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-   -   Other asked if this was my last year (http://www.proteacher.net/discussions/showthread.php?t=624072)

sodoneaugust 08-27-2019 06:04 PM

asked if this was my last year
 
by a friend who's a close friend of our superintendent who is not always professional.

I'm already feeling old and was moved. I am just so done but need 2 more years for retirement purposes. I love the kids. I love teaching. I do not like the stress which seems to get worse and worse every year. I am very hard on myself and not feeling confident...especially now. Bleh, bleh bleh.

NJ Teacher 08-27-2019 06:35 PM

Rude...
 
That was a rude question! My last few years, I was asked by different people how much longer I thought I would work, but not like that. You love the kids and like be teaching. There is no age limit on that. I hope you have a great year. The stress is real, but hopefully you will have a great class and rise above that. Good luck to you.

Beach Glass 08-27-2019 06:41 PM

I agree... RUDE!
 
My response would have been something like, And you need to know this because...?

subasaurus 08-27-2019 07:16 PM

ugh.
 
That is generally upsetting to hear.


Keep your head up no matter what. Don't let them get you down.



Hurtful people suck.

Peaches Pears 08-27-2019 08:06 PM

Ageism happens at both ends of your teaching career.

I was asked frequently. It did get annoying.
One, who I wouldn't trust as far as I could throw her, asked often.

Generally I would say something along the lines "Oh my goodness. I have at least 7 more years. I took time off when my kids were young and we still have kids at home and in university."
Sometimes I said "Seven more years. But if anything changes, don't worry, you will be the first to know." :rolleyes:

Basically they did not care or even listen to the answer.
I gave the same answer for at least 5 years. Nobody noticed my answer never changed.
Right up until the day I handed my retirement letter in I was telling folks "Seven more years." <!--giggle--><!--giggle-->

By coincidence I was out for lunch last week and little Miss When-Are-You-Retiring was sitting at the next table. I know she is clearly charting her plan for a principal appointment. I retired about 8 years ago so I think she would be approaching 48-50 years old by now.
I so wanted to go over and say "Hello. Great to see you. Is this your last year? You must be ready for retirement by now."

I didn't. I was mature. I have regretted it all week. :o<!--giggle-->:o

Ruby tunes 08-28-2019 09:22 AM

Peaches Pears
 
I'm pretty sure I would have given into the temptation to ask that "Is this your last year?" question of little Miss Busybody! That was a missed karma opportunity. <!--giggle-->
Plus, it would have been so much fun to see her reaction! LOL

Renea 08-28-2019 10:38 AM

If someone should ask you this question again simply reply, "Why do you ask?" Put it right back on them. Whatever their response, don't answer their question. It's rude so give yourself permission to walk away.

teachnkids 08-28-2019 11:29 AM

Don't let rude people get you down! Totally in appropriate question!

allier 08-28-2019 02:05 PM

retiring???
 
None of the person's business. I get asked frequently now, and I say "I have no idea" or "Maybe in a couple of years, I really don't know." These folks get sick of asking me.

Try to ignore, if possible.

sodoneaugust 08-28-2019 05:35 PM

I am wondering
 
if my superintendent asked her to feel me out. This teacher is also a friend/acquaintance of my family. I was recently moved from a grade to another grade and our class numbers are decreasing. It just kind of feels like ageism. I did blurt out...WHY do you want to know and I don't know if I really heard her answer.

Somewhat unrelated...This summer I went to purchase a gift card for someone who I was staying with. I knew they liked this restaurant/bar and I waited for them at the bar to come help me. Another patron came in and they served them! I was very p*ssed and wanted to walk out but didn't have time since I was leaving soon and needed the gift card.

Anyway. I think school wants me out. Because I'm old. Or because they don't feel I'm doing a good job or because it will save them money. I'm not really sure. And I'm making assumptions.

Tori58 08-29-2019 10:13 AM

Quote:

because it will save them money
This is usually what it's about. And they let you know in a variety of ways. That's why I didn't say a single word to anybody in my district until I turned in my letter. I didn't take off any days to go sit down with a retirement system consultant either - I did that online via Skype. I turned my letter in a full month before the date that our contract stated as our last day to inform administration and even so my super acted as though I was irresponsible to not say anything sooner. I just smiled and said it was a tough decision (it wasn't) while thinking something I'd best not say here.

mom23kids 08-29-2019 02:41 PM

perspective
 
I guess I'm in the minority. I don't really think it's rude (imo). I mean the ones that ask me know that I've been in the school a long time, they know I have college age and college graduate kids. I do get wondering if "Do I look old enough that I'm ready for retirement?" But I don't think people mean it that way. I really don't think anyone is doing it to be mean or rude. (again imo)
A couple of years ago a teacher retired in the middle of the year and when I was talking to her I said "oh , I'm so jealous" She got so offended!<!--eyebrow--> Of course I didn't mean it in a bad way just like I don't think people are being mean when they ask me when I'm going to retire.
BTW: I always say I have a few more years to go.

cutecat 08-29-2019 07:04 PM

I HATE when people ask me how many more years I will be teaching. I just turned 50 and have taught 28 years. I still love teaching and it is my passion. Why does my age have to define me? Most of the teachers I work with are twenty years younger than me and I know they see me as "old". Teaching at age 50 can be very isolating at times!!!

marguerite2 08-30-2019 11:58 AM

Is this your last year?

No, its my first. Every class is different so every year is a new beginning to me.

Angelo 08-30-2019 05:18 PM

Common
 
I've always thought that people's retirement plans were like people's finances. If they choose to bring them up, that's fine, but asking is pretty tacky, unless you have a close personal friendship in which you've reached the point where you can ask one another anything.

I've known a lot of people who ask because they are angling for a different position and want a sense of when one will open up. For example, I knew a teacher a few years ago who wanted to become a school librarian. A couple of opportunities were opening up at other schools, but they would have meant a longer commute. The librarian in our school had been there a long time and was in her early 60s. For the younger teacher, she was trying to calculate whether it was worth waiting it out at a school she liked or pursuing her preferred position at rougher schools that would be less convenient travel-wise. She eventually came out and asked the librarian if she had plans to retire, to which to librarian took great offense. As it turned out, however, the librarian WAS planning to retire but had told only one close friend who also happened to want the librarian position. The outgoing librarian wanted her friend to succeed her in the role and so told nobody else so the friend could quietly campaign and lobby administration without anyone else knowing the position was about to open up.

So... I get why some people ask. But I wouldn't do it myself no matter the reason because... like I say... tacky and presumptuous.


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