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Editor 04-02-2016 04:23 PM

April Fools Day $50 Drawing Winner! [April Fools!]
Thank you to everyone who participated at ProTeacher this past week! Thank you for making ProTeacher a friendly, fun and supportive place to ask questions and share experiences with fellow teachers. We all win when we share ideas and support each other!

We announced our April Fools Day drawing on April 2. Rather than the usual email RSVP, we decided to not post a link on our home page to the April Fools Day drawing entry form. Members who visited ProTeacher on April Fools Day no doubt missed the large colorful April Fools Day image on our home page.

Thank you to all the many members who participate in our April Fools Day drawing! Sorry to anyone who will miss this drawing! :(

[drum roll..]

And here isn't the lucky WINNER of this week's April Fools Day Drawing. The winner will receive a $50 gift certificate!




winner of the random drawing:

Thanks again to everyone who will participate!
Stay tuned for our next drawing!

How the winner will be selected:

To select our winner, we will use the 'true random number generator' at to choose one random number between 1 and the number of replies on this thread. The generator will give us a number which we will match up with the reply numbers on this thread. The matching reply will be our winner provided that the winning member posts no more than two replies on this thread, and if so, not consecutively. If posting a second reply, the winner must include a joke or riddle (PG or G rated) in their second reply. We will not count extra replies deleted by members on their own (members have up to 24 hours to edit or delete posts on ProTeacher), but we can not help members delete extra replies (sorry). We will repeat this process until we find a winner.

All replies must be posted by 10 pm PST Wedneday, April 6th. The Winner will be announced Thursday, April 7th. Winner must claim prize within 30 days or forfeit the prize. The winner's prize will be sent by email. Please keep the email address associated with your ProTeacher account valid and up-to-date! We never share your email address with anyone, and that's no joke.

Munchkins 04-02-2016 05:52 PM

I am very confused....
:confused: I can't follow this post. I didn't see any April fools day image or anything about a drawing. Maybe that's the joke? Maybe I'm dense, but I don't get it....

I just reread this for the third time, and now I understand! Sometimes a bit slow, it's been a rough week! LOL

read2day 04-02-2016 05:54 PM

Count me in
I am also confused!

Suezie 04-02-2016 06:09 PM

I think I get it <!--eyebrow-->but I now need someone to post another reply before I can comment again with a joke.....

PEPteach 04-02-2016 06:12 PM I get it. I needed to do some close reading. <!--giggle-->

h0kie 04-02-2016 06:28 PM

Um, say what?
Yep, confused here, too. I think I get it, but I'm not sure.

Eccj 04-02-2016 06:40 PM

I think I get it!
I love you all at PT. You truly are "friendly, fun and supportive!"

Zia 04-02-2016 06:43 PM


I needed to do some close reading
PEPteach made me laugh!

Munchkins 04-02-2016 06:46 PM

Bob Hope
He was one of my favorite comedians. I remember when he was on his deathbed and his wife asked him where he wanted to be buried. He answered, "Surprise me." LOL

Here's another favorite joke of his:

"Welcome to the Academy Awards. Or as it’s known at my house, Passover.”
Hope's most famous crack about his most famous running gag at the Academy Awards: never winning an Oscar himself. Hope, who hosted or co-hosted the show a record 19 times, was somewhat disingenuous: The Academy actually gave him five awards over the years, all honorary.

h0kie 04-02-2016 06:47 PM

Gotta love teacher jokes...
Why did the teacher marry the janitor?

Because he swept her off her feet!


Zia 04-02-2016 06:49 PM

What's blue and smells like red paint?

Blue paint.

GlacierRose 04-02-2016 07:01 PM

I love contests! No joke.


gofish 04-02-2016 07:19 PM

Reread, reread, reread
I had to reread several times. The first time I just read the first part then I scanned the second time and noticed the bottom part but didn't reread. The third time I read all the way through. So I understand now. I think...:confused:

pdxteacher 04-02-2016 07:30 PM

Oh good grief - that was too much thinking for a Saturday night! LOL

read2day 04-02-2016 07:36 PM

For cat lovers
What do you call a big pile of kittens? A meowntain.

Gogogo 04-02-2016 07:41 PM

I wonder if that's how
I sound to the students when I give them directions. I hope not!

renielen 04-02-2016 07:57 PM

Why was the student's report card all wet?
Because it was below C (sea) level

fish2 04-02-2016 08:28 PM

This is like when you give students a paper and they don't read the directions before they start asking you what to do!! LOL!! LOLLOLLOL

Mrs.Lilbit 04-02-2016 09:00 PM

This is funny. I almost didn't click on this thread because I didn't enter the contest. I love the jokes.

kahluablast 04-02-2016 09:25 PM

Wow. Gotta think hard to figure things out.

pdxteacher 04-02-2016 09:53 PM

1 Attachment(s)
Here's my favorite joke - with help from my girl. <!--giggle-->

FLteachESE 04-03-2016 02:05 AM

Close reading at its finest! Thank you for the lesson LOL

Here's a little joke:
Stressing the importance of a good vocabulary, the teacher told her young charges, "Use a word ten times, and it shall be yours for life."

From somewhere in the back of the room, came a small male voice chanting, "Amanda, Amanda, Amanda, Amanda, Amanda, Amanda, Amanda, Amanda, Amanda, Amanda

SpedQueenBee 04-03-2016 02:14 AM

Glad I'm not the only one who was confused. I read the directions 3 times. I think I get it now!

dee 04-03-2016 02:46 AM

This took me a bit

I felt like my students

lisa53 04-03-2016 02:55 AM

Good morning! I read this last night...sort of. I did a much more thorough job this morning, and now I know what I need to do.;)

ForeverMom 04-03-2016 03:45 AM

Hopefully I understand. :p

JenInWV 04-03-2016 04:24 AM

LOL. I think I get it!

gardener5 04-03-2016 04:46 AM

Nice job on this PT!!<!--giggle-->

JenInWV 04-03-2016 04:55 AM

Very clever idea!

A woman noticed her husband standing on the bathroom scale, sucking in his stomach. “Haha! That’s not going to help,” she said.

“Sure, it does,” he said. “It’s the only way I can see the numbers.” LOL

amiga13 04-03-2016 04:56 AM

Do you folks know that the listed winner, NADIE, means 'no one' in Spanish?

ForeverMom 04-03-2016 05:00 AM

Where do snowmen keep their money?

In snow banks.

Appropriate as we are expecting 6 inches of snow today.:rolleyes:

SleepEatTeach 04-03-2016 05:05 AM

Clever PT! I had to read twice. I am a skimmer :o.

krazykaye 04-03-2016 05:06 AM

Such fun
I was totally confused until I read the last paragraph. Thanks for keeping it interesting!LOLLOL

gardener5 04-03-2016 05:09 AM

Keep 'em coming.

I once gave my husband the silent treatment for a whole week. Sunday afternoon he told me, "Hey, we've been getting along great lately!"

JulieG04 04-03-2016 05:13 AM

A PT "gotcha"!!
Oh, editors, you got me!! LOL

Why did the teacher tell her students not to trust atoms?

Because they make up EVERYTHING!!! :D
(badumbum, I'm here all week, folks)<!--grass_flowers-->

luvtoread25 04-03-2016 05:16 AM

Great lesson
This is a great lesson for teachers on reading closely. I read the post but not the part about how a winner will be selected. Then I read a few comments and saw that everyone was confused by the post, but a few thought they had figured it out. I went back and closely read the whole thing and I also now think I understand!
Very clever PT! :)

PEPteach 04-03-2016 05:17 AM

What is a math teacher’s favorite sum?
Summer! <!--grass_flowers--><!--sing-->

word girl 04-03-2016 05:21 AM

1st reply
Okay, I think I get it....

Knock, knock..... [reply to follow]

Teacherbee_4 04-03-2016 05:22 AM

Great joke, but looking forward to the real announcement on April 6th!

SpedQueenBee 04-03-2016 05:26 AM

Q: What is a golfer's favorite letter?

A: tee

dee 04-03-2016 05:30 AM

What's the ratio of an igloos circumference to its diametet?
Eskimo pi!

teachnkids 04-03-2016 05:31 AM

Great lesson....practice what we preach!

word girl 04-03-2016 05:32 AM

2nd reply
.....who's there?


Banana Who?

Knock, knock.

Who's there?


Banana Who?

Knock, knock.

Who's there?


Orange Who?


Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

[This joke cracks up my first graders<!--giggle-->]

teachnkids 04-03-2016 05:33 AM

1 Attachment(s)
This is great!

letsgomets 04-03-2016 05:34 AM

I am jaded
I barely looked at the announcement the first time.:o:o

luvtoread25 04-03-2016 05:43 AM

Now for the joke!
One day a first grade teacher handed out a coloring sheet to her students. On it was a picture of a frog holding an umbrella.
When the students finished coloring the picture, one little boy had colored the frog a bright purple.
The teacher asked the little boy how many times he had ever seen a purple frog.
The little boy replied, "About as many times as I've seen a frog holding an umbrella!"

WIBadgerFan 04-03-2016 05:55 AM

I get it now. I guess I should have read it better the first time I looked at it.

GreyhoundGirl 04-03-2016 06:42 AM

I get it now. Why is 6 afraid of 7! Because 7 8 9. ;)

tchrrx 04-03-2016 06:48 AM

LOL. That was funny! I was thinking, "I always get the emails. I wonder how I missed this one?"

forkids2 04-03-2016 07:15 AM

I think I understand
Had to read three times too. I think I get it now.

prechrswife 04-03-2016 07:20 AM

That one took a minute. Guess I should read instead of skimming. :)

tyrex 04-03-2016 07:29 AM

I almost didn't read this thread since I knew I hadn't entered a contest. I was even feeling disappointed that I'd missed a contest since I love the PT drawings. But I thought that any thread with 50 some replies must be worth reading, and I was right!

Savvy 04-03-2016 07:30 AM

PT is keeping us on our toes.

dutchgirl 04-03-2016 07:31 AM

Perfect! Teachers who take attendance are absent minded.<!--giggle-->

tyrex 04-03-2016 07:33 AM

What do you get when you cross a rabbit with an anesthesiologist?

The Ether Bunny

dutchgirl 04-03-2016 07:36 AM

A little boy told his teacher, " I don't want you to worry, but my dad said if I don't get a better grade someone is going to get a spanking!"

forkids2 04-03-2016 07:38 AM

A zookeeper is ordering new 
animals. As he fills out the forms, he types “two mongeese.” That doesn’t look right, so he tries “two mongoose,” then “two mongooses.” Giving up, he types, “One mongoose, and while you’re at it, send another one.”

eagles23 04-03-2016 07:43 AM

I was always told to read the fine print...:)

Savvy 04-03-2016 07:44 AM

why did the chicken cross the road
To get to the other side.

Oh, I thought of a better one: What do you call a deer with no eyes?

I have no "eye"deer

teacherpippi 04-03-2016 07:50 AM

I love all these jokes. I'll have a few new ones to tell my kids.

Suezie 04-03-2016 08:01 AM

My turn! My turn!
What do you call a bear with no teeth?








A gummy bear!!LOL


teacherpippi 04-03-2016 08:05 AM

My girls' favorite:

Why did the banana go to the doctor?

He wasn't peeling well.

(then proceed to tell other 'jokes' that aren't funny in the least but will cause them to fall over laughing)

eagles23 04-03-2016 08:08 AM

What's bright and yellow and arrives every morning to brighten your mom's day?

The school bus!<!--schoolbus--><!--sunshine--><!--giggle-->

GlacierRose 04-03-2016 08:10 AM

I love Jelly Bellies. No joke.


How long a thread will this end up being?

expertteacher 04-03-2016 08:32 AM

And we tell our students to read closely. I'm so used to seeing these Congratulations posts that I skimmed my way through and completely missed the key words ending up completely confused. It didn't even occur to me to read the post again until I started reading the comments. I just wanted to know why I didn't get an email (did it go to spam for the first time) and how did I miss this on the board because I know I visited. After all, Proteacher is my therapy. SMH

NerdGirl 04-03-2016 08:52 AM

I always tell my students, read all of the directions. And did I? No, not until I saw others' posts. I'm like that kid who turns in the assignment and then say, "There was a back?!"

PoohBear 04-03-2016 09:00 AM

Very clever editors! LOL

Here's something from my favorite cartoonist Liz Climo, reminds me of being a kindergarten teacher ;)

TeacherMeg 04-03-2016 09:11 AM

I'm on Spring Break and this post really made me have to think. Not cool. LOLLOL

But maybe I'll be the winner. :cool:

123rabbit 04-03-2016 09:16 AM

Great fun to extend the April fools day excitement :)<!--grass_flowers-->

WacSingLof 04-03-2016 09:31 AM

Great idea! I had to re-read too...
This one is my 3rd graders' favorite:
Why does the teacher always wear sunglasses?
Because her students are so brilliant:)

deb603 04-03-2016 09:52 AM

Wow, glad I came back here to check on this thread! Just skimmed first time and was sad I didn't get my usual email. Live and learn!

DiamondGirl 04-03-2016 09:58 AM

All I can do is laugh.

vttraveler 04-03-2016 10:23 AM

Will this reply be the lucky one?!<!--shootingstars-->:)

texteach55 04-03-2016 10:25 AM

what a great idea!
I love all the jokes!

MrsSusko 04-03-2016 10:49 AM

I certainly feel like an April fool.;)

SleepEatTeach 04-03-2016 10:57 AM

Here's a joke I remember from my childhood and my first graders still love it:

How do you make a tissue dance?
Put a little boogey in it! LOL

dawnmei 04-03-2016 11:57 AM

No one at school got me, but this had me :confused:

letsgomets 04-03-2016 12:09 PM

For my second post
I will post an extremely lame joke:

What kind of dot dances? A polka dot.

One of my issues is that I cannot remember jokes. This is one of the few I can actually remember.

all41 04-03-2016 02:15 PM

Enjoying the jokes!
Teachers can be so clever! :)

lasflores 04-03-2016 02:16 PM

I love contests too

CricketSpecEd 04-03-2016 02:59 PM

Now I know why I always tell my students to read carefully, and to read it again!

Mrs.Lilbit 04-03-2016 03:02 PM

Do anti-jokes count?

What is red and bad for your teeth?
A brick.

lisa53 04-03-2016 03:06 PM

A sodium atom and a chlorine atom go into a bar. The chlorine atom steals one of sodium's electrons. The bartender asked sodium, "Are you sure chlorine took your electron?" "Of course! I'm positive!"

So the police were called.

And both atoms were charged....

....with assault. (A salt....get it?)

lovetocruise 04-03-2016 03:07 PM

Very tricky!
I had to go back and reread this again after I started reading some of the replies. Editors, you are really keeping us on our toes!

mes 04-03-2016 03:14 PM

I think spring break was obviously very relaxing for me, brain included. I read the original post the other day and thought I had missed something. I was actually missing working brain cells.

kahluablast 04-03-2016 03:15 PM

What the king do with his armies?

Put them in his sleevies.LOL

donna 04-03-2016 03:36 PM

What's Luke Skywalker's favorite car?
.a Toy Yoda!:D

vttraveler 04-03-2016 03:41 PM

Q: Why can't you give Elsa a balloon?
A: Because she will Let it go.


Zephie 04-03-2016 04:56 PM

This thread is making me smile. Almost completely skipped this thread and then decided to see who won.

tchrrx 04-03-2016 05:20 PM

Why did the teacher write the lesson on the windows?

She wanted it to be clear.

TLC 04-03-2016 05:36 PM

A gift card could really help me get over the snow we are starting spring break with.
And the fact that we were literally pulling out of the driveway to go to Florida, and had to cancel our trip.:(

Fleurdelys 04-03-2016 06:28 PM

Did you hear the joke about butter?

Never mind ... I shouldn't spread it.

lasflores 04-03-2016 07:32 PM

2nd Reply
What do you call ten rabbits walking backwards?
A receding hareline

asica 04-03-2016 09:50 PM

I guess, I have to come up with a joke now

broomrider 04-03-2016 10:19 PM

Close reading indeed!
We are so much like our students!

joyhopelove 04-04-2016 05:06 AM

No joke...
I hope I win!!

Gromit 04-04-2016 05:50 AM

Great April Fool's joke - fool us into revealing we aren't as good at close reading as we want our students to be. LOL ;)

I hope I win! :D

nyteacher29 04-04-2016 07:28 AM

PD Activity?
I can only imagine how this would work at one of our department meetings...

Gromit 04-04-2016 10:52 AM

And now a joke!
Why did the bicycle fall over?

It was two tired (too tired). :p


nyteacher29 04-04-2016 11:10 AM

2nd reply
One day on Mercury lasts approximately 1408 hours...........


The same as one Monday on Earth.

Enough said. <!--giggle-->LOL

FLTeach73 04-04-2016 11:26 AM

Boy was I confused! I didn't even read the fine print the first time!:rolleyes:

SCS89 04-04-2016 12:35 PM

See what I miss when I go on spring break

bellringer 04-04-2016 02:01 PM

april fool
I wondered why there were so many posts on this thread???? NOW I know!

unseen001 04-04-2016 02:08 PM

It takes some of us a little longer to read the fine print. LOL

tctrojan 04-04-2016 02:20 PM

Count me in!
I hope I win it!

SCS89 04-04-2016 03:25 PM

Don't trust atoms.
They make up everything.

unseen001 04-04-2016 03:31 PM

9 out of 10 voices in my head are telling me that I am too fat. The last one is calmly preparing a bowl of chips.

trasie 04-04-2016 03:55 PM

I Read This Yesterday
but I was too lazy to respond considering it required more brain power than I felt like using. Today, feeling rested and wanting a chance to win, I'm back. I even looked up the meaning of "nadie" and to that I will say, "Clever, very clever."

whatever 04-04-2016 05:04 PM

Very good!
I too had to read and re-read. lol

Do you know how ducks get flat feet?

From stomping out forest fires....

trasie 04-04-2016 05:07 PM

Dirty Joke!
A little boy fell in a mud puddle.

IA11 04-04-2016 05:08 PM

Took me several reads....
To get this! 😀

rusty 04-04-2016 05:10 PM

Fun reading!
Just saw this today....loved the jokes! Will try to post one of my own tomorrow.

whatever 04-04-2016 05:15 PM

part 2
Do you know how elephants get flat feet?

from stomping out flaming ducks....

you have to read both posts to get this...

texteach55 04-04-2016 05:35 PM

Here's my joke...
Why was 8 complaining?

Her belt was too tight.

IA11 04-04-2016 05:47 PM

Here's my joke!
Why were the teacher's eyes crossed?

Because she couldn't control her pupils!!


magnolia 04-05-2016 02:29 AM

I Was Wondering
I thought I missed an email. I guess not. :)

tctrojan 04-05-2016 05:52 AM

Math riddle
How can you make the number seven even?

Take away the S

Song of Joy 04-05-2016 06:08 AM

I there are 3 apples and you take 2 away, how many do you have?
Well, 2, because you took them

dakota_blue5 04-05-2016 06:24 AM

I love reading the jokes! This is one of my favorite jokes but I usually get blank stares when I tell it.

Daddy Ghost rushes Mama Ghost to the hospital. She's just gone into labor. He gets her situated with the doctor in the delivery room and is then sent out into the waiting room. He's so nervous! He paces up and down and around the chairs. He doesn't know what to do with himself. Finally, after what seems like an eternity, the nurse comes out and tells him, "Congratulations! You have a handkerchief!"

rusty 04-05-2016 08:55 AM

here's my joke
How do the bees get to school?


Well, my three year old grandson thinks it's hilarious!

fish2 04-05-2016 09:52 AM

Q: What does a nosey pepper do?

A: Gets jalapeno business! LOLLOLLOLLOLLOL

magnolia 04-05-2016 11:35 AM

Q: Why do bananas have to put on sunscreen before they go to the beach?
A: Because they might peel!

INeedANap 04-05-2016 05:13 PM

:) we are eating left over pizza for dinner tonight. Must thought you ought to know.

dawnmei 04-06-2016 11:51 AM

What do you call a fish without an eye?


anonymouse 04-06-2016 12:40 PM

Did you hear about the new restaurant on the moon?

The food is great but there's no atmosphere.LOLLOLLOLLOLLOL

gofish 04-06-2016 05:53 PM

Here's a joke
What do you call an old snowman?



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