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Lanieob 02-13-2020 05:52 AM

Parents in Denial- Advice Needed
Can anyone provide some advice on dealing with parents in denial.
I posted about this K student before- significant sensory issues, regulatory issues, attention issues, organizational issues. He needs lots of monitoring and attention. He comes from a private preschool- the preschool director said the parents were informed about their concerns multiple times over the course of several years but he was not sent for evaluation of any kind.
He now gets OT, modificatons, etc. Making some progress- but does not demonstrate readiness for first grade. I just sent home his mid year report card- while celebrating small steps- clearly described the continuing issues. Parents are seeking private OT- which is great-but stated they were glad that he seems to be doing well???? There just seems to be a disconnect- they have to be seeing this at home. BTW- this is their youngest child. He has been brought up to student study team, etc- but I am certain they will never agree to this going forward. So worried about next year. Any and all advice would be greatly appreciated.

kahluablast 02-13-2020 06:22 AM

I would see if I could have others in the meeting where I tell them that I will not recommend progressing to first grade. OT and school counselor. I would have data ready but not sugar coat it (this might not be a time to say all the great things he does, because it will be harder for them to hear what you want them to hear).

That said - in our system a child doesn't get modifications unless they are in the system and designated as Special Ed, and then unless parents ask for it, they don't get retained. Is this child on an IEP? If not, don't make modifications. That changes what parents see.

Lanieob 02-13-2020 07:59 AM

No- no IEP. This is true about modifications- I had not thought of that. When I met with parents in October- they seemed surprised at what I had to say- and said their son had such a great, nurturing experience in preschool. They seemed to nitpick everything I did and put it back on me. When I spoke to preschool- the director stated that parents never followed up on her suggestions for meeting, etc. His report card had positives- but perhaps I am sugar coating too much. Interesting fact- Dad is big guy in the district. When I suggested perhaps an extra year before first grade ( August boy)- basically said no.

Sbkangas5 02-15-2020 01:15 PM

When parents are in denial the only thing you can do is document everything and leave a long paper trail so that someday they can see that the issues have been ongoing. Don't sugarcoat anything, especially academic. Yes, praise gains but also state clearly that the child is not meeting expectations and exactly what they should know vs what they do know at each report.

If the student really does have some learning disabilities, retention is not going to help. Moving him on so he gets tested and diagnosed will.

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