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Creeps
Old 11-05-2017, 06:52 AM
 
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Yesterday I was waiting for the library to open, minding my own business. This moderately scruffy guy comes up to my window, so I rolled down an inch. My door was locked of course. He asked what time it was.
I told him: 8:56.
He says: Oh. 8:56.

Yeah. He acts like he's trying to comprehend that or waiting for me to start a conversation. Ew.

He wasn't waiting for the library to open because he drove off. I grew up here, never had this happen until lately. Men think a woman by herself wants a conversation!! Actually I'm fine here with my book/computer/own thoughts.
This happened at a gas station as I was checking my oil. This guy came over, asked if I needed help in said no. That should have been that.

He stood there and stared into my engine, and I told him again that I needed no help that I've been checking engine oil for 40 years unassisted.
He didn't even hear me, he says something about cars being made of plastic these days. I looked over and a twenty something was watching to make sure he moved along. I was considering a concealed carry license.

Why all of a sudden do creepy old guys think it's ok to get in my business? I refuse to be an agoraphobe. Next time I'm going to tell them: No I'm fine go away my thirty year old bodybuilder boyfriend is in the restroom. Better run.


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Old 11-05-2017, 09:23 AM
 
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I haven't noticed a rise in creeps since I've been older and don't usually feel threatened.

I do think people are often more willing to talk to older people because we seem less threatening and quite frankly we're often willing to talk. That may be because we aren't in such a hurry now that we've retired. I notice I talk a lot more to store clerks and people in line!

I also notice that some restaurant help are more attentive and friendly. I've decided to just accept the "honeys" and "sweethearts". I think they mean it in the best way-I probably remind them of their grandmothers.

I can't check my own oil. My dealership is exceptionally kind and patient with me when we talk about my car. My even more elderly than me neighbor was widowed and had never (and I mean never!) pumped her own gas. I showed her how and how to use her credit card at the pump. She's not very good at it. She has depended on the kindness of many male strangers when she has struggled at the pump. She remarks on how sweet people (mostly men) are when she has asked for help.

Perhaps the guy at the library had to use the bathroom. Many people who live out of their car in my area use the library for many things. It's a safe place. Perhaps he couldn't wait and headed for McDonald's.
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Old 11-05-2017, 09:56 AM
 
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I don't usually feel threatened either. I just meant that I need to be more careful. Where I live... putting up your car hood is going to get attention but usually when you say no I'm ok, they don't just come on over and get close to you.

Of course I hope for the best but it was inappropriate for these people to hang around the way they did. I have a pretty good radar and my red flags went up. I'm often approached by nice people in appropriate ways. I love that.

Trust me I was correct in keeping my distance.
I don't understand how is approaching a strange woman in her car going to help if you have to use the bathroom? There was a McDonalds literally fifty yards away.

My point was...I felt vulnerable in a way I didn't when younger. It is not appropriate to come up to a person in a car alone and expect them to roll down their window to tell you the time and then stand there.

In the other case, random other men noticed and were looking out for me. So...it was obvious to them, too. I've always checked my oil while fueling up, it's just what we do. I just won't do it in public anymore.

I do live in an area where you do have to be careful.

Last edited by blueskies96; 11-05-2017 at 10:12 AM..
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Old 11-05-2017, 10:15 AM
 
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I've thought about your response...I have to say, no, I do not give strangers the benefit of the doubt if they are within a foot of me, and there is no reason for them to be. Period. I don't care what their reason is. Perhaps where you live is safer than the national average.
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Old 11-05-2017, 10:22 AM
 
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I went back and read more carefully and I realize we live in very different neighborhoods. We would never, I mean never, let anyone rely on strangers assistance pumping gas, elderly are victimized every day in our city, I can't imagine letting a stranger anywhere near my car or car keys or wallet.....scary


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There always have been creeps
Old 11-05-2017, 12:43 PM
 
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and there always will be, unfortunately. And they do prey on the weak and elderly that they assume are weak.

I guess the trick is to stay strong and think about safety 100% of the time. I agree that staying home is NOT the answer.
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Old 11-05-2017, 02:25 PM
 
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I think we women should listen to our inner voice when our antenna goes up to a possible threatening situation. I am not easily intimidated or fearful but I can see reasons why anyone would want to be cautious in both those situations depending on their surroundings at the time. The men could have been totally harmless but it's always better to be safe than sorry.
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Old 11-05-2017, 07:45 PM
 
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I was just relating something that's happened to me personally, and I've never really had this before. Our town has a problem. When an adult male comes up close to me for no reason and isn't friendly there is something wrong. These people weren't being friendly...sigh I think my point was lost. Nevermind.
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Old 11-09-2017, 06:49 PM
 
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Your instincts were quite likely correct. You might read Malcolm Gladwell's book Blink as a source for confirmation of combining unconscious clues with experience to draw conclusions quickly.
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Old 11-10-2017, 10:06 AM
 
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I've read it!

I looked at the town sex offender registry and he's on the list. So I let the police department know he's approaching women. They appreciated the info and I'm not the first to report him.

I have to do my civic duty I guess.


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