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Loveandmercy's Message:

HI all,
I entered one incorrect grade for third grade boy. He has emotional difficulties prior to this. Prior to this we had a great teacher-student relationship. Now he looks at me with such hatred during class. He blurts out if I say something wrong or make the tiniest mistake. I feel like I am being bullied by an 8 year old. He has a history in the school of flipping desks and having major anger outburst so he has improved somewhat. I am meeting with mom next week (and school counselor, learning coordinator and the child.) Do you have any ideas until then? The hateful looks and mean blurt outs are hard to take. MOst times I tell myself he is a sweet child who has emotional difficulties so this totally may be beyond his control. But at times it catches me off guard and it messes with me. Makes it difficult for me to stay focused. I am new at this school and learning lots of new procedures. I get rattled sometimes.
Thanks everyone.

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Discussion Review (newest messages first)
Emily26 02-03-2019 08:53 PM

Like a real, heartfelt, sit-down, one-on-one apology? If you've done that and he's still losing it, then he's just transferring his big, out-of-control emotions onto this one incident. It probably gives him a sense of understanding and control--"I'm mad because teacher messed up my grade" is a lot more rational then, "I'm mad and I don't know why". Nip this in the bud. He needs to get it together or get out. At this point, any rude looks, outbursts, threats, or physical aggression need to be documented. As you would with any other child behaving in a disruptive or defiant manner, follow your school discipline policy. Document, call the office, call home, take away privileges, etc.

ElizabethJoy 12-20-2018 03:29 AM

Quote:
He blurts out if I say something wrong or make the tiniest mistake
This sounds like a complex little kid and a difficult situation but the above quote stood out to me. I make a huge deal in class about how mistakes are an ESSENTIAL part of learning. When I realise I have made a mistake, I point it out to the kids myself. I talk about how glad I am to have realised my mistake and ask their ideas about how I can correct it. We talk about their mistakes too, and very rarely is anyone embarrassed about getting something wrong because we have normalised the whole process.

Just a thought, but maybe it will take the wind out of his sails a bit if you own your mistakes. If a kid points out Ive done something wrong- mispelled a word or forgetten to do something or whatever it was, I genuinely thank them and say, good on you, you're paying attention! I am not flustered because I'm glad I can model dealing with mistakes for my students.

As for the hateful looks and mean comments....I'm sorry you're dealing with that. I think as teachers we'd like to think the kids can't 'get to us' but at the end of the day, we're human.

I think I'd try just ignoring the looks. Most of the time, bullies are going for the reaction so....try not to give him one?

Good luck.
mom23kids 12-08-2018 07:40 PM

Can you have a conversation with him and talk to him about your mistake and also the way he is acting.

Lakeside 12-07-2018 04:01 AM

If the grade has been corrected, he has no reason to still be mad at you. His parents (and/or the school counselor) need to have a conversation with him about mistakes and how they can be fixed, with particular emphasis on mistakes he has made and been forgiven for.

Loveandmercy 12-07-2018 03:00 AM

HI all,
I entered one incorrect grade for third grade boy. He has emotional difficulties prior to this. Prior to this we had a great teacher-student relationship. Now he looks at me with such hatred during class. He blurts out if I say something wrong or make the tiniest mistake. I feel like I am being bullied by an 8 year old. He has a history in the school of flipping desks and having major anger outburst so he has improved somewhat. I am meeting with mom next week (and school counselor, learning coordinator and the child.) Do you have any ideas until then? The hateful looks and mean blurt outs are hard to take. MOst times I tell myself he is a sweet child who has emotional difficulties so this totally may be beyond his control. But at times it catches me off guard and it messes with me. Makes it difficult for me to stay focused. I am new at this school and learning lots of new procedures. I get rattled sometimes.
Thanks everyone.




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