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Checking in, light at the end of the tunnel-PIPs
Old 07-30-2019, 11:24 AM
 
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Hello all- I had issues in 2017-2018 with a Performance Improvement Plan, . It was a very painful blow to my ego. The P went over the edge when I took in one of my former students as a foster kiddo. I think it held up a mirror (not that I was trying to prove anything to anyone), but he tried to make an example of me. He said that I was lying about test scores- (what?!! if I was I wasn't good at lying as my tests scores were sucky)
Prior to that I was one of the P's 'stars'. Really weird.
I took a leave of absence to be a full time PhD student and to head into research academia.

I'm here to tell you there is hope. Those of you that are getting bullied , maligned, bulldozed, or blindsided: there is a principal shortage so it's 33% excel at their job, 33% are ok, 33% are terrible. That's 66% average or below.

Currently, I am still in school successfully and ready to dissertate Scholarships, working ,teaching etc. It's so good.
I do occasionally sub if time allows to stay grounded in research, and keep retirement vested and contributing. I've even subbed in my old building once, it wasn't weird or awkward because I've moved on and forgiven and my state of mind is so different now. I got to leave with no meetings!!!!!

There were a couple of follow up bumps like the HR lady telling the other admins that I "had problems with data" last Spring, it got back to me and I told her face to face that what she said was slander as it could affect my future career in academia, I also put a document in my file showing my 'A' in Advanced Statistics...it felt good Leave me alone please, this town is too small.

My key points afterward:
Usually PIPs are a bullying technique, don't allow yourself to feel less than. It's is almost always a "fit" issue, which means for some immature leaders can be ever changeable. You don't want to be in a building with a leader like that.
Don't take it. Don't burn bridges but don't take it, it is an outdated practice. Get help, support, therapy, whatever. Unless you are showing up drunk everyday, it's NOT YOU!!!!!

HR is NOT your friend. They are less expensive lawyers always protecting "the district" from lawsuits. That's it. No matter how many times you've been friendly with them they are not your friend.

The P will repeat this behavior to someone else, I promise. P did it again to someone else this year, people are getting wise. The ones that feel they can't leave are still there.. getting toxic.

Life is too short, please believe in yourself, don't doubt. Yes of course there are "bad years" but it shouldn't be "that bad". I see too many people put up with it.

An FYI, ended up having a long talk with the P a year later and he was sharing that one of the admins had 'suddenly turned on him and nothing the he did was good enough anymore and it was very upsetting." I looked at the P and was looking if the irony was registering at all- nope. So I just replied " That must be hard." .

I'm here for you all. Back to preparing for the prelims!!!



Last edited by midwestread; 07-30-2019 at 02:16 PM..
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You are right...life is too short
Old 07-30-2019, 12:11 PM
 
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I remember what was happening w/ you and am glad you are doing well w/ your new program.
That is crazy the P would be that open w/ you to share his problems!
It is odd how people do not even sometimes realize the huge impact they have on others.
He may not even get how bad he treated you. I guess we all can be guilty of that in 1 way or another. We see through our own lenses.
Congrats on the advanced stats grade! I had to study my butt off for plain old stats.
It is so good to see you back and happy!
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Awesome
Old 07-30-2019, 12:50 PM
 
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Good for you!!! Thank you for sharing this message. I had a slanderous, unsupportive, &$@hole of a P a few years ago. He was obsessed with his favorites and tried really hard to get rid of his non favorites, to which he usually succeeded because he was “great with parents”... so our district admin thought he walked on water. He also happened to be very attractive and charming so...yeah, there’s that.

His favoritism was often based on things completely unrelated to anything of importance. Usually one crappy parent interaction would immediately put you on his $h!# list. Or if a student told him you were a “meanie head.” Yes, seriously. He also never came in to observe me. Yet he still somehow “knew” he didn’t like me.

Thankfully I was gifted the most AMAZING of mentors in my second year who also happened to think this P was an ignorant d!c& head and wasn’t afraid to tell our higher ups about this. She saved me. I’m now at an incredible school with a P whom I’m CERTAIN does not view me as cannon fodder garbage. She is incredibly supportive and communicates this regularly with the higher ups.

Sorry for the foul language. Guess I’m passionate about it.
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Midwestread
Old 07-30-2019, 02:05 PM
 
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Welcome back. Good to hear you’ve been able to move on.

Do you still have your foster child? How’s that going?

Good luck with your dissertation.
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Old 07-30-2019, 03:52 PM
 
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1. Summerwillcome -Strange that he was so honest- yes. But my life is strange. Not the first time someone spilled their life story to me- know what I mean? The whole situation was weird. He was telling me about books he was reading to manipulate his boss to do what he wanted.I smiled and nodded and thinking "You are a sociopath!" Just weird.

2. NewCAteacher- glad you found a mentor and the perspective to know that your former P was dysfunctional. Your language will never offend me

3.Keltikmom- Yes we still have her, two years later!!! Mom is working hard but kind of likes it how it is. I think we'll have a joint-custody type of situation in the long term. The kid is great, thriving.. our county is ineffective and wrings their hands. Oh well, she's safe.


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I knew that I would be moved ...
Old 07-30-2019, 06:47 PM
 
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... from my position. I just had the feeling. Mostly because the person who was put into the spot was sucking up big time.

When the P called me in to tell me that she was moving me, I didn’t cry or carry on. I just said “that’s great! I was thinking that I might want a change.” She was so deflated. I took the wind out of her sails.

After that, I could do no wrong.

Two years later, she was demoted to an AP due to many issues at the school. When I had my end-of-the-year meeting with her, she said that she was so impressed with my dignity and grace with the job change and she was going to remember how I handled it and use it as her example. She actually started to cry!

Vindication is sweet.
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Awesome
Old 07-31-2019, 12:45 PM
 
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Wow, how rare is it to experience karma? Very rare.
I am amazed and grateful your former AP had enough emotional insight to reflect on her behavior.
I see too many people put their head in the sand like "Nope, nope, nothing wrong here!"
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