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Everyone is afraid to be firm with kids
Old 09-22-2019, 09:36 AM
 
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My title is kind of self-explanatory. Is anyone else tired of being made to feel like some kind of bad guy if you tell a kid no or what they are doing is wrong? I'm talking about in matters of extreme disrespect and defiance.


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Old 09-22-2019, 09:51 AM
 
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It is the new protocol. No... is now cruel. Correcting behavior is the new abuse. Being firm is picking on their child. When I began school in 61 they paddled you for being bad. And the parents would be angry and embarrassed and would make you APOLOGIZE to the teacher and you probably got more of the same at home..........child abuse???? Child abuse is enabling them, letting their electronics raise them and entertain them all hours of the day and always taking their side in school conflicts. I tell people I witnessed the results of REAL child abuse during , my four decades of teaching. Children that NEVER smiled. Had lifeless eyes. Flinched when you came near. I made more than a few calls to DCF .............
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Old 09-22-2019, 12:09 PM
 
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I was talking to a former coworker, they moved her down to kinder and she said she's not allowed to say no or anything negative. I.e. "It's not allowed to" whatever the behavior is. Say a child is hitting. Instead of saying (in the heat of the moment) "We don't hit" you have to say "Nice hands" or something along those lines. When our graduates are unemployed or behind bars we don't know why. Maybe bosses or police officers need to learn not say things "negatively".
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The real child abuse
Old 09-22-2019, 12:24 PM
 
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is never saying no and allowing children to treat adults with such disrespect.
When I went to school male teachers would lift boys up by the front of their shirts and slam them into lockers. Now that was abuse. Telling them to do their homework, pick up their trash off the floor, or not swear at their classmates is not abuse.
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Old 09-22-2019, 02:57 PM
 
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Not me. I run a classroom without chaos and expect kids to listen. I donít yell, but I am firm. Iím also positive when needed. Itís sad what is becoming of education.


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Old 09-22-2019, 04:46 PM
 
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Thankfully, that is not how it is at our school. We have high expectations and are allowed to do what is necessary (typical firmness) to ensure kids tow the line. Middle/higher socioeconomic area if that makes a difference. Parents are very supportive of teachers. I realize it's not that way everywhere, however.
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Saying no
Old 09-22-2019, 05:37 PM
 
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I'm with you! I am soooo thankful for a boss that backs us teachers up. At our school we are most definitely allowed to say no, use consequences, and be firm when required. Now allowing children to experience disappointment or logical consequences certainly sets them up to fail. I've had a few parents who embrace the 'never say no' philosophy and as a kinder teacher, their kiddos struggled the most to adjust to school. It is not fair at all.
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Old 09-23-2019, 02:33 AM
 
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34 years in elementary here. No and stop are part of my vocabulary and I am known for consistently having one of the best behaved classes in the school. Coincidence? I don't think so
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Old 09-23-2019, 05:03 AM
 
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My worst class was so good last week for me - retired substitute teacher. Old school calls it like they see it. Definitely makes a difference in behaviors.

We still have high expectations, but it does seem like younger teachers have a more laid back approach to discipline. A lot more positive statements rather than just no or stop. There is a big difference in behaviors, too. Coincidence? I think not.

Our p was new 5 years ago. She was the same way. Boy has she grown up since joining the ranks. Thank God!
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Mom mode
Old 09-23-2019, 05:29 AM
 
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I raised 3 children and they are respectful and doing great in life. I told them no, I didnít put up with tantrums. Sometimes at work you have to go into what I call ďmomĒ mode. They need to be told no and have boundaries. They all still know I care, but they better behave. I think many of them actually like that. They feel safe.


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I have no problem saying no.
Old 09-23-2019, 09:00 AM
 
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Or stop. Or knock it off. I have no issue with being firm with students. Thankfully our new P backs us up.
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Old 09-23-2019, 10:46 AM
 
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I am just a sub, but I have been written up for my stern tone. I never yell, but I certainly donít take the sunshine and roses approach to poor behavior. I never stop praising / encouraging the positive, but I acknowledge the negative for what it is. I hope I can hang on for the next 2 years.
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My favorite colleague
Old 09-23-2019, 04:33 PM
 
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Had a very clear system

One verbal warning

Next child writes their name on the board

Do something more a check mark and that equaled loss of morning recess.

Up to same antics next day?
Sent to office and sent home!

She was fearless about calling parents. "Your child is not following my rules."

She also was very upbeat and fun. Her students quickly learned to stay on her good side. Test scores still very low
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My favorite colleague
Old 09-23-2019, 04:40 PM
 
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Had a very clear system

One verbal warning

Next child writes their name on the board

Do something more a check mark and that equaled loss of morning recess.

Up to same antics next day?
Sent to office and sent home!

She was fearless about calling parents. "Your child is not following my rules."

She also was very upbeat and fun. Her students quickly learned to stay on her good side. Test scores still very low
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Of course they are
Old 09-24-2019, 04:30 AM
 
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Because current educational theory dictates that attempts to correct student behavior are best phrased using only positive language. If we can't avoid giving negative feedback, then we have to use the "optimal ratio" of positive to negative feedback - 6 positive things for every negative. (Who has time to keep track of that???) Then, of course, we have the lovely PBIS where kids get rewards for marginally acceptable behavior at school and teachers spend a ridiculous amount of time handing out positive "tickets" and planning incentives. Send an ill-behaved kid to the office? There's a pretty good chance that the kid will come back with a treat and the teacher will be in trouble.

And some of this nonsense started years ago so today's young teachers came from this type of school culture.
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