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learn 01-20-2021 04:00 PM

Hello PT,

I have 7 staff kids in my second grade class. Most of them are a piece of work except for one that is amazing! Questions:

1. How do I handle a teacher and her daughter that are drama all the time and try to keep the peace ?

2. How do I handle a student who cries hysterically to his mom about being on the behavior color yellow which is a warning but is an actual stinker in class? Even though she sounds supportive, and the kid plays her by acting like the "victim", what do I do to stop him from portraying the victim and not flipping out when I give him a warning in class which is almost daily.

3. How do I handle a not staff kid's parent who has insulted me in an email? Should I ignore it? This student is very low and lazy and his handwriting is horrible and his dad thinks I'm being too strict and demanding too much when I marked several words wrong in a spelling test because his "r" look like "v".

Thank you in advance.

msd2 01-20-2021 04:34 PM

1. Try your best from getting caught in the middle of it.

2. There is nothing you can do about how the child interacts with his mother. However, if he is getting a warning every single day, you need a different approach with this child because obviously being on a warning isn't changing behavior. Please don't take this to mean he doesn't need to learn how to behave differently in class, but your system isn't producing the desired results.

3. I think it depends on what the insult was. There is a big difference between saying you are a [insert swear word here] and saying you are strict or that he questions your judgement on how you address learning for his child.

My opinion is you should be careful about being upset about insults after you just insulted the student in this post by calling the child lazy. I've know far too many kids who were low and/or had terrible difficulties with handwriting. Avoidance is a typical behavior for both of these issues. Rarely does harsh grading tactics fix the issue. In most cases it exacerbates the problems. So, while I don't agree with the father insulting you, much depends on what he actually said.

hiker1 01-20-2021 06:52 PM

Number 1" Say to Drama Jr, "That sounds like a lot is going on. Why don't you write it all out in this notebook. When I have some time, (recess) you can read it to me and we can discuss what should be done."

Number 2 -"I know you're upset so you can go sit over there and calm down. If you would like you can write about it and tell me what made you so upset. I'm setting the timer. If you are calm by the time the timer goes off then I will move you back to green. If you are not ready that's ok. You can stay there as long as you need to but you will stay on yellow. Your choice.

Number 3- "Can you spell the word out loud? Ok It looks like you wrote a v an r. You need to fix it" Do that for every word in which he writes a sloppy r. "Now that you know how to write the r the correct way I expect you to do so. If it looks like a v I'm going to mark it wrong because you just showed me that you can make an r correctly."

TAOEP 01-20-2021 09:18 PM

I'm just going to react to the spelling comment. With a child who is struggling and has handwriting difficulties, I wouldn't mark a work wrong for an r that looked like a v. My reasoning is that it is highly unlikely that anyone would make a spelling error, substituting V for R. On the other hand, if I couldn't tell whether the letter was O or E or A--that one would be marked wrong. This kids needs some successes. It's very hard to go to school day after day and keep coming up short.

Is there any chance that this boy could get some OT help with handwriting?

Fenwick 01-23-2021 10:08 PM

Proactive vs. Reactive
2. My question, “What is the behavior(s) he is demonstrating that calls for a yellow?” From your thread it seems the main concern is what to do about punishment and his reaction? If so, this is reactionary management or a mind-set that says “What should happen to _____ for doing ____ ?” Shouldn’t the intervention lean towards proactive or preventing the problem in the first place so you won’t have to issue cards? The steps involved in prevention are almost always easier (less stress) than remediation and its side issues (like dealing with Mom). In other words, sit down and make a list of things you can do to prevent disruption - from seating to proximity to note on the desk to timer etc. You should come up with about ten or more. Then prioritize your list from “This one is critical and must come first” to “This one can wait”. Next, give yourself permission to fail when trying things for the first time. He didn’t get this way overnight and not likely to change in five minutes. Finally, I agree with msd2 regarding interventions not working. Whatever you decide you will know if it’s a good technique if it self-eliminates. Use it once or twice and behavior should start to recede until you don’t have to use it anymore.

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