I called a friend after work today to see how she and her husband were doing closing out her MIL's estate. After a couple minutes she asked how I was doing and I told her honestly just how fragile my mental health has been.
She launched into her "its all a spiritual condition, so have you prayed about it?" speech.
I got really quiet because I didn't feel like cussing anyone out today. And finally just asked her if she would tell an asthmatic to not use their inhaler because that basically what she just told me to do?
She immediately started talking about depression being just a spiritual condition and not a real medical thing. That im being foolish to take psych meds. You know, the normal response for a person to give.
We haven't been friends for too long, about 6 months ths before the world shut down really. I thought I knew her enough to be able to trust her, but I guess not.
I guess I know to not trust her with the deep things now.
Oh, and this was all after my GP's nurse called me and said my GP won't do a referral until she can do an evaluation on me... because I guess an unmedicated mental health patient who has been steady for 3.5 years suddenly tells you that they are restarting therapy and struggling with daily functioning (like forgetting to shower for almost a week) can't be trusted to say "I need a doctor for my mind, and I need it quickly" isn't good enough. I know she just wants to make sure I am not in crisis and needing inpatient services, but 2 weeks is too long to wait for an evaluation if you think I possibly need IP services.
She has afternoon appointments, but isn't doing them for anyone who isn't physically sick for the next two weeks - so I can waste a half day PTO in the morning so I can do a couple screeners in person or she may find 15 minutes to do a telemetry appointment with me on my lunch break or after school.
I'm tired. Im anxious. I'm depressed. I'm shopping to self medicate. I have bipolar with mixed states and im not sleeping more than 5 hours a night right now. Im headed to a mixed state crash if I dont get a stabilizer and antidepressant quickly.
The only way I've ever gotten in quickly with a psych is with a doctor referral or therapist referral. It still takes a couple weeks. If I have to wait 2 for an evaluation and then 2 for a psych appointment, that's too long. Im a fast responder to meds. I usually respond in a matter of days - not weeks as I respond well to sub therapeutic doses long term. A therapeutic dose for a few weeks and then a taper down usually helps me a lot.
Oh Zephie! I’m so sorry that your friend treated you that way.
I’m glad you know what you need and you’re advocating for yourself, hang in there and keep at it. Give those kitties cuddles. I think they are a mood lifter in any situation.
You have a lot on your plate. I can't believe you have to wait 2 weeks after you told your GP you're in a fragile state. What would happen if you went to urgent care? I'm so sorry you're going through this.
It doesn't sound like a waste of PTO to me. It seems like it's what you need for your mental and emotional health. I hope you're going to go to the in person screenings. You know you need help. Take the opportunity and get it. You've told us you don't think you can wait two weeks.
If you need help right now, please go to the ER. We care about you.
An ER or urgent care visit would prompt a whole chain of events i dont care to start.
Best case: be sent home and told to call me GP for a psych referral
Worst case: 72 hour hold
Either way its 5 times as much money to go the ER route as my doctor copay. Copay would be the same as a dr visit at urgent care, but I'd most likely be transfered to the ER with a psych complaint.
Waste of PTO would be because the stress of prepping for a sub who pro ably wouldn't bother to show up for a 15 minute appt. is emotionally more taxing than its worth.
I'm on that precipice right now between barely doing it and sliding down the bipolar hill.
A combo diagnosis of bipolar and multiple anxiety disorders is a mess.
So ready to see the therapist in less than 48 hours. I can make it there and hopefully unload these emotions.
I understand your frustration concerning not being able to get a referral without waiting two weeks for an appointment. My doctor does tele-appointments now and its still hard to get an appointment. It's even harder to get her to call back concerning tests she ordered when the results come in.
As for your friend, I'm sure she thinks she is giving you good advice. I'm sorry that she doesn't understand. I can tell you that some mental health problems are really spiritual, BUT, I cannot tell you that all of them are. Sometimes we need medication or other intervention. Other times the medication is causing the problem in the first place. You do what you need to do spiritually, and do what you have to do medically. It's nobody else's business. Sometimes we tell people too much, and they just don't understand. Then we feel grief when they don't. It's not worth it.
I'm really sorry for your friend's reaction and everything you are going through. FWIW, I am a devout Catholic and struggle with depression, anxiety, and PTSD. While I'm doing well right now (knock on wood), and while I love my faith, my doing well or not doing well has nothing to do with my faith or prayer life. I couldn't get to where I am without meds.
I hate to give advice if this is just a vent, but here are some thoughts for you. If you aren't looking for advice or already tried these things, feel free to just ignore it.
*You mentioned you can get a referral to a psych with a referral from your GP or your therapist. If your GP won't refer until you meet with your GP and your GP can't get you in soon enough, can your therapist make a referral sooner?
*Would you be seeing a new psych or someone you saw in the past? I'm wondering if you can make an appointment with a past psych explaining what happened. Maybe call to make an appointment and ask to speak to the psych or one of his/her nurses. Explain the situation and see if they can get you in. I know my psych has said multiple times that if things get bad again, I am more than welcome to call her office any time and talk to her on the phone and she can make a determination to up my meds that way.
*Have you thought about going to urgent care? Maybe that's bad advice because I'm sure you aren't at the point where you need in patient treatment and you don't want them to think you do need it, but with in patient, you can see a doctor that same day. Obviously there's a wait in the waiting room, but it's not like you are waiting for days on end. I've noticed depression screeners on the desk inside the examine room when I've gone to urgent care in the past.
*Lastly, from what you said. I'm worried about you. I know you have a very stressful year, and with the stress of your particular class, school situation, COVID, and with you going through this, that's a lot to take on. I worry about how you will feel as you wait for that appointment to get the referral and then the referral appointment itself. Have you thought about taking FMLA or taking some sick days to get your mental health better? I just worry about with all the stress of COVID and teaching that it will get worse not better and I worry about that what that means for your health.
I am right there with you. The system is totally broken. And some Christian denominations are still caught up in that all mental illness is a spiritual condition, demon possession, our fault and on and on. They, as well as our society will not understand and changes will not take place until people realize that mental illnesses are no different than physical illnesses like diabetes, epilepsy and cancer.
I wish I could say everything will be fine. But that’s not what you need to hear, I know. Please hold on to the idea that there are friends here on PT that will sit with you in the dark until the doc appointments and insurance all kick in.
I'm so sorry that our country is so broken when it comes to mental health. I know sub plans are a pain in the butt but leave busy work....your mental health and physical well being are more important than anything else. Let your students do busy work and take anything they can give you to start.
As for your "friend", that is not a true friend. A true friend will be there to problem solve no matter their faith. They may ask you to pray with them but you can't "pray this away'.
Of course, depression and other things we struggle with mentally like bipolar are not spiritual. Your friend is woefully misinformed.
A thought about a referral: Do you have a gynecologist? When I was first really struggling with depression, it was my gynecologist that diagnosed it, helped me sort it out and prescribed my first round of meds. If your gp isn't available soon enough, maybe your gynecologist can help sooner.
I'm currently texting back and forth with my best friend - and I do have 3 other awesome women in my corner other than her. All 4 have either dealt with mental illness, have a spouse or child who deal with mental illness, or have worked in the mental health field. My best friend falls in all 3 categories. Even though I havent been under psych care lately, we have a safety plan in place and she can override me at any time if she feels I am a danger to myself. Ive got some pretty frequent check ins going on right now and I know they will call my butt on the carpet if I truly need it.
I'm just so frustrated with how getting help goes.
On the psych issue. One if my old psychs I will never see again (bad patient relationship with her), one died, and one only works IP now. Going back to any of them will not be possible.
I’m sorry. What a mess. I wish I could help. I’m thinking of you and hoping that you continue to find enough light in each day to get you through. I know this is hard. Hugs!
Please take care of yourself and put it for a sub. Believe me, I know what a pita it is to do sub plans and how it doesn't feel worth it, but it is. If this wete your friend in your situation, I am sure you would tell her to put in for a sub. I am sure some PTers who teach the same grade could give you some resources or some links to free TPT assignments.
I’m thinking about you and sending positive thoughts! I’m so sorry that the medical system is so full of red tape!
Take the PTO — or could someone cover your class if they could fit in telehealth visit for you? Do whatever you have to do for you! You are the most important thing in this situation!
You are strong and have great plans in place! Hang in there!
Can you make the psych appointment before you have the doctor referral?
You could see you doctor in two weeks...long time to wait I know...and then have the psych appointment already made so you don't need to make the appointment after the referral. If you doctor does not give you a referral, you can cancel the appointment with the psych.
I have never had to get a referral from a doctor so I could see another professional so my lack of experience probably shows in the question I asked above.
Honestly, if I was just dealing with depression/anxiety I could be evaluated and treated by a GP or GYN. Because I have the added diagnoses of bipolar and PTSD, no one without a specialty in psych will medicate me - nor should they. Too many messed up potential issues with uncontrolled spirals up or down without specialized attention.
Getting a psych appointment by yourself without a referral vs with a referral can be a difference of 1-3 months waiting time. Because ill have to reestablish with a doc, my first appointment will take over an hour. Subsequent appointments will be considerably shorter for med adjustments.
Last time I got an appointment with a referral - 3 weeks xompaired to the 2.5 months without a referral. (And technically I had the doctor i worked for call in a favor for me to get that appointment.)
Technically I can go to any specialist without a referral, but its easier to go through my GP or her NP
What I was trying to say about the gynecologist, but didn't make it clear, was that maybe your gynecologist could make the referral in place of your gp so that you could get in to the psych more quickly.
I hope something happens for you soon. It is horrible to suffer.
((Hugs)) Can you email the descriptive part of your post to your GP? It would be quick to read and give GP a sense of where you are and make it clear that the referral is really what you need ASAP.
Man, the folks who turn mental health stuff into a spiritual thing bug the living daylights out of me. I like Jesus a lot. I also like the scientists he blessed with the talent to create/understand meds and the doctors who can prescribe them. I can love Jesus and need Xanax at the same time.
I'm holding you in my thoughts and praying for relief for you soon.
Zephie, I'm so sorry that you are in crisis now without the resources you need to get out of it.
Do you have any other doctor you have an established relationship with who might make the referral for you? A GYN, an allergist, someone you saw once or twice for a particular problem.
It doesn't make sense for your GP to insist on seeing you first--unless the GP is willing to see you today or tomorrow. And you can tell her nurse that--and ask to talk with the doctor directly.
If you have to take half a day off to see your doctor, do it. This is extremely important.
Does your school district have an EAP (employee assistance program)? If so, you can call them confidentially (I think) and ask for guidance with your situation.
I saw you later post that your previous psychs are not options for various reasons--but the one who is only working IP (does that mean inpatient?)--might you be able to reach that person to ask for a referral?
As far as the friend you talked to today, she clearly has no understanding about mental health issues. Nothing wrong with praying about your issues, AND see a doctor. I'm glad that you have friends who are more knowledgeable, more understanding, and much more supportive.
I love the way you are being persistent in advocating for what you know you need. You clearly got the attention of the PT community. Now to get the attention of a doctor who will pay attention and help.
Mental health concerns are NOT a spiritual condition, whatever the actual hell that means. Mental health concerns are legitimate diagnoses that deserve proper treat like any other health concern.
You deserve the respect and support of someone empathizing with you, not launching into an opinionated diatribe that basically criticized you for your openness.
I’m sorry you are dealing with all of this. I do think taking the time off would be the best opinion to get what you need as expeditiously as possible.
(Hug) Please remember your PT colleagues are great support, excellent listeners, & well meaning friends if you need us!
Know that I am thinking of you, and am concerned for you. I’m glad you had your 3 friends at a safety net. Do whatever you need to do to feel better. Please keep us updated. (((Hugs)))
So very sorry your friend let you down like that. I'm thinking of you and hoping you are able to get the help you need sooner rather than later. I'm so glad you have the group of friends to count on to support you. Please keep us posted and know that PT is here for you!
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01-05-2021, 05:31 PM
I’m so sorry that your friend treated you that way. 
