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jov's Message:

It just happened again in London!

https://abcnews.go.com/International...ry?id=64780212

My heart goes out to those poor kids and their parents.

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Discussion Review (newest messages first)
GraceKrispy 08-08-2019 02:01 PM

Quote:
.
Before I had kids I thought, "Oh I'll never do this or that when I'm a mom." The real world of motherhood taught me it's not that easy and I'm wasn't that perfect.
Me too!!! It was quite a humbling lesson!

I do love that quote!
Renea 08-07-2019 05:28 PM

Quote:
Renea, are you copying me or reinforcing my post?
Can it be both? I copied the quote from you but it's tough to use the quote box when I'm on my phone. The quote seemed so right.

Before I had kids I thought, "Oh I'll never do this or that when I'm a mom." The real world of motherhood taught me it's not that easy and I'm wasn't that perfect.
GraceKrispy 08-07-2019 04:53 PM

Renea, are you copying me or reinforcing my post?

Seriously though, it's one of my all time favorite quotes.

Clarity 08-07-2019 04:33 PM

nuts - The Lord is GOOD?? Then why do such things happen? This thinking is so bizarre, I. can't. even.

jov 08-07-2019 04:16 PM

It just happened again in London!

https://abcnews.go.com/International...ry?id=64780212

My heart goes out to those poor kids and their parents.

Renea 08-07-2019 04:00 PM

This really says it all.

A perfect parent is a person with excellent child-rearing theories and no actual children.

Dave Barry

MAsped 08-07-2019 03:13 PM

Quote:
You canít blame the parents. You have no idea what they were doing at the time.
Would you blame this mother? Her child was taken from her arms. This just happened Aug. 6.
https://abcnews.go.com/International...ry?id=64780212
Right, that's tragic too. It's like the stories we hear from time to time about the crazy person who's in a crowd of people somewhere and pushes a random person into oncoming traffic or into an oncoming subway and they get killed. It's one of those tragic things that we just can't help sometimes.

We also have to look around and behind us regularly to make sure no one gets too close to us. I don't think many people turn around behind them on a regular basis, but they should to make sure no one's quickly approaching, etc. I know we can't help that we have to stand in line for things, but often, many people are like right on my heels and I hate it.

It's stories like this that remind us that our minds can never stop thinking, working, and being on alert. It's sad.
choppie70 08-07-2019 02:02 PM

I agree that yes, you are entitled to your opinion and can say what you want.

It is evident that you do not have kids. We have all said at one time or another, "when I am a parent it will be this way..." then you become a parent and realize it is just not that easy! There are times when you are literally just trying to keep your #### together!

This does bother me and I do take offense, having been in the situation I found myself in:

Quote:
"but I just turned around for a second..." Whatever we have to do at that moment can either wait OR we take the child with us by the hand, then walk back and continue OR whatever it is.
I guess I should have tied my daughter down, or maybe pinned her to the floor with my knee so she didn't move when I "turned around for a second".

It is so easy to say the parents should have done this, or done that... or I would do it this way...

It is not always so black and white, or as easy as you describe. I am sure the parents are beating themselves up over what happened.
Teach 5 08-07-2019 01:32 PM

You canít blame the parents. You have no idea what they were doing at the time.
Would you blame this mother? Her child was taken from her arms. This just happened Aug. 6.
https://abcnews.go.com/International...ry?id=64780212

GraceKrispy 08-07-2019 01:28 PM

I'm going to repeat a quote I posted once before:

Quote:
. A perfect parent is a person with excellent child-rearing theories and no actual children.

Dave Barry
Re: the situation at the mall, it's horrific that this happened. So scary and not at all fair.
ASAM 08-07-2019 12:59 PM

While parents are frequently disengaged, we can't assume they were not watching their child and be hopeful they were. I disagree, though that 5 year olds need their hand held in a mall. My children were obedient and not wanderers. Other than crossing the street and in New York city I tried to give them independence.

MAsped 08-07-2019 12:50 PM

Not intending to start anything here and definitely not just blaming the parents solely. No one get offended or all defensive. When I'm out and about, I see parents on their phones all the time when they shouldn't be, kids trailing feet behind the parents when they're walking and occasionally looking back or kids runnign too far ahead, etc., so it's a logical thing to wonder about. If I see it all the time, I know you guys see it too.

Cinderella00 08-07-2019 12:36 PM

I am laughing at my vision of a crowded mall full of parents holding all children under age 8 on a leash. That's going to be a hard mall to get around in.

Seriously, if we spend every second worried about what COULD happen, life will be very stressful.

bGracie 08-07-2019 12:36 PM

Quote:
I can think that if I want to.
But why would you want to think something there's no evidence for? It's just being judgmental for no reason.

People can not constantly be holding their child's hand. What about at home? Are parents supposed to hold their child's hand 24/7? Bad things can happen at home, too.

It's not the parents' fault. This was no one's fault except the guy who threw him over the balcony.

Quote:
Woah, if you don't think 5-yr-olds don't need their hands held in a usually crowded place, especially a huge place like the MoA, I don't know what to think.
I'm assuming you're not a parent.
MAsped 08-07-2019 12:28 PM

Quote:
When kids are 5 parents don't hover directly over their child and usually give them some space. What in the world would ever make parents think they had to hold their child's hand in the mall...
Woah, well they should in a crowded public place like that. If you don't think 5-yr-olds don't need their hands held in a usually crowded place, especially a huge place like the MoA, I don't know what to think. Let's let them run wild then and at the amusement park too while we're at it.

That's why I like the idea of those "leashes" that we see some parents have attached to their child. But let me guess, it's too "inhumane" because it's like we're treating our kids like animals. Plus, I know the bad guy out there could quickly cut the "leash", but hey, it's better than nothing...any little precaution to hopefully, help prevent things from happening. A potential kidnapper may see that and it will deter him and he'll move on to another child who's more easily accessible and who's family is not being observant.

It's like the thief won't go through the trouble of robbing a home with a camera, cactus lining outside of the windows, and a dog outside, etc. He' go to an easier house to rob. SO anything to help deter is very important as well. Maybe if this child had a leash attached, the perpetrator wouldn't want to be bothered with all that, so he moves onto something easier.
Renea 08-07-2019 12:21 PM

Nevermind... You're right, let's blame the parents.

MAsped 08-07-2019 12:14 PM

Tori58, yes, I totally agree. The world is a treacherous place and I know parents can watch like a hawk and things can still happen. But no harm in my saying "I wonder how well they were watching" and "hopefully not on their phone..." I can think that if I want to.

In these times, we ALL should decrease or eliminate saying, "but I just turned around for a second..." Whatever we have to do at that moment can either wait OR we take the child with us by the hand, then walk back and continue OR whatever it is.

My SO and talk about his siblings and their kids from time to time. We're astounded that nothing bad's happened to his nieces they way his siblings and their spouses are. Heck, my SO knows I'm astounded that nothing negatively life-changing happend to HIM in his childhood with his loser parents who aren't really parents. He agrees.

PEPteach 08-07-2019 11:39 AM

Tori, such wise words! Completely agree.

Choppie, yikes, so scary. I'm glad she is okay.

Tori58 08-07-2019 11:03 AM

Quote:
It is sad how it is immediately implied that the parents were at fault some how.
I think this happens because people don't want to face how dangerous the world really is. They want to believe that this could never happen to their children because they are so much more vigilant. It's a coping strategy because, if we ever truly faced how many things can happen to our children that we absolutely can't control or prevent, we'd never be able to get through a day.
choppie70 08-07-2019 10:51 AM

From what I read, the man grabbed the boy. The man was intent to kill someone he said.

It is really crazy, quick how something awful can happen, and it is not always due to parent neglect or even inattentiveness. It is sad how it is immediately implied that the parents were at fault some how.

When my DD was 18 months old, she fell out of a second story window. Horrible, and still makes me want to vomit thinking about it, and she is 12 now.

I was not looking at my phone, nor being inattentive. I set her down and turned to grab her PJ's after a tubby. That is how QUICK she climbed onto a suitcase and fell through an open window at my Inlaws. I had not even fully opened her bag when I heard the screen give.

cheerio 08-07-2019 10:46 AM

Iím honestly not sure why you are still trying to blame the parents ďI wonder how well they were watching him ...Ē
This was an extremely random yet horrific event that happened in a blink of an eye. There is nothing to indicate that the parents werenít paying attention.

Tori58 08-07-2019 10:46 AM

Yeah, if you've ever been to the Mall of America (or "the Sprawl" as Twin Cities residents often unlovingly call it) you know that you could be looking right at a child but if you're standing near the railing someone could easily grab a child and throw him before you could even process what you're looking at. And yes, people do love to stand near the edge of the balcony to watch the theme park.

I remember hearing about this story at the time and being horrified. It really is a miracle that this little boy survived. And, once again, there were plenty of warnings that the perpetrator was mentally unstable. He'd been banned from the MoA previously. Minnesota, and Hennepin county in particular (if that's where he lived) have some of the best mental health programs in the country so I don't understand why he wouldn't have been being treated.

In these parts, the Mall of America is often a stop on high school field trips to the Twin Cities. I always hate it because, despite tons of security, I've always felt that it was deceptively dangerous.

MAsped 08-07-2019 10:29 AM

True, I changed my wording to HOPEFULLY NOT looking at their phone.

cheerio 08-07-2019 10:16 AM

I think thatís very unfair to say the parents were looking at their phones. I didnít click your link but i read about this story a few weeks (months?) ago. The accused grabbed the child so quickly. You canít judge a situation like this unless you were there.

PEPteach 08-07-2019 09:42 AM

Very sad story. I remember hearing about it months ago, glad he is okay.

Quote:
I've got to wonder how well the parents were watching...probably looking down on their phones like everyone seems to be doing these days.
I don't think we can jump to conclusions or place blame on the parents. The guy was clearly determined to hurt someone. There's only so much one can do. Obviously we all need to be vigilant, but the fact is, we can never protect ourselves or anyone else 100% and to blame others when tragedy like this strikes isn't fair or healthy.
MAsped 08-07-2019 09:37 AM

https://www1.cbn.com/cbnnews/us/2019...ony-leaves-icu

Did anyone hear about this?! It's a miracle that he lived, but he'll never be the same now.

The attempted murderer said he "went to the mall intending to kill an adult because they usually stand near the balcony". People are crazy and parents can't take their eyes off or stop holding their kid's hand for a second. All of us adults have to always be on alert for ourselves too.

I've got to wonder how well the parents were watching...hopefully not looking down on their phones like everyone seems to be doing these days.




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