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newbie17's Message:

Hi first year teacher! Look at you, you've nearly made it to Spring Break! Did you think it would ever get here? I sure didn't. In fact, I'm not sure how we got here. I only have about 2 months left in my first year as a teacher. In some ways it seems to have flown by, in others it has dragged on for an eternity.

This first year ended up being full of surprises. I never expected to be teaching a special ed class for students with profound disabilities. I never expected to have kids with such severe emotional problems that they could shut me out completely for an hour at a time or have bursts of anger that required the help of four other adults just to contain one kid. I never expected to have to learn to communicate with several non-verbal kids. I never expected to cry every single day, several times a day, for the first 2 months of my job. I never expected to have my resignation ready after just one week. I never expected to be so stressed out that my hair started falling out and I couldn't sleep.

Do you know what else I never expected?

I never expected that the kid that could shut me out so easily would be the one clinging to me just before we went on stage for our Christmas music program. I never expected that the kid that required four adults to contain them would would one day hug and me and say "I love you teacher, I sorry for being bad. I gonna try more". I never expected to become conversational with the kid classified as nonverbal just a few months before. I never thought I would start off my day with a 9 year old curled up in my lap for at least 2-3 minutes because I became that kids safe place. I never expected a kid would grab my hand and kiss it while saying "I love you Mrs. Newbie17" in their own garbled language that apparently only I understand. I never expected the tears to stop.

But you know what, new teacher? All this happened. Somewhere along the way we went from a dozen or so strangers in the same room to a family. A family that loves each other unconditionally. A family that supports each other. A family that has grown together more in the past 7 months than anyone ever thought possible. I've not cried over my job or considered quitting in nearly two months now, an accomplishment I never thought possible in September. Yet there will be more tears. Those tears will be shed in early June when I have to say goodbye to these kids. These kids that somehow wormed their way into my heart and made me fall in love with them. My kids. My first kids. A class like no other.

This first year is one of the hardest you'll ever endure, but stick with it new teacher. They are watching. They are listening. You are impacting them, even when you feel like the biggest failure or fraud in your school. Remember, you're not! Just keep going, you're in that room for a reason. Those kids need you!! Much love, from another first year teacher just trying to survive.

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Discussion Review (newest messages first)
mauiwow 03-12-2017 07:16 PM

I am not a new teacher but I often feel like it.

newbie17 03-12-2017 11:06 AM

Hi first year teacher! Look at you, you've nearly made it to Spring Break! Did you think it would ever get here? I sure didn't. In fact, I'm not sure how we got here. I only have about 2 months left in my first year as a teacher. In some ways it seems to have flown by, in others it has dragged on for an eternity.

This first year ended up being full of surprises. I never expected to be teaching a special ed class for students with profound disabilities. I never expected to have kids with such severe emotional problems that they could shut me out completely for an hour at a time or have bursts of anger that required the help of four other adults just to contain one kid. I never expected to have to learn to communicate with several non-verbal kids. I never expected to cry every single day, several times a day, for the first 2 months of my job. I never expected to have my resignation ready after just one week. I never expected to be so stressed out that my hair started falling out and I couldn't sleep.

Do you know what else I never expected?

I never expected that the kid that could shut me out so easily would be the one clinging to me just before we went on stage for our Christmas music program. I never expected that the kid that required four adults to contain them would would one day hug and me and say "I love you teacher, I sorry for being bad. I gonna try more". I never expected to become conversational with the kid classified as nonverbal just a few months before. I never thought I would start off my day with a 9 year old curled up in my lap for at least 2-3 minutes because I became that kids safe place. I never expected a kid would grab my hand and kiss it while saying "I love you Mrs. Newbie17" in their own garbled language that apparently only I understand. I never expected the tears to stop.

But you know what, new teacher? All this happened. Somewhere along the way we went from a dozen or so strangers in the same room to a family. A family that loves each other unconditionally. A family that supports each other. A family that has grown together more in the past 7 months than anyone ever thought possible. I've not cried over my job or considered quitting in nearly two months now, an accomplishment I never thought possible in September. Yet there will be more tears. Those tears will be shed in early June when I have to say goodbye to these kids. These kids that somehow wormed their way into my heart and made me fall in love with them. My kids. My first kids. A class like no other.

This first year is one of the hardest you'll ever endure, but stick with it new teacher. They are watching. They are listening. You are impacting them, even when you feel like the biggest failure or fraud in your school. Remember, you're not! Just keep going, you're in that room for a reason. Those kids need you!! Much love, from another first year teacher just trying to survive.




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