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hikinghiker hikinghiker is offline
 
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hikinghiker
 
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I don't get along well with my team
Old 08-06-2019, 06:43 PM
 
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I just don't. I'm in a team of 4 and I get along with one of them pretty well, though she's significantly older than me, but the other two I really don't. For several reasons.

We have different viewpoints, different teaching strategies, different personalities, and different ways of doing things. She believes I should be spending hours every week on my own time at home grading, planning, etc. I believe that my weekend and night time is for me. She follows the whole 'teachers should be a martyr' which I do not ascribe to. Theres so many other differences.

Normally that wouldn't be an issue but the Team Lead is kinda the "Queen Bee" who is also good friends with all admin and a lot of teachers that she's worked with before. She's a good teacher and her style of life definitely works for her. It just doesn't for me. We don't click. I feel like she doesn't ever listen to me, understand me, or think my contributions are worthwhile.

For example, she wants all my copies in two weeks before the week of lessons as we share lessons (I'm in charge of one subject). That doesn't work for me but I do it for her anyways. She also has a ton of demands on how things are done, what's on assessments, if she likes the way I lesson planned, etc. Meanwhile, she doesn't have to plan ANYTHING. But everyone likes her so no one says anything.

Frequently I'll also ask a question or clarify something or even just mention something briefly and it's like we're speaking a different language. She either completely misconstrues what I'm trying to say, looks at me like I'm stupid and am not making sense, or tries to counter me with the same thing I just said. This really only happens with her so I don't think it's a 'me' problem.

It's just really demoralizing all the time. I love the actual work, but man this week is really wearing on me. I feel like the odd man out. I feel like I'm not a valued member of the team, and I often feel like my teammates (mainly the Team Lead, but what she says goes) don't like me.

The only think I can think to do would be to become a mute and disengage from all conversations with her, but holy heck is that hard, especially since she's worked with all admin before and literally even babysits the Principal's daughter.


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noonespecial noonespecial is online now
 
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Old 08-06-2019, 11:27 PM
 
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That is a very difficult position to be in. I am sorry you have to deal with this.
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FMT FMT is offline
 
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What does your gut tell you?
Old 08-07-2019, 05:46 AM
 
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I was in a similar situation a few years ago. Everyone marched to the beat of our team leader. Our team leader retired and I saw such a difference once she was gone with the people who were on the team before. What I learned is this pick your battles. If this person has friendship with administration plus has a reputation in the school of being a fantastic teacher and leader you will not be able to change the leader. It is all about that person. That person needs that feeling of control in order to survive. Most likely, others know about her but canít change how involved and entrenched this person is. That is why they just smile and let it be. The person I dealt with was exactly like this. Even now after retirement people do not talk about her because she still has ties to the administration.

If you look deeper into this person whoís causing you grief you will realize that there is something wrong with her. I bet itís a control issue. My advice would be follow the lead of the others and donít take her behavior personally. You will find people like this in the workplace. These type of people can be in offices too. I have definitely seen this in schools.

Why make your life miserable? The only thing that seems really challenging is having your
work done two weeks in advance. I donít know what to tell you there.

Good luck. Maybe wait and see how it is this year and think about changing grade levels. Whatever you do do not focus on this problem because you will be unhappy. Learn how to breathe smile and find peace in your world.
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Mshope Mshope is offline
 
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Mute
Old 08-15-2019, 06:30 AM
 
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It can be really hard being forced to team with people who are so different. My team this year is fine. However, I do struggle with my grade level partners. They are both more experienced than I am (like 20+ years) and completely different. Both are tight with admin, but in different ways.

It is hard to have to do things that are not ideal just for the sake of keeping the peace. I've tried to tone things down on my end. I really just wish I could do my own thing, but we are supposed to be doing the same stuff. Everything I do is "too much work" for them. The one doesn't like handouts! Hello, you are a teacher. She gets irked when I type things up because she thinks, "we can just tell them." So we have totally different views and styles.

I try to compromise. At times I know I have to take one for the team. Meaning I have to do things I don't like. We are supposed to be doing the same, but in reality we don't. So I think it is fine if you turn in activities and then change them and do what you want. I wouldn't rub their faces in it, but two weeks is a long time. There are many days when I change things right before class.
Good luck and I hope it works out.
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