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-   -   My sister is bridezilla (http://www.proteacher.net/discussions/showthread.php?t=130918)

TeAcHeRinFL 12-20-2008 09:54 PM

My sister is bridezilla
 
Ok, I'm interested to hear what other people think. I live in Florida and my family all lives in NY State. I was scheduled to go there for the holidays with my boyfriend until my sister, who is getting married in August, completely started accusing me of caring about other things besides her wedding and not doing what I was supposed to be doing as a maid of honor. I've never been a maid of honor before and don't really know what one does, but she never told me anything to do. On top of the fact that I live hundreds of miles away. My mother has accused us both of acting like brats and told me that we need to act like adults. I feel that I haven't done anything childish at all. My sister then proceeded to tell me that I care more about playing sports than her wedding. Personally, I'm not going to prioritize my life around her wedding when I have my own life to live as well. Meanwhile, my boyfriend is appalled by everything my sister is saying and now doesn't want to make the trip. I'm to the point where the holiday is now ruined and don't feel like going either, but would only do so for my mother's sake who I know already hates that I live in another state anyway. Is my sister being a bridezilla or am I taking things the wrong way?

rolltidegirl 12-20-2008 11:03 PM

hard to tell ... what is your sister accusing you of not doing or not caring about? I am matron of honor in my sister's upcoming wedding so I might could give you some insight based upon our experiences but I don't know what she is upset with.

GraceKrispy 12-21-2008 02:06 AM

I would ask her what she expects you to be doing. Sounds like she has some expectations about what she thinks a maid of honor should be doing...? Is she trying to talk to you about her wedding plans and you're not listening? Does she think you should be planning her shower or something already? It sounds like she's being a little unrealistic, but I need more details.

MS Math 12-21-2008 04:24 AM

Sensitive brides
 
I think when you're planning a wedding, your hormones go into overdrive. Maybe your sister wishes you were around to talk over every little detail of every part of the wedding. In my experience, that's what future brides like to do. Since you don't live close, she's missing being able to show you all the pictures from the bride magazines and ask your opinions, or just have you listen. I think you should go home for C'mas and try to spend some quality time with your sister. Talk to her about the wedding and tell her how happy you are for her and how excited you are to be her maid of honor. Ask her what you can do for her.
I hope it all works out.

Krissy 12-21-2008 04:56 AM

I'd be frustrated
 
It's very common for brides to get a little crazy when planning their wedding. But, you did say that the wedding is in August right? We're talking 8 months...what is her problem? While you did not mention specifically what she is mad about...I would put a stop to this right away. Everyone should enjoy the holidays. The world does not revolve around your sister's wedding.

Miller 12-21-2008 05:11 AM

I was my sister's Maid of Honor but I was 21 and didn't know or care what I was supposed to do. All I knew was that I was supposed to hold her bouquet and fix her dress at the altar. but she didn't care, other bridesmaids picked up my slack.

I guess she may be mad that you havent' taken the initiative to see what things you should be doing.

Currently, I'm a Matron of Honor and the only things I've done was picked out my dress (3 months before the wedding...yikes), planned the shower, and helped plan the bachelorette party with other bridesmaids. Unless your sister wants you to help her with picking out wedding stuff, I don't see why she should be so mad. Since you don't likve in the same state and you're not getting married, you shouldn't have to pick out the wedding stuff anyway.

Have you asked her what she wants you to do? Maybe when the wedding is over she'll get her head out of her a$$ and apologize.

CageyBee 12-21-2008 05:37 AM

Reality
 
Boyfriends come and go...family is forever...better get up there for the holidays and find out what is expected of you. Rise above your sister's temper tantrums...show mom you're not the brat.

Rubyslippers 12-21-2008 06:11 AM

This is why I hate weddings..the bride thinks it is ok to act like a brat and have the whole world kiss her *feet* and throw tons of money her way just because someone propsed to her?!

I agree with Krissy, the whole world (and your whole life) does not revolve around your sister's wedding.Ask your sister what she wants you to do and then agree to do only what is REASONABLE and affordable for YOU. SHE needs to realize the logistics of the fact that you live on the other end of the country and have your own life.

If your boyfriend doesn't want to go, that is OK, he doesn't have to go.

Jackie 12-21-2008 06:29 AM

Well..
 
I think the Maid of Honor is supposed to be helping the bride during this time in her life. Are you offering her help and doing the things the maid of honor is supposed to be doing? If not then yes maybe she does have a right to be upset. Are you working on planning her shower?? Are you looking for dresses for the bridal party and emailing them to her?? I understand you are out of state. So was I when I was my sister's maid of honor. BUT...I did fly out to visit her a few times to help her out with what I could. I also planned her shower and bachelorette party from 1000 miles away with the help of the other bridesmaids. I made sure I did things to let her know I was thinking about her and the wedding.

You agreed to be maid of honor...step it up if your not fulfilling your responsibilities. If you are doing these things, well then maybe she is being a bit of a bridezilla.

You really didn't say what exactly she is accusing you of not doing. Give us details so we can say for sure if you are doing what you need to do or if she is being unreasonable.

BTW..not nice of your boyfriend to try and come in between you and your sister. He should mind his business...

teachnkids 12-21-2008 06:52 AM

There are two issues here---you not being a very good maid of honor in your sisters opinion and visiting the family for Chirstmas.

As for Chirstmas---You need to get up there and put a big smile on your face. If BF does not want to go then so be it. He is not the type that will support you in times of need and I would think long and hard if he's the guy for you.

Wedding---when I get home I would have a calm converstaion with Sis about what she wants you to do and what you are able to do being so far away. You do have to realize this is a very important day for her and she wants it to be perfect. She may be upset because you are not as invested in the wedding as she is. It's hard for you to be too into it living so far away.

Work together with your family and have a wonderful Christmas!


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