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ArtsyFartsyII ArtsyFartsyII is offline
Joined: Dec 2013
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ArtsyFartsyII's Avatar
Joined: Dec 2013
Posts: 492
Senior Member

Old 04-14-2015, 06:52 PM
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I substitute teach, and it's even harder to build rapport with students when you're not there every day. They really do like cracking jokes, but yes don't tell jokes at students' expense. I try to come up with really silly stuff, like...

I told 2nd graders that their teacher was going to be out the following day, and as much as I would love to come again, I was already scheduled to be at another school. I could chop myself in half and the other school could have the top half but then you'd have to talk to a leg all day and I don't think you'd learn anything from my smelly foot. And my top half wouldn't be able to walk, and chopping a person is kind of messy...

Middle schoolers tipping their chairs drives me crazy... I'll tell them that they need to keep all 4 chair legs on the floor... because you could fall but you're young, you bounce. Me, I walk by... la de la de la and whoops trip over the chair legs and fall and break a hip because I'm really old.

If kids come into the room and say "we have a SUB today??" I'll repeat in the same tone of voice, "We have to LEARN today??" Or I'll say, "Uh, this is Mr/Mrs <regular teacher>. I just had plastic surgery, so I look a little different now."

Or kids asking "Can I go to the bathroom?" I'll say "I hope you can because if you can't, there's a huge problem and you need to see a doctor about that." or "I don't know, can you? I mean, I don't help students go to the rest room, that's not on my job description." (of course they roll their eyes and say "MAY I..." lol)

If I have door duty, I'll welcome the kids into the school and say "HI!!! Welcome!! It's going to be a great day of learning today!" Some of them give a look like "uhhhhh ok" but they're amused all the same.

If I've had a class before, I'll tell them I missed them even if it's only been a day. Sometimes I'll tell them I missed them even though it's been less than a day. Sometimes their teacher will be in the room (but having a sub because they've got meetings and computer work or whatever) and I'll tell them their teacher is invisible today. Maybe I'll get in a "Don't tell your teacher that I said this... don't want to let it get to her head... but you have one of my favorite teachers at this school... she's such an amazing teacher." (it's especially funny if the teacher is engrossed in something and didn't hear it)

I told a class of 6th graders in a computer lab that they needed to work on their assignment and ONLY their assignment. I know ALL the tricks that kids do with switching windows, thinking I won't know that you're googling boy bands instead of typing your paper... but not only do I know ALL the tricks, but I could teach a CLASS on tricks... so... don't try me. <smile>.

Of course humor can make the kids get hyper, but it really does get them on "your" side.

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