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Kermit 12-15-2012 01:31 PM

My mom makes me sick...
It's super frustrating to have my mother as my mom. First off, we never celebrated Christmas when I was a kid. We are Jewish and she converted. This makes the whole thing even more frustrating.

1- she gave me a Christmas gift list of the things she wanted. Every one of the items was over $100.

2- She never said anything to me about what I wanted... whatever- I really just want $, but she's probably going to go to the dollar store (yes, really) or re-gift something she either got as a gift from sending money to the Trinity Broadcast Network or from one of her clients. She has done all three of those things before. Usually, she gives me like, $25 and tells me not to cash the check until later.

3- She cancels everything. We arranged to do an early Christmas today, because she is working a lot and so forth. Then she cancels.

4- She canceled after about 25 phone calls arranging for today, including ideas from entertaining and doing the whole Christmas thing at her house, to eating at this restaurant I hate. When I didn't want to go to the horrible restaurant she wanted her back hurt and she needed to rest today.

5- She also won't stop asking if I got her the Chanel perfume she requested (no I did not.)

6- My GF is not thrilled with my mom- she finds her manipulative and thinks I need to stand up to her. This just adds more conflict to the situation.

7- in terms of feeling annoyed about the $ thing, my mom was LITERALLY a millionaire and has spent her way through the money, by being reckless and basically neglectful to her children. Now she is all frustrated because she can't have the things she used to so she wants me to buy them for her. Um, no. You should have saved your money and not blown it on your bad boyfriends.

Anyway, dealing with her just makes me feel sick to my stomach.

timeforbed 12-15-2012 01:38 PM

Maybe you should call her on it. Sending a slightly modified text of what you just wrote may help you deal with your frustration. It probably won't change her personality, but it may set her back and she may reflect a bit and try harder for awhile...after the initial blowup and attempt to be a martyr about everything. Oops, I may be projecting a bit on the martyr complex. My mother was pretty good at that.

I don't care if it is a family member or it is the holiday season and you're supposed to turn the other cheek. Sometimes you keep turning your cheek until your head is spinning. Not healthy for you.

subczy 12-15-2012 02:06 PM

dear mom
A donation has been made to the Chanel charity of whatever it is they donate to in your name. Happy holidays. ( then write it off your taxes)

Hifiman 12-15-2012 02:35 PM

Donate money in her name to
The Human Fund. That seems fitting.

Miller 12-15-2012 03:15 PM

give her a gift card for $25 with a note that says "put this toward your Chanel"

klarabelle 12-15-2012 03:20 PM

Your GF is right, step away from mom. Remember you can pick your friends, not your family. Stay away from toxic people and enjoy your life. You do not need her in your life, she brings you down and no one needs that. People might not agree because its your mother, but I go by the feelings...if you would not choose that person to be a friend, than why include them in your life.

Enjoy your holiday<!--menorah2-->

fish2 12-15-2012 06:35 PM

Find something that she re-gifted to you, and re-gift it right back <!--santa-->
It won't chage her in any way, but it would be worth it just to see her face (are you sure we are not related?)

kster 12-15-2012 07:24 PM

I feel for you. It would be weird if my mom sent me a "Santa wish list"....but then again it might be a little bit ok because I can never figure out something she REALY wants.<!--eyebrow-->

ArtistLove 12-15-2012 07:39 PM


I think we might have the same Mother.

BioAdoptMom3 12-16-2012 08:13 PM

I love the idea of sending her a card with a note stating that you have made a $25 donation to her favorite charity!


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