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CZMOM 12-15-2012 10:01 PM

Family Christmas Party Question
 
DH and I have invited one of my nephews who is divorced and his 15 year old daughter, along with his 2 brothers, their wives and children to an early Christmas celebration next Sunday. The divorced nephew just emailed me and asked if he should bring his girlfriend and her children too. We have never met his girlfriend. My husband feels we should just keep this a family celebration. I do not know how to respond. I would like to meet her but don't feel this particular time would be a good time especially since we will be opening gifts. I would appreciate any help on how I can word my response to him. I can't seem to come up with a response.

Munchkins 12-15-2012 10:10 PM

How about telling him what you just said? You'd love to meet her, but this wouldn't be a good time, especially since you're opening gifts. You don't want to make things complicated by worrying about how her children will feel if they aren't included, and you don't want to feel obligated getting gifts for children you've never met. Maybe when you tell him no for this celebration, you can suggest an alternate day/time for her to come over for coffee to meet you.

BigBooks 12-15-2012 10:11 PM

Invite them too?
 
If I were you, I'd tell him they're welcome to come (but mention the gift issue...maybe they would like to bring a gift from home for the girls to open).

Jola 12-16-2012 05:44 AM

His decision
 
In our extended family, aunts, uncles, cousins, etc, they would be welcome. I feel like if the family member thinks enough of this girl to invite her to a get together with his family, then let her come. We all bring dishes, so the amount of food is never a problem. And, like pp said, mention the gifts so he could make sure they don't feel left out, especially if her children are young.

But that's MY family...go with what you are most comfortable with.

hand 12-16-2012 07:06 AM

I would invite her. In my family everyone is welcome. Just pick up a small token gift for the extra guests like lotions from Bath and Body works or small toys from the dollar store for the kids.

madelyneva 12-16-2012 08:38 AM

please consider
 
Please consider the following reasons to include them:

Your nephew cares enough about his girlfriend and her children to want include them.

Your nephew must think a lot of you and your family and he wants you to meet each other.

Maybe his girlfriend and her children have been through some stressful times and this gathering might be good for them.

If you don't offer your home and hospitality for the few hours of this early Christmas celebration... and they end up getting married..... you will be facing them in the future with the fact that they were not welcome in your home this one time...

I know it sometimes is hard to have plans changed, but sometimes oportunities for acts of kindness come at unexpected times<!--christmasA-->

TXlady 12-16-2012 01:36 PM

While i'm sure you'd like to meet her and her children, i tend to agree that christmas is not the time, especially with opening gifts. it could be an awkward situation. Maybe suggest new years or sometime shortly after? Going somewhere where a family is opening gifts and you're not included in the gift giving can be very uncomfortable. Thats why i don't go for christmas eve to my stepmother's family. Although they are nice people, i would just feel like an outsider and not part of the family when they are opening gifts and i would just be sitting there.


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