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mollymom's Message:

"I think" is a great addition.

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Discussion Review (newest messages first)
mollymom 09-07-2009 09:31 AM

"I think" is a great addition.

SMB 08-30-2009 12:10 PM

I have used the format that Mollymom suggested and have added the final line - I think...... The poem becomes 6 lines instead of 5.

kmob 08-30-2009 09:59 AM

Thanks so much, what great ways to format and revise/ well as examples for the students. I appreciate your help so much....I'll post after the lesson to share how it goes.

mollymom 08-28-2009 08:19 AM

How fun, what a great idea to compare a day at the beach in two very different locales.

I would start with a basic "I poem", students can choose the order and then elaborate. They don't "have to" use all the senses unless you require it. Sometimes the poem sounds better without the akward line about "taste" (for instance) that the student just make up because they might not have tasted anything at all.


I see gulls
I hear the waves
I smell the air
I feel the sand
I taste the mist


I see the gulls circling the surf
I hear the waves crashing on the rocks
I smell the ocean air
I feel the sand between my toes
I taste the damp mist

Continue to revise and reorder until it sounds great. The senses and descrpitions can be more interesting if the students take out some of the "I" sentences.

My beach air smells
salty and damp,
I taste it as I squish sand
between my toes.

I hear the waves crash
and seagulls squack.
They circle and search
for a snack.


kmob 08-13-2009 03:49 AM

I like the pen and ink and taffy ideas. I can definitely find some of that music. Thanks so much, I feel more confident about this activity now

It is an easy organizer to use, that web-link has a lot of great easy to print organizers, they are easy to use on a SB as well.

1956BD 08-12-2009 03:28 PM

of thinking about the ocean twice. The first time would be memories, maybe they could write those in ink. Then seashore walk impressions could be recorded in pencil. I also like the graphic organizer. I saved it to use when my students each write about an Oreo, so thanks! Hey, what about salt water taffy for the snack? You might send some to your pen pals as well. Just an idea. Also do you have some environmental music of ocean sounds that you can play while they write their poems? That should help inspire them. I would love to see some of the poems when they are done.

kmob 08-12-2009 03:09 PM

Great idea for a graphic you think we should do one at school where we use our memories and then make a real one...for comparison? Then I might format it somewhat like a sensory/imagery poem.

We'll be with our clipboards so that should be helpful to let them actually feel the sand while writing.

I found a graphic organizer on-line, is it too childish for 6th graders...I think it should be okay for notetaking purposes.
I'll tell them at least 5 per column for 4 columns and they can leave out one sense...unless I think of some sort of snack to treat them to while there.

1956BD 08-12-2009 01:18 PM

with four of the five senses that they could use for prewriting? It would include smells, sights, sounds, and textures or feelings. I am assuming there would be no tasting unless they can taste the salt from an ocean breeze. Then they could easily take notes on a clip board while walking and make sure they cover each category. Then I am not sure how to organize the poem.

kmob 08-12-2009 11:46 AM

Wondering the best way to format a sensory poem about the beach. My students and I will walk to the beach (2 blocks from school) where we have a few other projects to do, I wanted them to write a poem "A Day at the Beach in MA" (as we will have FL pen pals this year, to send with our letters). I was going to have them write down at least a few things for each sense during a 5 minute time while there. Any ideas on how to best use and format this? I really want to make these nice and get them how life is poetry all around them.

(oh, this is with 6th graders)

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