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learnforever learnforever is offline
 
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learnforever
 
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Need your wisdom
Old 11-01-2017, 08:13 PM
 
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Last edited by learnforever; 11-02-2017 at 07:51 AM..
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MKat MKat is online now
 
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Old 11-01-2017, 11:55 PM
 
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Are you retired too? Is there something specific you were supposed to be doing together those weekends? Do you spend time together other days of the week?

I guess I'm having trouble seeing the problem with him having some "me time" as long as you also have some "we time" at other times.
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ZipLine ZipLine is offline
 
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Old 11-02-2017, 05:39 AM
 
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I can tell you are hurt. Your DH has found an activity that he enjoys. It's understandable you feel lonely when he's doing things with the group but you do realize you are viewing him in negative terms.

Do you and your DH spend time doing things together or is his sole attention to this group? If he doesn't spend time with you but bends over backwards to accommodate the group, I could see that as a reason to be angry with him. If you've waited in the wings as this man has had his career and loved all the attention he's received, have you told him your feelings about spending time with you? He may not be aware he's self-absorbed because people who are don't come to that realization on their own.

Do you have friends and activities you are involved in that don't include DH? If you don't, it's time to find things you enjoy and do without DH. I think couples need to have activities that are joint and separate. It gives balance and if one loses their spouse, they have a network and activities to help them deal with some of the loneliness. Couples need to maintain their individuality.

When your DH is busy with the group the first couple weeks in December, is he just busy during the day and home in the evening or is he going away with them? I think it's great you are thinking of using some of the time to visit family. Could you find some other things you'd like to do? Maybe you can find some holiday fairs, bake cookies for the holidays or nursing homes, take a craft glass, join a gym, reach out to some teacher friends, volunteer your time, etc..

It seems you have a lot of anger towards him. Are these two weeks the only thing? If so and otherwise things are good and you are happy, that's good.

I do think you need to take control of your own time and enjoy life. If it means doing your own thing, do it. Life waits for no one.

Best to you.

Last edited by ZipLine; 11-02-2017 at 06:20 AM.. Reason: Wording error.
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learnforever learnforever is offline
 
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Thanks
Old 11-02-2017, 07:52 AM
 
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Thanks for the above advice
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