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Help!! Stubborn kid. I need ideas please...
Old 09-12-2017, 02:08 PM
 
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I have a supor stubborn student. I've never seen a kid like this. If he doesn't want to do something he just asks "why" over and over. I can usually avoid the power conflict but sometimes it's unavoidable. I try Love and Logic, I give him choices, I tell him what's coming up so he knows it's happening. He takes these stupid little requests and turns them into these huge productions.

Today I asked him to go to another teacher's class to finish a paper while we went over the answers. I told him ahead of time (after bathroom break I'm going to have you do this). Of course he asked why. I explained I didn't want him hearing the answers. "Why?" "Why?" I'm not doing this.

Any ideas? This is insane.


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Sounds...Annoying
Old 09-12-2017, 02:14 PM
 
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Sometimes when I get a kid like this, I just stop answering the questions. I would just point to the door and maybe say, "Go." Really, if it got even worse, I would tell him once and then ignore him until he complied. I have a tendency to want to answer, but I find that when I stop talking and ignore this type of thing, it does decline.

I have to admit that two years ago, I had this kid and it got a lot worse before it got better. He did try to wear me down. I really think he might have been completely ignored at home and just drove us all insane. Hold your ground and hopefully he will run out of steam. I would be nicer when he starts to improve, but until then ignore, ignore, ignore. Easier said than done.
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Old 09-12-2017, 02:26 PM
 
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I did that. He ignored me.
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Home life?
Old 09-12-2017, 02:31 PM
 
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What are the parents like? Would they back you up if the consequence was to send the class work home?

When I'm desperate, I reward the rest of the class for working hard so the culprit misses some fun.

I'll keep thinking...
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My son, the king of "Why?"
Old 09-12-2017, 02:33 PM
 
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My son was the king of "Why?". It got to the point of me screaming at him, sometimes not very nice things. Well, you can't do that at school, at least out loud. I finally bought a book "Assertive Discipline" by Leo (I think) Canter. It worked on my son. It got to the point when I started the "broken record" routine on him, he'd yell, "No! Not the stuff from the black book! I'll do what you want." He did. He was three or four at the time. He was a stubborn little kid.
I would check out the book, though. It covers a lot of different issues and how to address them.
Kathy


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Old 09-12-2017, 03:07 PM
 
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Yeah, I screamed today. It got ugly. Aunt came to school Friday (first time in my 15 years a parent had to come to school). I'd really like to problem solve without having to call parent or admin or lose my cool.

I'll look for that book.
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Old 09-12-2017, 03:51 PM
 
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This sounds like a younger student.

When I was working with younger students, I did the same thing as you with the choices and letting them know ahead of time. By my co-teacher just answered their question when this came up, which was "Because I'm the teacher. My job is to teach you. You are a student, and your job is the learn. You learn by listening to me."

I don't know how old your student is though, so that line might not work. If it's an older student, it is possible they're asking "Why" because they don't understand the material. That happens to be my #1 reason why students are misbehaving. As a result, you can always give them some teacher's notes so that they can catch up.

I hate losing my head in school, so I hope you feel better.
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Stubborn kid
Old 09-12-2017, 03:59 PM
 
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Could you make an answer the reward?

I will answer that when you put your name on your paper and do three problems.

We can talk about why after you read page 4.
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Broken record technique
Old 09-12-2017, 05:44 PM
 
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I am the queen of that. I also offer to answer why if they will come and see me at recess time or afterschool --
never had one take me up on that offer yet.
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Old 09-12-2017, 05:55 PM
 
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I always say, "Feel free to argue with me after school" and walk away.

The problem is he refuses to comply when I ask him to do something.


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Old 09-12-2017, 05:56 PM
 
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Did you try asking a question back to him? When he asks why, ask him a question such as why do you think you need to___? I had a student a few years ago that argued everything. I did some research and found that by asking a question in return it rerouted the brain and they have to stop and think. I started asking him a question when he started his routine. It worked most of the time depending on his stamina. It got to the point when he would say ok I'm not answering your question and he would stop.
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Old 09-12-2017, 06:12 PM
 
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Answer a legitimate "why?" once. After that, say, "I've answered your question. Now you may either finish your paper in the other room, or take a zero." Then if he doesn't comply immediately, give him a zero.
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memories
Old 09-13-2017, 02:49 AM
 
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I had a girl several years ago that did this. I invited her to each lunch with me so we could talk and then I set the plan in place, telling her exactly how this was going to go. I gave her three tokens each morning and said I would answer three questions from her during the day so think carefully...because after that...no answers. With each question...she handed me a token. (You may want to do 3 in AM and 3 in PM and then work down.}

Then, I would simply write on her papers whatever happened. "Incomplete after 35 minutes...F" "Refused to complete...F" I made copies for parent conferences in case she threw away. I would even let her put down the answers and then write "did not complete...copied answers when everyone else finished...F"

It is important to stick with it...and use no words when writing notes on papers. I just gave her the originals at the end of day or next day because I did get my copies. I also sent an email home after asking her if she wanted to read it before I hit send...reminding her that "I tell truth...SHE decides what the truth will be" and I looked for "good truth" to add to email for any compliance throughout the day. It was a list from morning to afternoon. I often opened the email with first incident and then added to it throughout the day...always letting her know I was adding to it...good or bad...with no emotion...just truth. Then, at end of day, I offered her an opportunity to read and hit send...again...no emotion.
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Old 09-13-2017, 09:24 AM
 
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I love your advice! Invite to lunch... discuss issue... form plan (giving tokens for questions)... giving consequences (saving graded copies of papers)... having student reflect on happenings during the day in an email that is going to their home.

Generally, I answer a student's question once and walk away. They can't keep asking 'why?' if they don't have anyone to question.

But Century46's response is definitely better because it puts the classroom management plan into effect. Rules- warnngs-consequences!
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Old 09-15-2017, 10:16 AM
 
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I would just use the same answer every time when he asks why. I would say:


Many times in life there's no reason to ask why, you just do.


After that, I'd turn around and ignore him. That's what I'd say to him every time.
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