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3rdGradeSafar 08-02-2016 07:24 AM

How personal do you get with your students?
Hi there! Newbie here, going to be teaching third grade.

Just one quick question, I am not married but do have a boyfriend of over 5 years. He plans to help out in my classroom during his free time, and during the first day of school the kids will get a worksheet where they try to guess some facts about me as bell work, then I'm making a getting to know me PowerPoint with the answers and pictures. The first question is, is your teacher married? Can I/should I say no but I do have a boyfriend. His name is Mr. --- and you'll be seeing him when he comes to help out in our classroom? Is that too much private info to tell the kids? How would parents respond to that?

KT_203 08-02-2016 08:48 AM

I usually just said that I wasn't married even though I had a serious boyfriend. He did come to some school events with me and I live close to the school I work at so we occasionally would run into kids/ families out and about so they definitely knew. I guess I just never really brought it up but it was out there. Once I got engaged I was more open about it. Just my personal thought.

Gogogo 08-02-2016 12:02 PM

Perfectly fine
No problem saying you have a boyfriend and having him work in the classroom -- but be prepared for the kids wanting to know when are you getting married, why aren't you married, and do you live together (your boyfriend needs to prepare for those questions too -- and lots of personal questions about you).

Those areas should stay private.

Betty4567 08-02-2016 01:05 PM

FYI in our district, all volunteers need to be fingerprinted and approved. Having another adult in the classroom requires another set of behavior expectations. I would wait until you know when he is coming to mention that he would be part of your classroom.

For the ppt. I would focus and your educational background: high school, extra curricular activities, summer jobs, college etc.. and then mention family and pets :)

I would switch the worksheet to focus on getting to know the kids. There are some very sneaky parents that will try to find out info about you (though Facebook and social media) and I keep my personal life private.

Oncidium 08-02-2016 01:39 PM

I was about to say that too Betty. Volunteers need to go through the whole criminal background check that all the people who work for the schools system have to. We can't get volunteers because people here are so poor the schools have to basically pick a few and check them through a "scholarship" so that we can have grandma book ladies. I would question whether you would be able to get the volunteer you want, or if it would be just a random assignment.

It is tragic that someone can't just volunteer at a school without greasing the palm of the local forces of whatever.

I agree also with KT. Sad to say, many relationships break up for petty reasons and if you have "several" boyfriends over a couple of year period, the more conservative squeaky wheels may see you as loose as a goose. I would only say anything if the relationship was going to become "legal."

And if you do live together, although that is financially prudent, and so on (who wants to live alone?) that will offend a whole new set of people.

I am not yet a teacher, but I have been asked countless times about my living arrangements, where I live, etc., and I tend to keep that information to myself.

Mshope 08-07-2016 08:32 AM

I Live Alone
Ha, Oncidium, I do live alone. I actually cannot live with anyone. (They wouldn't want to live with me. I don't like animals, I have insomnia, and I keep my house freezing even in winter!) I agree that even in 2016, some could be offended by people living together. Plus, it's just none of their business.

Like other posters, I would say I have a boyfriend and leave it like that. If your boyfriend is allowed in during school hours, introduce him. (Like other posters, volunteers in my school also have to be finger printers and have clearances, etc.) Kids will ask you a million personal questions, just move on.

I think it okay to share some details, but keep it professional. This is important, especially when you are new. My students know that I am unmarried and don't have kids. However, I still have to field a million questions. "Why aren't you married?" "Are you going out with Mr. Male Teacher?" "I bet you have ten cats!" They will ask or talk about anything sometimes to get out of work. Follow your intuition, if you feel like the question might be uncomfortable, switch it. My policy is always to err on the side of caution. I always think, "Will kids go home and twist this around." My other policy is to avoid problems that don't need to be problems. I probably wouldn't even say you are a new teacher. I would say, "This is my first year teaching here at ABC school." Use your student teaching as your "previous experience."

Have a good one. I'm sure you will have a great year.

Dafox92 08-09-2016 11:16 PM

Give some, but not everything
Students WILL find out you have a boyfriend. If you act like it's not a big deal they also will act like it's not a big deal. I had a picture of my boyfriend on something and they saw it and I was talking about something we did with another teacher so they asked and I was honest but I didn't outwardly tell them because I didn't think that was important for them to know. I do live with my boyfriend but I keep that private. I tell my students that I have a roommate instead.

Munchkins 08-10-2016 04:18 AM

You've been given good advice already. I agree that the focus should be on the kids, so maybe you can use yours as a model, with the same information they need to fill out about themselves. That would make a cute bulletin board for back to school- " Can you guess who I am?" They fill out information about themselves, maybe draw a picture, and put their name under a flap (or post it).

Have a great first day!!!

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