTeach 06-14-2019 04:29 AM

I know this has been brought up before, but...
How do you feel about teachers having their own children as their students? My grade level friend fought to have her daughter in her class next year; a science teacher had his daughter in his class last year. So, that set a precedent.

Not sure how I feel about this. Your comments/experiences?

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