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Zia's Message:

Quote:
What I'm wondering after reading these posts is this: has anyone asked the person, in so many words, "why don't you like me?".
I wouldn't...mostly because is the answer likely to make you feel better? I just say "Screw it" and move on.

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Discussion Review (newest messages first)
Haley23 11-10-2019 12:36 PM

Depends on the situation for me. At work? Doesn't really bother me unless that person has the ability to make life harder for me. We have a large staff so of course there are personalities that don't mesh. There is one classroom teacher that I don't really get along with, but I couldn't care less. And she treats most people the same way. OTOH, there is an intervention teacher who is very "popular" in the building and for whatever reason she does not like me. Socially, I don't care, but unfortunately she has more power to disrupt my work life. Often decisions are made that I should have input on, but she won't ask or even tell me. Things that have a pretty big impact on my program.

Zia 11-10-2019 11:09 AM

And, I just realized, for me anyway...someone who doesn't like me? It is usually mutual! So no loss really.

CatLove 11-10-2019 11:06 AM

Thanks Zia!

Zia 11-10-2019 10:55 AM

Last one...I think!

Zia 11-10-2019 10:55 AM

This one just makes me laugh

Zia 11-10-2019 10:54 AM

Life is just too short to worry about what other people might be thinking. And, frankly, most of the time, they are too busy thinking about themselves to think about you.

Zia 11-10-2019 10:53 AM

And I found a whole buncha other memes that might help some of you bothered by others' perceived opinions.

Zia 11-10-2019 10:48 AM

Quote:
What I'm wondering after reading these posts is this: has anyone asked the person, in so many words, "why don't you like me?".
I wouldn't...mostly because is the answer likely to make you feel better? I just say "Screw it" and move on.
Hideeho 11-10-2019 10:37 AM

Yes, it bothers me.

What I'm wondering after reading these posts is this: has anyone asked the person, in so many words, "why don't you like me?".

Ruby tunes 11-07-2019 05:04 PM

There's a great saying in Spanish which, loosely translated, says, "You are not a gold coin to be loved by everybody." I remind myself of this whenever the need arises, and that helps me to just let it go.

Ima Teacher 11-07-2019 04:31 PM

I don’t care if people like me or not.

I mean, I kind of want them to because I think I’m pretty awesome, but if they don’t then that is their issue. I’m a little passive aggressive, so I always make it a point to be extra friendly to some of the people who dislike me.

Sometimes I know why people don’t like me, and other times I’ve got no idea.

Earlier this week one of my students said she didn’t like me. I don’t know what reaction she wanted, but she seemed disappointed with what she got. Any time kids tell me that, I tell them that they don’t have to like me. I let them know that they won’t like everyone they meet, and that is okay. However, they don’t get to be rude about it. I also tell them that it doesn’t hurt my feelings if they don’t like me.

jazzer 11-07-2019 12:42 PM

I donít worry much about people not liking me. However, I get upset about anyone who does not respect the experience I have in different areas.

For example, the person who has never acted telling me what to do when I have 25 years of experience.

LazyLake 11-07-2019 10:17 AM

Nope, it doesn't bother me.
That's just life.

Some people will like us, and some people won't like us. Liking or disliking us could be because of something we've done or said, or some way we've acted, etc. It goes both ways as to whether someone is liked or disliked.

A lot of times, it's how one perceives him/her self, and how they react when they encounter people as to if they perceive that they are liked or disliked.

IMO, it's best to have a positive self concept and self image, so that if we perceive that someone doesn't like us, it won't upset us. I would imagine the person on the other end isn't even worried/thinking about liking or disliking someone else!

Vet3Teacher 11-07-2019 07:35 AM

Sometimes it bugs me, but I can't let it ruin me.

I work with a couple ladies that I think I just don't click with. One I used to enjoy being around and now her voice bugs me. She's not nice to her students so it's hard for me to "like" her. Another one is just ornery all the time. I don't know what her deal is.



Years ago I was getting along with a teacher here while I was subbing. I think she found out that I have great classroom management and the principal said that "this is the best management that I've seen in this room in a long time." Since then she has shunned me.

I still have to work with her at a district level because she runs our universal screening.



We only have to work with them...not be friends with them.

Persephone 11-07-2019 06:35 AM

Yes!
It bothers me A LOT.
In the past, I've done Major butt-kissing to get back into the person's good graces.
Never really works. Major lesson learned.
Nowadays, it still really bothers me.
BUT
I focus on being respectful, kind, and helpful.
And I just work hard and spend time with the people who DO like me.

Hey! People who do NOT like me!
You are really missing out on All This!

Izzy23 11-06-2019 08:02 PM

I have someone like this at work right now, too. She clearly doesn't like me. Normally I would just shrug it off, but I have to see and work with her every day and that's hard. Especially since she is literally friends with everyone in the building except for me. It's weird seeing her laugh and smile with someone, then turn to me and be so cold.

If I left the job tomorrow, I wouldn't care if I never saw her again. So I just remind myself of that whenever it starts to bother me!

happygal 11-06-2019 07:27 PM

I have a long list

One of my sisters
And about 7 people who have for one reason or another shunned me.

One was a so called Christian seems she cannot do anything but judge others.

I must say i do try to stay on good terms with all people.

I am ambitious, accomplished, talented, bold, successful, happy, attractive, & fit... some people just dislike what makes them jealous. Try not to let it get to you. I like you!

PPCDTeacher 11-06-2019 06:54 PM

doesnt bother me at all. i dont care what people think of me. if they dont like me, thats their problem. i had two people at my old school that didnt like me, o my team, and they gossiped about me and went out of their way to make sure i knew i was excluded from all their fun. i couldnt have cared less. i think they were trying to hurt my feelings... it did not work.

amiga13 11-06-2019 06:43 PM

Yes! In my whole long life there have been people I didnít gel with, but we were always polite. Now thereís someone who hates me and I have no idea why. She takes a verbal shot at me as often as she can and she makes every moment an opportunity to rain on my parade. I honestly donít understand.

Iím trying very hard to be a grown up and believe it doesnít matter. But it hurts.

Iím sorry you are struggling with this, too.

anna 11-06-2019 06:40 PM

No it doesn't bother me . I can't control people's feelings and the only thing I can control is myself. That being said it really is a balance thing with being socially adept and being truly yourself. Control issues can be a problem with teachers.

Savvy 11-06-2019 06:37 PM

It doesn't bother me if people don't like me at work as long as they remain professional. There are people that I dont particularly enjoy at work. I just keep our interactions work related.

CatLove 11-06-2019 06:27 PM

The exact same. They aren’t exactly my faves either! Kind of along the lines of “I want to be invited but I don’t want to go”. I tend to like people very easily and always give them the benefit of anything so maybe that’s why it bothers me so much.

PEPteach 11-06-2019 06:22 PM

Yes! Going through this now, as well. It's for a group I'm in charge of. There are two women. They aren't even people I want to be friends with, but for whatever reason it bugs me that they don't seem to like me/want to be friends with me. I know why they are difficult to get along with, but I don't see the problem with me! Learning to be okay with it.

You aren't alone.

CatLove 11-06-2019 06:19 PM

Ugh. Does it bother you if somebody doesnít like you? I feel like thereís two people at my school that donít like me. One because of the way I was treated in the presence of another student and another one because she unfriended me on Facebook . Of course my feelings get hurt and then my first instinct is to try to want to get them to like me . Wow, I thought my self-esteem was better than that!

The first person isnít really friendly to me at all but the second person is, so I donít know I got unfriended (and now Iím staying off FB as much as possible because itís not worth it).

Iím not sure what Iím asking, maybe just needed to get it out.




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