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Hifiman's Message:

his best to make you feel valued and indispensable. Let him know that at least one person in this world understands.

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Discussion Review (newest messages first)
CricketSong 01-14-2021 03:15 PM

Itís difficult, but donít clean it up for him. He will eventually figure out there is glass everywhere and he will learn.

Itís a joke, but itís become a reality for many women that they have to do the lionís share because they are more ďable.Ē But we are more able because we have no one else to do it for us , and we had to learn. I canít decorate either, but I do know how to pick up glass . It takes no real talent to clean up after yourself.

Unfortunately, a messy house is always considered an inadequacy in women and a hilarious quirk in men. Glass everywhere will be blamed on you by anyone who walks through your house. But I no longer do it for my husband .Because no one ever did it for me once I was a preteen on up.

Even when I was working and my husband had retired , I was the cleaner and I found it massively unfair. Until one day I just stopped. I only took the lions share due to not being considered worthy of having my own time to relax, my own time to think, and my own time to fail. Itís truly a luxury , isnít it, when just ďtryingĒ is considered to be a glowing compliment to ones character and everyone excuses you for basically just doing the bare minimum. And that happens when you stop taking the lionís share and demand equal share. Iím sure you are nice, too. So just be super nice but donít do much. So I too just started ďtryingĒ and not caring anymore. I wonít be the slack lackey, I am a real person with interests and desires and I donít have time to make sure other adults know how to do basic things anymore.

wildflowerz 01-14-2021 02:09 PM

Iím glad people are able to commiserate.

Whatever I said must have worked. When I got home from the RV he had started cleaning the oven, he cleaned out the garage, and offered to ply scrabble tonight.

Thanks for the words of wisdom Hifi. I think he is trying to make himself indispensable now.

ICrazyTeach 01-14-2021 01:18 PM

Each tote is labeled with what goes in it.
Then the totes go in the attic in reverse numerical order
mhugs, these are the most beautiful words I have read in a very long time My true self longs for that level of organization. But I live with people who can't even sort kitchen utensils correctly. Instead I live in complete chaos
mhugs 01-14-2021 12:45 PM

DH is putting away the Christmas decorations> A very simple matter. Each tote is labeled with what goes in it. You take one tote. Pick up the items and out them in. No he collected every thing humped them in the living room and is making a big deal of winding up each cord and tying it off-no just put it in the box with the item it goes to. Then the totes go in the attic in reverse numerical order #1 is the last to go up because it is the 1st things we need to decorate. I'm laying sitting here-chest hurting-coughing up gunk-and thinking COVID could be worse.

Hifiman 01-14-2021 12:00 PM

Earlier in his marriage his comment to someone was that he has no taste. That's why he married his wife. Of course he meant that she was the one who had taste.

hand 01-14-2021 11:57 AM

I think Iíll agree with Hifi on this one. Or at least thatís what my DH would do. Whenever I comment about DHís lack of understanding at how to do something, he tells me very sweetly ďthatís what I have you for.Ē

Hifiman 01-14-2021 11:47 AM

his best to make you feel valued and indispensable. Let him know that at least one person in this world understands.

twin2 01-14-2021 11:34 AM

The first thing I can think of is my husband's idea of cleaning up a mess is to dry it up with a dry towel. If you dry the mess, it's gone, right?

wildflowerz 01-14-2021 11:15 AM

So dh broke a bowl, not a big deal, but he left shards and chunks of it on the kitchen counter. He said he vacuumed the floor and didnít see it on the counter. I lost it when he said, ďI did the best I couldĒ

I actually said, ďMaybe your best isnít acceptable.Ē

I found it when we were on the way out the door to clean up a mess in the RV. He didnít realize that pillow cases arenít absorbent like towels. So what he thought he dried up just got smeared around.

He really is a nice man but it is like he looks at things through a tube and canít see the whole picture.

I could go on. Like the time he bought 20 bags of moldy mulch...

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