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AnonSPEDteach 10-23-2020 03:07 PM

Itís. Just. A. Job.
Hi. We are in full distance learning and needless to say, parents are all sorts of POíd about this. They are projecting all of their rage onto the teachers, making hurtful statements towards us and totally unnecessary accusatory comments.

Itís really getting me riled up but the more I think about it, the more I realize that this is just a more extreme version of how many parents are sans pandemic. Plenty of parents treat us like garbage (and yes some are really great, too) but itís burning a lot more right now. I always take this stuff super personally.

Iíve realized that I just have to start taking my emotions out of this job. I have to view it as a JOB and not the cornerstone of my being. We are told that teaching is a ďcallingĒ; sure it is, but it is also A JOB deserving of boundaries and working vs non working hours. Itís not a lifestyle, charity work, or martyrdom.

My hope is that I can learn how to be a teacher who does the job with integrity and to the best of my ability, while keeping my heart out of it. Iím DONE with feeling constantly disrespected by parents, admin, the general public. Maybe if I can separate my emotions, it wonít stress me out so much.

Suggestions appreciated.

HoHumBeachBum 10-23-2020 04:24 PM

Your title of this post is perfect. Re-read it and acknowledge that it's true.

There are various things I've learned here on the Vent board. I wrote them down so I can look back at them when I feel overwhelmed. I'm not sure who said each but they are quotes from what I've read here before......

**I care about enjoying my life and working as a teacher just provides me with sufficient financial resources and time to do so.

**There will always be a small minority that will never like you or your material, so stop worrying about it and try to get as many on board as possible.

**Work hard at keeping a balanced life and don't let those with hightened entitlement, wealth, and power suck you into their nasty web.

**I walk away not a failure but with my head held high knowing that I did my best in an impossibly difficult situation.

I apologize that I'm unable to give credit to those who wrote these. I hope they help you as they continually help me!

GreyhoundGirl 10-23-2020 06:26 PM

Iíve had the benefit (if you can look at it that way) of being royally screwed multiple times in my teaching career. I mean, screwed in ways you canít imagine.

Each time I got screwed it dimmed a little bit of my light. It also had the benefit of teaching me that this is a job.

I care about my students.

I also know that any of my coworkers are capable of stabbing me in the back just to watch me bleed. I know admin has favorites (and Iím never it). I know theyíll fire you at the drop of a hat for not reason. I know theyíll believe kids and parents over you all the tine. Every time. I know itís a job. So whatís best for you.

I know Iíve never put this in writing or put myself out there like this because not everyone will agree. Thatís ok. I wouldnít wish some of my experiences on my worst enemy. I might feel differently if I hadnít had the experiences that Iíve had.

ConnieWI 10-24-2020 03:54 AM

Speak Up Politely
I think you have to have a polite response when parents are "projecting all of their rage onto the teachers, making hurtful statements towards us and totally unnecessary accusatory comments."

You have to let them know you are not the person who made the decision to do full distance learning so they might want to contact the powers that be...administration, school board, etc. to express their opinion. If you let them get away with being disrespectful to you, you are supporting their poor behavior. You would not allow your children to treat you this way, so their is no reason for you to allow them to belittle you.

I believe that some parents are acting the way you've described, but I also think parents are realizing that supporting their child's learning is not easy. They finally realize that the things teachers have been telling them about their child for years (trouble staying focused, difficulty completing assigned tasks, difficulty keeping their body from wiggling, skills below grade level, etc.) are all true.

No parent I know wants to face the fact that the denial they have been believing for years is actually the truth and a barrier for their child. For some parents, virtual learning is a wake-up call that their child is below grade level, unfocused, and just plain lazy...and the parent should have believed the teacher years ago and not been in denial.

Tori58 10-24-2020 04:28 AM


My hope is that I can learn how to be a teacher who does the job with integrity and to the best of my ability, while keeping my heart out of it.
It's a good goal. I poured my heart and soul into teaching for 20 years but then teachers and schools became political footballs for politicians and teachers became punching bags for parents and students. At that point I realized I had to detach or burn out.

If I had it to do over again, I would never choose to be a teacher.

teenytiny 10-25-2020 11:46 AM

You are right
I agree with everything you said 100%. I think there are some teachers who still don't get it. I appreciate when I see someone like you, who understands this job and the toll it takes.

I think you have already figured out the answer- which is to separate your emotions. This is, of course, easier said than done, but I will reinforce and validate your feelings. You are completely right on with this. It is a job and we deserve to put boundaries in place for it.

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