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dee's Message:

I wanted to be clear-

I was very strong in my previous post about getting out of that day care NOT because of the biting happening. That happens at that age.

The fact that the adults are BLAMING the victim is incredulous.

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Discussion Review (newest messages first)
dee 05-19-2019 03:30 AM

I wanted to be clear-

I was very strong in my previous post about getting out of that day care NOT because of the biting happening. That happens at that age.

The fact that the adults are BLAMING the victim is incredulous.

BioAdoptMom3 05-18-2019 06:06 PM

You are right to be concerned. There are so many red flags here.

First, biting at this age is common! Most little ones this age, even the few who might put two words together, would not be able to appropriately express themselves to prevent this from happening. All they can do is keep a close eye on the kids and try to prevent this themselves. Its going to happen, but it shouldn't be constant and has nothing to do with your DGS's development!

Second, at this age, only a pediatrician should be telling them if their son is behind in his development. Unless he was 20 months old and not walking or had NO words in his vocabulary, they do not need to be telling parents their children are behind. It does not sound like a program that is developmentally appropriate for young children!

And the turn over rate, we all know that is not healthy for young children.

I know excellent centers are hard to find, but I think I would be looking for something else.


twin2 05-17-2019 07:14 PM

Maybe it's time for a new center, or a report to corporate if it is a franchise

seenthelight 05-17-2019 03:07 PM

That makes absolutely no sense. If this was being caused by an inability to express himself, heíd be the perpetrator not the victim. A child that does not yet have the words to express themselves often expressed frustration through hitting, biting, tantrums, etc. They donít typically express frustration through being continuously injured by other children. Tell the parents whoever told them that is an absolute quack.

dee 05-17-2019 12:51 PM

This reminds me of:

"It's your fault I hit you-you made me mad."

"It's her fault she was raped, look what she wore."

"It's his fault OTHER kids are biting him?????"

This is beyond horrific. Get him the hell out and report this place to the state licensing board.

Irish 05-17-2019 12:51 PM

I was a daycare director for 6 years before teaching first grade. If there is a high staff turn over rate thatís a red flag. If staff arenít treated well then kids suffer. It is NOT your GS fault he is being bitten. If thereís a biter in the room that kid needs to be watch more closely. A good caregiver should be able to redirect this kid before things escalate. That kids parents need to know what heís doing, too. Your DD needs to find an alternative place for him.

MathWA 05-17-2019 11:29 AM

Wow - this is a very bad situation. Your GS is a victim and should not be blamed for being bitten multiple times. For heaven sakes, he is only 2!!

The safety of all children there should be paramount. The biter should be dealt with and not the victims. Dont fall into this illogical trap by getting counseling blah, blah, blah. Shame on them for recommending this!

I would change day cares immediately. Leaving him there to receive more bites seems misguided and cruel. This day care is awful so go elsewhere.

crazy4catz 05-17-2019 11:18 AM

Many years ago when my boys went to daycare they were required to send incident reports. My son was being bit by a boy. He was biting others as well. He eventually got kicked out of the daycare. That is the way it should be. Why should your gs have to leave? They need to address the problem. I am concerned that they are trying to do too much over too big of an age span. How many are in his class and how many workers? There should be at least 2 adults in every room. There was just a case on the news that showed a boys back with multiple wounds on it. It was horrible! Please have them act now.

slg 05-17-2019 09:05 AM

My DGD has bitten and has been bit at the once-a-week daycare she attends. She came home with a report after both types of scenarios. Thankfully she never experienced four times in one day either as the biter or the bitten! And she seems to have learned that it is wrong. Unfortunately, it is something kids sometimes resort to. But there is no way the biting is your DGS's fault!

My DGD is 26 months and is speaking in 2-word phrases only recently. At 20 months kids should have about 25-40 words - that includes sign language and their uniquely spoken version of a word. They should be able to follow simple directions. I don't like the sound of the guilt the staff is laying on the parents when their child is being injured. A yelp of pain is expression enough at that age.

Staff turnover is often high at daycares - the pay is not great for the aides, so job-hopping is common.

bGracie 05-17-2019 08:54 AM

Sorry, but why are his parents not pulling him out of there?

LastMinute123 05-17-2019 08:42 AM

Uh, even 20 month old kids who are on the high end of the expressive language spectrum aren't independently resolving conflict with their two word phrases....

Joey: Toy mine.
Susie: Is MINE!
Susie: Make compromise?
Joey: Mine next.
Susie: Good plan.
Joey: Thanks, Friend.

teachnkids 05-17-2019 08:42 AM

I call absolute BS!

His being bitten is not his fault!!!!!!!!

My child would be moved to a different daycare!!!!!

I'm so sorry you ate dealing with this!

TAOEP 05-17-2019 08:21 AM

Although it's extremely difficult to totally prevent toddlers from biting, the staff has the responsibility for CLOSELY monitoring known biters and working to prevent this behavior. It is not the responsibility of a 20 month-old to tell the aggressor to stop it.

I would seriously question the credentials of child care administrators who are "blaming" a 20 month-old for not using 2 word phrases. By 18 months of age, most toddlers know and use many single words. 18-24 month old toddlers begin to use 2 word phrases. At 20 months, the ability to use 2 word phrases is just beginning--some can do it; others are not there yet. The child care staff does not appear to understand child development. They are likely too focused on STEM and enrichment. Whatever happened to feed yourself, learn to run and jump, listen to a short story?

That said, if there is any realistic concern about a possible speech delay, or even for the parents' peace of mind, it wouldn't hurt to have a screening done. Perhaps contact Early Interventions or Child Find or the local school district.

And I would definitely recommend looking for a more appropriate and better run child care center.

annie_g 05-17-2019 08:18 AM

I would take him out of there now! There is no excuse for him being bitten that many times and then blaming him for it. Seems to be a definite lack of supervision going on.

mhugs 05-17-2019 07:48 AM

What is their staff to child ratio? Are they maintaining that ALL day? What is the state law for staffing numbers?

How many are in his room? and what is the age span?

If the biting is continuing I'd be inclined to ask for a report of the following:

A detailed report of each incident? When was he bit-time of day, where on his body? what was the activity at the time of incident? did a staff member observe the biting incident? which staff? should be signed by lead staff at that time

My grandson was tall for his age so his day care expected more out of him. Poor little guy.

Has the skin been broken? Are the teeth marks the same pattern indicating it is the same kid?

Hello...lots of kids don't talk until age 2.

What does the their doctor say about his development?

Not sure babies and pre-school need STEM they need nurturing, and a chance to play in a secure loving environment. (((hugs))) from another grandma

Your post brought back precious memories of 'springing' my grandson from day care and keeping him until bedtime. Miss hiss fuzzy little head-he is 16 now.

Keltikmom 05-17-2019 07:27 AM

Tell them to run like the wind away from this place. Your post sent up a lot of red flags about this program.

4 times in one day means no one is paying attention. Once a child is bitten, the teachers should be watching with an eagle eye that it doesnít happen again.

High turnover, high enrollment and I bet they are out of ratio as well.

He has been on this planet for 20 months!!! He is not delayed...heís not quite two.

Vet3Teacher 05-17-2019 07:25 AM

No way in all things that are holy is his speech "issues" his fault for being bitten. If I was that parent, I'd be withdrawing him from that daycare. They obviously don't know early childhood development.

My daughter was the biter...the victims were her siblings. Her sister spoke just fine at that age. My son wasn't as much a culprit because he was younger.

It's frustration with that child...

That is just scary that they are telling the parents that it wouldn't happen if he spoke better. RED FLAGS!!

anna 05-17-2019 07:24 AM

Sounds to me like that day care center is horrible! The willingness to blame the victim's injuries on the victim is disturbing and speaks of staff who do not know what they are doing.

musiclover 05-17-2019 07:17 AM

I am in a hurry to get this written. My youngest grandchild goes to a large daycare called Amazing Explorers. There are 320 children there, many come after school.

Daycare prides itself on STEM activities and enrichment. Grandson is 20-months-old. Parents have been told twice now that he is 'behind' their developmental targets. Both times it was trivial stuff. I have watched the child grow up, and he is not behind his peers.

Now he is being bitten over and over. One day he was bitten 4 times! Parents are being told, "If he expressed himself better, this wouldn't happen. He needs to talk in 2-word phrases." Not one child in his toddler room uses 2-word phrases. I have been in there.

Now, parents are considering having him tested, because daycare has convinced them that the biting is all DGS fault. And that he probably has a speech delay. Meanwhile, the biting continues.

Oh yes, and very high staff turnover rate. New teacher in his room since Monday.

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