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Angelo Angelo is offline
 
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Angelo
 
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It's YOUR meeting
Old 10-31-2017, 10:54 AM
 
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Okay, isnt it common sense not to schedule a meeting with someone unless you have something important to ask or say?

If I request a meeting with a parent, I come prepared with specific concerns and questions.

So whats up with parents who request a meeting and then expect the teacher to lead the meeting and do the talking? YOU REQUESTED THE MEETING. You ask the questions or tell me what you need to tell me.

Too many times Ive sent home a detailed e-mail or report in which Ive said everything I need to say. The parent responds, Is it possible to meet with you to discuss this? Then the parent sits back and seems to expect me to say something. I said what I wanted to say. In the email. If something wasnt clear about it, by all means, ask.

Or the parent keeps lobbing the ball back in my court with vague statements that dont say much. Were very concerned about this. Or We just dont understand. Or Wed like to nip this problem in the bud. Ummmm... great. And your question is...?

As I see it, parents in these weird meetings either want to put me on notice with their body language that they are not happy and somehow blame me for that OR they think Im sitting on some magical solution that will fix their kid but that Im holding out for a face-to-face meeting to share it with them.

You say hes not doing his work or studying. Were very concerned. Again... your question is...?

The other one that gets me is, Why werent we informed sooner? Ummmm... thats what an email is... information. Thats what a progress report is... information. Its October. Id be inclined to sarcasm and ask if they want daily, text message updates, but I suspect some would miss the sarcasm and light right up. Oh really? Daily text messages? Could you do that? That would be great, thanks!


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waste of time
Old 10-31-2017, 01:22 PM
 
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It's unfortunate that people like to waste time including yours. So even if you had given them all the heads up and communicated fully, attend that meeting anyways and take charge. Just go over the e-mails again by always saying "as I have mentioned in a notice..." until they have something to say. You should totally keep the meeting to a maximum of fifteen minutes.
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Old 10-31-2017, 01:58 PM
 
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I will say it was nice today coming into a parent meeting, that they called, that they led. Wow! I was the lucky one, Sorry Angelo Very rare and very nice for my first grownup meeting in middle school (I came from elementary). I wish they all were like that.
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MKat MKat is offline
 
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Old 10-31-2017, 02:04 PM
 
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Here's the reality---- They are upset about getting what they perceive to be bad news and want to meet with you in hopes to hear glowing compliments about their child. They think by coming in and looking you in the eye that the written report will somehow disappear and be replaced with something that makes them happier - not that they can tell you what would make them happier!
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They want you to splain yourself
Old 10-31-2017, 04:07 PM
 
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Justify yourself. Tell them what you're going to do to fix their kid. We should have a # ... like
#teachersplain


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Old 10-31-2017, 04:53 PM
 
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MKat, you hit that on the head.
Trunch,
Quote:
#teachersplain


I had my AP do that to me. I mean, seriously, you need to waste my time calling a meeting when you don't have any questions about the information I gave you??? I guess he has to justify his paycheck somehow.
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Parents
Old 11-01-2017, 09:38 PM
 
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The parents you describe are engaging in classic passive aggressive behavior. I would sit there in silence waiting for them to speak first. Then, after prolonged silence, I'd smile politely and remind them they called the meeting. More silence. I'd keep throwing the ball back in their court, all the while killing them with politeness. Then, a glance at my watch and an "Oops! I have an appointment! I have to run! Thanks for stopping by!"

And away I'd fly!
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Proof
Old 11-02-2017, 02:20 AM
 
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I think they're just trying to prove they're involved, so you don't think it's their fault their kid is slacking off.

Read a part of your e-mail out loud, then ask if they have an idea they wanted to run by you or were looking for suggestions of what they can do to help their kid.
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Happened to me too
Old 11-02-2017, 04:39 AM
 
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This has happened to me too. I ended up leading the first meeting with the parents. When they called the second one, I came in with my documentation, sat down and said, "Hi there. So, what brings you in?" They started to defer and I just looked at them for a bit. After that I asked again, "What brings you in? What are we meeting about?" Probably not my best moment and I tried really hard to keep the ragged edged tone from my voice, but I feel the same as you Angelo. If they call the meeting, they lead the meeting.

I'm sure this will not be your first parent requested meeting with these people. I wish you luck and much patience
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Summerwillcom Summerwillcom is offline
 
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You have some PITA parents...
Old 11-05-2017, 10:58 AM
 
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What part don't you understand? If they can't answer that, they tend to leave me alone after that! I hate that question when it is phony.
When I hear "nip it in the bud," I no longer get excited. These parents often mean they want you to give their child better grades or overlook their kid's behavior from my experience. They want to nip the problem (as they see it, the teacher) in the bud. If they really wanted to nip it in the bud, they'd be talking to their kid instead of you! For those "very concerned ones", can you ask them what they are doing to let their kids know of their concern about the unacceptable lack of studying? This may seem crazy to you, but in the past, I have known many elementary teachers who have been told by admin to do daily reports for certain kids. I have even had to do it before w/ a problem kid!


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