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death of my third grade student's mom (unexpectedly)

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death of my third grade student's mom (unexpectedly)
Old 02-09-2018, 11:45 AM
 
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If anyone has had this experience or has read anything about some good ideas to help this 8 year old boy that would be fantastic. The child's mom did everything for him. Dad had the 'life'......bowling, having fun with friends, etc., The child has been a behavior concern every year and now I'm worrying about him on so many levels. Do you have any ideas that helped a student in this position or any ideas you might try? Thank you in advance.


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This is a difficult situation
Old 02-09-2018, 06:46 PM
 
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I had a male student lose his dad unexpectedly years ago when I taught fourth grade. He was a good student who had good behavior.

I met with his Mom to talk about how she wanted me to handle issues at school. This communication really helped me, my student and his family.

I gave him extra time to complete assignments. If his mind wondered in class he finished it as homework. This may not work well for all students. Maybe you could grade what he gets done or just ask him to do every other question or problem. The gift of extra time seems logical to me.

He bombed a couple of assignments the week he returned to school. I tossed them so his average would not be ruined.

Our counselor met with him and his sister a few times to talk. They were also seeing a private counselor outside of school.

The school counselor also talked to my class to let them know what happened and asked them to be very kind to this student when he returned to class. We decided that they should not say anything about his loss unless he did so first. That way if he did not want to think about his father's death while at school he was not forced to. He did not talk about his dad much.

He had a code word that he was allowed to use if he just needed to get out of the room and walk up to drinking fountain by the gym. I thought he might need to cry and he would not want his friends to see him. He was trustworthy though and I could trust him to return and not take advantage of this opportunity. He only used it a few times. He returned to class in a timely manner each time.

I wish you the best. I am so sorry your student lost his mom. I hope he gets all the support he needs at this difficult time.
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Old 02-09-2018, 08:41 PM
 
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My sister-in-law died unexpectedly in December, and left two young boys without a mommy. Not only was she a mom who was there, she homeschooled her boys. They have struggled. However, my brother didn't live the life - her death has been super hard!

Here's what I have done as an aunt (I am super close to my nephews):

1. Answer questions honestly about death (My 5 year nephew thinks he can die and visit mom, and come back). :-(.
2. Share positive memories of my sister-in-law (We bumped heads, but she was an awesome mom!!).
3. Helped my brother keep their routine as normal.
4. Referred them for services, if needed.
5. Found super fun lesson plans. (My brother is now homeschooling. Imagine a super buff man, asking for kindergarten lesson plans. :-). ).
6. Found kid-friendly books on grief.
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Student grieving
Old 02-10-2018, 06:46 AM
 
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I had a student who was with his mom at home when she unexpectedly died. He was in 2nd grade and somehow had his wits about him to call 911. His parents were separated and he was an only child. Dad hadn't really been in the picture. He came back to school for only a few days before moving away to live with his dad. He appreciated knowing that anything he needed would be taken care of at school.

I also remember students (sisters) in my sons' classes, 2nd and 4th, who lost their mom to breast cancer. They lived with their mom's fight and final passing. The entire school seemed to come together to support them. They were great kids.

The previous posters have very good suggestions. The student needs to know that you care and are there for them. Support is so important at this time. Any other resources at school should be taken advantage of. Communication with the family assists everyone to keep the student on track emotionally.

You and the child will be in my prayers. Compassion and time will be the key. All the best.
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Loss of a parent
Old 02-11-2018, 12:21 PM
 
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Thank you so much for your kind bd words and prayers. I appreciate you taking the time to respond. Iíll take your advice and get back to you on how he does.


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Old 03-29-2018, 02:39 PM
 
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I had a young man who came to school the day after mom's funeral. He had previously told me that mom loved alcohol more than him. ( I subbed for this kid a lot) dad is long gone, and this kid and his four brothers are being cared for by the oldest brother now in his 20s. I do not know how it's working out, but I doubt it will turn out well for anyone. But they day he came back the staff made sure the family had meals, he was dispondant so I let him nap, and he appreciated it. As a substitute I couldn't do much. Compassion and understanding. Ask the councelor for specifics. I know it's been a month, hope it's going well.
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