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KyTeach3 09-18-2010 04:59 PM

Won't leave area to take a break
I'm frustrated by how choppy our MM is. Very often during morning meeting the same kids yell out, interrupt etc. Then I have to stop to remind them of the rules. We always review the expectations before meeting and their importance, I praise correct behavior and I kindly remind kids who interupt. Yesterday after the same student needed to be reminded 4 times I asked him to return to his seat to take a break. He said "No" and refused to go.

What do I do now? I felt it was a bigger interuption to argue with him, so I ignored him and continued meeting.

This is just 1 example of defiance some of my kids have shown. What is the logical consequence for defiance. These children have refused to go to a rest area, as well as leave the room with my buddy teacher.

Nicki2482 09-19-2010 06:10 AM

that's a tough one!
in the case of the child refusing to go to time out, I would probably then use a buddy teacher time out. I, like you, have also have that backfire on me (the child refusing to go), and when that happened, I would involve an administrator and contact the parents.

You might also try using time out sooner - before these students have a chance to really become upset and defiant. Rather than give students several reminders about calling out, give a break the first time. When I went to my first RC training, I heard something that really stuck with me - "the time out is the warning." By giving a student a break when you sense a child is at the very beginning stages of losing control or when he breaks the rule the first time, kids are set clear boundaries.

Good luck!

peggyteach 09-23-2010 05:06 PM

I'm wondering if you have support from your administration. Do you have people available who can remove a defiant student to take a time-out in the office or w/ a guidance counselor, when they are not cooperating in class? If the student won't go with the buddy teacher, the next step is typically to call for help.

A brief private meeting with the defiant student to help solve this problem might be a good idea. Maybe he can work with you to come up with a plan. Have you seen the book, Solving Thorny Behavior Problems, or Caltha Crowe's book about Sammy? Let him know that you expect him to follow the rules and you trust that he is capable of doing so. And let him know what will happen if he doesn't.Then follow through. Also, let him know that you see his strengths and you believe he can have a good year.

As much as you can, keep your calm focus on the rule-followers.
Hang in there!

kindygirl 09-23-2010 05:32 PM

making choices
i have a child in my room this year who is bipolar/adhd and very difficult to handle. he often does the same kind of thing. i have found that giving him choices works best for him. for instance, if he were at the carpet and making noises or interrupting i might ask him to leave the carpet. if he refused to go i would tell him that he was making a choice. if he chooses to stay at the carpet then he will have to listen quietly to the lesson. if he continues to interrupt and will not leave the carpet i would tell him that he is making the choice to repeat the lesson during recess. then i ignore him. i continue the lesson and ignore the behavior. but then at recess i would remind him that he chose to repeat the lesson and would have him come back to the carpet while the other kids go outside and do the lesson all over with him.

same thing with rest time. if he refuses to rest at the appropriate time i would tell him "if you don't want to rest now that's up to you. you can continue fooling around. you can make that choice. but if you make that choice then you will have to rest while the other children are playing." then walk away from him and let him make the choice.

same thing with buddy teacher. if he refuses to go tell him that is his choice. he can stay in the room and not go with the buddy teacher. but tell him that if he makes that choice then he will have to go with the buddy teacher when the other kids go to lunch, or out to recess because he has to go with the buddy teacher at some time during the day. then walk away from him and let him make the choice.

this has really worked well for me with the kids in my room. they seem to like the idea of "having a choice" (even though one of the choice stinks :>) and it also helps to walk away and let them make the decision on their own. i think it makes them feel as though they have some control over the situation. when they make the right choice i tell them quietly that i think they made a good choice and i think they will be happy about that.

pitta 10-09-2010 07:58 AM

This is similar to how I approach it as well but I really like your language. I will use that same phrase next time: You are making a choice right now, if your choice is to... I really like this, it is so logical. Thank you.

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