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marie321286 03-11-2017 12:51 PM

Potentially Dangerous Student
I recently made the move from working in an elementary school setting to working in a high school setting. One of the students I work with is a boy with an emotional disturbance and intellectual disability. He's usually the sweetest kid you'll ever meet. But, he's prone to explosive outbursts. He also has a pattern of inappropriate behavior towards female peers. He has a history of imagining that he's in a relationship with some of the girls, and then stalking them. I'm this student's case manager, and work one on one with him for about a third of my day. He's began staring at me intently for extended periods of time and asking me a lot of personal questions. When I told an adminstrator at the school about the situation, I was told that there are concerns that this child is escalating towards commiting a sexual assult. I was told to begin spending one on one time with him to directly address the stalking behaviors. But, I was also told that I need to be careful because with the way he was acting towards me, he could pose a very real danger to me personally. I have a good relationship with the student. However, his behavior also makes me very uncomfortable. I'm afraid that my discomfort with him will affect the quality of education I give him. How can I give him the best education possible and also look out for my personal safety?

SocratesLntrn 03-12-2017 07:08 AM

Tough Case
I'm hoping that he's seeing a therapist outside of school. Wondering if he should be working with a male instead of you. He is probably picking up that you're uncomfortable with him. How do you handle the personal questions? It almost sounds as if he needs more help than you can give him.

newbie17 03-12-2017 10:37 AM

Is there anyway you could have a man with you when spend time with this boy? Perhaps someone that could serve as a para for him? It sounds like a dangerous situation for you and not one you should be in. We do everything we can to give our kids the best education possible, but when it comes to personal safety you have to draw a line. What good are you to him if he does assault you? How will that change the way you interact with other students when (or if) you come back work after the assault? If the admins know he is a potential risk you need to document that and demand to not be left alone with this young man. Having a male take over this case would be ideal, but asking for a male para to be with him at all times might be the most feasible solution. Best of luck!!

teabreak 03-12-2017 01:38 PM

Oh wow! Ok, obviously this student is making you very uncomfortable (I would be too). Try to limit your 1:1 time with him. Always have another adult with you. Be very direct with the stalking behavior he is showing and document each time you address it. Let him know you are documenting the conversation as well as the outcome.

Is there a male in the room that this student could work with for the most part? I don't know what your frequency of time is for specially designed instruction with this student, but I would keep it very teacher/student professional when you do have to deliver instruction. If he asks personal questions, just tell him you can't/won't answer anything like that.

Not sure why this has me really worried, but it does. I work with students that have similar sexual behaviors, but one student eventually aged out of our program where he was making progress but didn't get the help he needed afterwards. He is now in prison for sexually assaulting 3 ladies in the span of 2 days.

Mshope 03-14-2017 05:34 PM

Please Protect Yourself
When I read this, I got chills.

First of all, I have had two similar students. One was a stalker who was a bit fixated on younger girls. I had to report him several times for harassing girls who were afraid of him. The second student has been sexually abused and started escalating his inappropriate behavior. He became obsessed with a newer teacher whom he had for study hall. He was caught writing explicit things about her. He was immediately moved out of her class. This kid had every type of therapy and service under the sun. Sadly, even with all the help, he could not function. He ended up getting put in a placement. One day after school he and his sister were the only kids who ended up staying for this tutoring program that was cancelled due to weather. He got very creepy and started with the inappropriate comments to his sister and me. At the time, we were waiting for this social worker to pick up these kids. She forgot and was 70 minutes late! I am very thankful the sister was with me. I reported everything, but nothing was really done. (Shocker!) Looking back, I should have never been alone with this student. As the months went on, he got worse and worse.

I think you need to do your work with him in the hallway or in the library or office. Is there an union or someone you can talk to? I now think that my student kind of got some kind of thrill from making women and girls uncomfortable. There are a few things he said with this gleam in his eye that really disturbed me. Luckily, I was able to report these things to our guidance office and a VP who was close with him. Yet, none of what we did seemed to help him. If I saw this student on the street, to this day, I would probably hide from him.

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