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Loveandmercy Loveandmercy is offline
Joined: Apr 2015
Posts: 100
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Joined: Apr 2015
Posts: 100
Full Member
How to improve relationship with Assistant
Old 09-14-2018, 06:35 PM
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Hi everyone,

Thank you so much for taking the time to read this. I am brand new to this state and don't have friends yet so any input would be really appreciated. I'm at a new school in a full-time teaching job. I've been there less than a month. Back-to-School night went very well and parents seem to appreciate me. Other teacher who is my grade is super nice. Principal and Vice Principal seem happy as do the students. I've already bonded with the kids and I get hugged regularly. I really like this new school. I'm an experienced teacher and have had very positive experiences with assistants in my past school. A great assistant is SO helpful in a classroom. That is an understatement.

My new assistant in my new school has been there for many years. But I am feeling like I am getting steamrolled. I have said to her something like "thank you so much for showing me the procedure for centers - I think now I should begin them" and, well, she didn't let me...she went ahead the next day and started them. Did she forget? She makes the announcement that centers are starting and starts shouting instructions at the kids. I dont run my classroom this way. It is counterproductive. It was somewhat understandable my first two weeks that she would take over (because I didn't know how they were run) but now I totally understand how to do it and she needs to get out of the way and be the assistant. But it is as if she is the teacher (?) and i am getting steamrolled.

There have been times I am talking to the class and she will literally interrupt and talk right over me. Maybe she has a hearing issue? Although I appreciate her help showing me new stuff in the classroom how to run centers this doesn't mean I'm a beginner in the profession or that she should intervene and take control if I am simply approaching something in a slower, more deliberate manner. I feel she rushes the kids. I don't teach that way. It is ineffective. I feel she would rather tell a child the answer to get the paper filled out rather than having half the paper finished but it is actually coming from the student who persevered. The other teacher in my grade, who is a quite honorable sort and not prone to gossip, shared in a professional way that she has experienced this when this aide helps her each day, also. We didn't badmouth this aide to one another. She suggested I speak to her about it which I will on Monday which I had already decided to do.

Aide talks right over me when I talk to her one-on-one (before school when we are alone in the classroom) and also has a few times in class in front of students. (We are the same age, by the way. ) WHat do I say to her? Don't talk over me? I mean what is she thinking? Today I said to her "I feel like I have lost control of my class" and she was quite angry. (this was not a good thing for me to say I admit. I was frustrated) When I tried to explain what I meant (this is my first real attempt to address matters) There was a big pause with her giving me the big stare down and then she said "I'll talk to you about this later" in an angry voice. I am not used to this. I am a mellow teacher who has a history of getting along well with all types of personalities. I am an INFP in the Meyers Briggs test.

I guess this is a personality I have not yet run into in teaching profession. I wanted to talk to her before she left for the day. She bolted. I did get a text from her apologizing for getting mad. But then she said something like "we can reboot on monday" Maybe that was nice? I texted back. I said a brief apology, too (?) THen I said I think it would be helpful to talk.

I just feel very undermined by my new assistant and am looking for suggestions about how to say what I need to say. Any thoughts would be appreciated. Also, I have never had assistants who write comments to parents in the assignment books. I asked her to initial what comments she writes. Was that unreasonable request?

Thank you very much.

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