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A meme I saw yesterday
Old 08-28-2019, 03:23 AM
  #1

Someone I know posted something on Facebook yesterday about how "we are not responsible for the programming we received in childhood but as an adult we are responsible 100% for fixing it."

I have to be honest it didn't sit well with me. As a child, we obviously don't really have the tools to always diagnose what is wrong with us and how to change it. Plus, there are circumstances that are not under our control such as living under the roof of a parent who talks to you like you're garbage. Once we're finally free from the situation, I don't think it's fair to say "well now this is your problem."

Don't get me wrong-there are things that we can do to help ourselves. But carrying around trauma in the form of depression/anxiety etc is almost the equivalent to having a 50lb weight around your neck and everyone else saying "well I guess it's your problem." Surely we can be more supportive of one another than this?



Last edited by Violet4; 08-28-2019 at 04:33 AM..
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Old 08-28-2019, 03:57 AM
  #2

Hmmm, I get where it is going, but it is so much more complex to that. We are all a product of our childhood and various experiences we have had. Some people struggle with mental illness to one degree or another, and others don't. Obviously those things have a major impact on us.

But, I do believe we are responsible for doing what we can to be emotionally healthy. We can't always play the blame game. There are reasons why people act the way they do, but I don't think that gives us permission to not try to work on issues or treat others in hurtful ways.

I think what bothers me in this quote is the "100% for fixing it" part. That's unrealistic. Everyone has struggles and issues and we aren't going to be completely "fixed", and that's okay.

I do think there's a balance of being loving and being supportive of others, but people also needing to take some personal responsibility for their emotional/mental health.
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Old 08-28-2019, 04:35 AM
  #3

I agree 100%. I actually had chickened out for a second and was about to delete my post but what you said summed up how I feel.
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Old 08-28-2019, 04:50 AM
  #4

Try looking at it from a different angle.....it is solely on us, 100%, to fix things the best we can. Not saying you need to fix it 100%, but really who else is responsible for you as an adult? And if fixing it means knowing you need outside help or medication that's ok.

Does that make sense?

Last edited by teachnkids; 08-28-2019 at 05:43 AM.. Reason: Added something
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Old 08-28-2019, 06:45 AM
  #5

I have found that counseling, energy healing sessions (Reiki), and materials from Louise Hay to be helpful in healing from childhood trauma. I grew up with a parent who lived with with PTSD from a war. I have found that the relationships in my everyday life can be a trigger for what still needs to be healed-bosses, coworkers, friends, family. It can be cyclical.

https://www.healyourlife.com/love-your-inner-child

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=evjFiLxnXN4

There are others who write about the Inner Child.

I wish you healing!


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A little bit of follow up
Old 08-28-2019, 09:07 AM
  #6

What everyone has said here has been very helpful. JanetL I think I will take a look at those resources thank you so much
Maybe this is a sensitive spot for me because I do try to help myself and work through my feelings. Maybe some people don't try to help themselves but I'm not one of them. I feel as though there's almost a very callous approach to people with mental health struggles just assuming they're suffering because they don't help themselves which isn't always the case.

I don't expect anyone to fix me I just think I want to be loved and accepted even when I'm dealing with a lot. There are definitely some people who do this for me but you know the worst part of struggling with any form of mental illness are times when you feel alone.
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Old 08-28-2019, 09:41 AM
  #7

((((((HUGS))))))

Just remember when it's hard...1 day at a time, or if need be 1 hour at a time!!

I feel out society as a whole needs to do lots more to make mental health supports available and accessable for all! I do firmly believe that you have to want help or no amount of intervention will help. (Not referring to you)

Hang in there!
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Old 08-28-2019, 05:08 PM
  #8

Interesting you would bring this up because I have seen similar comments and do tend to agree with you. While sometimes it can be fixed, it usually takes a competent counselor and in some cases a doctor and medication. Many things can leave us with PTSD, depression, moderate to severe anxiety and the like. Clinical depression, OCD, some other forms of anxiety, bipolar, schizophrenia and other mental illnesses can be inherited. Personality disorders often stem from a traumatic childhood and those also need a lot of professional help to overcome.

Nancy
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