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disrespectful students and the "aide who knows best"

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Hailey18 Hailey18 is offline
 
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Hailey18
 
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disrespectful students and the "aide who knows best"
Old 10-19-2017, 01:47 PM
 
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I just started teaching in a new school, but I have been teaching for around 8 years now. I have a self-contained classroom with third through fifth graders, most of whom are 2-3 years below grade level. There are 3 aides who work in my room. One is a classroom aide and the other are one-on-one aides. One in particular has worked in this particular class for a few years now. She's seen quite a few teachers come and go since teachers don't stay in this setting for long (it's rather demanding and expectations are unclear). Because she's been around for a while, she tends to compare me to other teachers constantly. She'll make comments like "Well, Jimmy didn't do that when Ms. Smith was here." after a student has said something inappropriate. Or she'll say, "They were never that disrespectful before. I think you should do..."

She clearly wants me to do things differently. I know there are a few students who are very disrespectful, but part of the problem is I can't change that overnight. They're kind of like that by nature. I also think she just doesn't like my teaching style. I don't know what to do anymore. I am tired of the kids being disrespectful, but I feel like she's not helping by breathing down my neck. I don't know if I should just do what she suggests and keep her off my back or just do what I want to do.

Has anyone been in a similar position? Any good advice or suggestions? I'm getting frustrated...


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Teachercat2 Teachercat2 is offline
 
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I think...
Old 10-20-2017, 02:50 AM
 
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I have been in similar situations! Iíve never had an aide be so bold making comments like that, but have had ones that maybe take things upon themselves a bit too much.
Ultimately you are the teacher and when she makes a comment like, ďwell so and so never did that.Ē I would say,Ē thank you, but Iím not (teacherís name) and everyone does things differently.Ē Itís not her job in any way to critique your teaching style or performance. So I wouldnít give in to her or change because of her.
You can always let your aides know you are open to suggestions... but you decide whether or not you take them. Maybe you are showing her you are phased by her comments, try to just show calm and sheíll stop once sheís been with you longer.
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Haley23 Haley23 is offline
 
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Old 10-20-2017, 02:40 PM
 
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When I first started my current position, I had a para who'd been there for over 20 years. I was really nervous that she'd try to take over (I was a 4th year teacher when I started at my current school) and at first felt like I needed to "stand up for myself" with her. She'd tell me things other teachers did that worked. I know tone matters here...she was always really nice about it and would even sometimes say, "You're the teacher and you can set things up however you like, but ______ did this and it worked really well." She truly was just trying to help, and having been in the classroom for so long and having worked with so many sped teachers, she truly was a wealth of knowledge. I didn't take all of her suggestions as some just weren't my style, but I can tell you that a couple of the things she suggested really worked, and were things I wouldn't have come up with on my own. She's retired now and I really miss her!
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Hailey18 Hailey18 is offline
 
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Thanks!
Old 10-21-2017, 03:10 AM
 
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Iím trying to be open to suggestions yet not make it seem like sheís in control... sometimes itís so much harder working with the aides than with the kids!!!
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Hailey18 Hailey18 is offline
 
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Trying to stay open!
Old 10-21-2017, 03:15 AM
 
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I know what you mean, Haley23. I know she often means well and some of her suggestions are good. I donít think she really means to come off like that, but she always has that tone underneath. I should have told the story about the first time we met... I wonít explain the whole situation, but it ended with me saying, ďIím sorry, but it feels like you really donít like me.Ē She was almost hostile toward me at first. Maybe that feeling hasnít left even though we worked through that first day of awkwardness.


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