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Parents of teens. Let's play a game today
Old 05-30-2011, 03:09 PM
 
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Let's do a game of one better. I'll go first, then the rest of you chime in and top me. Here goes.

  • I looked at the cell phone bill (only after some deep meditation exercises) and see that I have 200+ texts for the month. My wife has 500+ texts. And my son has 11,886 texts for the month. Where he finds time to send all these I'll never know because I'm just sure his cell is turned off during school.
  • It is 4:04 PM right now and he's said a total of five words to me all day. I think he's said maybe twice that many to my wife.
  • It is now 4:05 PM and with the exception of him helping out with yard work in the back for a couple of hours this morning he has only come out of his room to eat lunch, which was about five minutes. I'm starting to seriously consider plastering the walls with pictures of him because I'm starting to forget what he looks like. Seriously, people. At his last school band concert I kept thinking other kids on stage were him. Its a big disappointment to look at a kid and see how well groomed he is and then realize he's not yours when you see your own kid that is staring to look like Cousin It.
  • At 6 PM family will start to arrive. I know our son will be all smiles and really talkative, but only with his cousins. The entire groups will constantly relocate to any location where adults are not to be found.
Okay. Your turn.


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Old 05-30-2011, 03:12 PM
 
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I think, Hifi, that you are just not using the right medium in which to communicate with your son. Clearly, you should be texting him!
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years ago
Old 05-30-2011, 03:17 PM
 
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dear son was on his junior training cruise for the Maritime academy he attended. It was a commercial ship so I thought nothing of him calling and wishing me Happy Mother's Day. A quick call and so appreciated...until the phone bill came in $220.00 ship to shore charge. this was pre-cell phone days. I still love him and he has big kids now.
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Old 05-30-2011, 03:21 PM
 
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I have started to text DD, otherwise she ignores me, or acts like I am persecuting her. We have recently started eating dinner without her, and just smiling, saying that we called her for dinner. This results in her stomping off and sulking before she finally decides to eat.
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My turn
Old 05-30-2011, 03:24 PM
 
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I do find that DS and I communicate through text quite a bit lately. Among the texts I have received lately:

"I need a towel."

"I need toilet paper."

"I has Taco Bell?"

And I found a completely empty bag of Cheetos in the pantry. This wasn't a text, I just wanted to include it.



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Old 05-30-2011, 03:27 PM
 
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As the mother of 7, yes 7, teens I feel I am an expert on this subject.
  • At a band awards banquet, the band teacher approached me and my husband to say how sweet and helpful daughter #3 is...I am sure we looked puzzled because all we get from her are eye rolls, slammed doors and frequent sighing.
  • we took the family out to dinner last night (we took out a loan) There was very little dinner conversation...lots of texting though...Daughter #2 even texted me at one point.
  • I don't think I could identify son #5 in a line up at this point. Between his hair being in his face and the fact he remains in his cave most of the time...He may be the unabomber.
  • Alas, all 7 were on the honor roll, no one causes serious trouble (ok sometimes daughter #1...she is fiesty), and others find them charming. I just don't get it.
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Haha
Old 05-30-2011, 03:29 PM
 
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I got texts exactly like the above, including, "mom can you go downstairs and get me a drink". Until my darling ds lost his phone. He's only about to turn 11, so I hate to think what the future brings.... I hibernated in my room under the covers as a teenager though. Just me and the phone. Pre cell days. House phone.
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text
Old 05-30-2011, 03:45 PM
 
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I don't think my teenage daughters even realize their phones have the capability of making voice calls. I also have to text them if I want to talk to them. Even if they are in the house.

One has been in her room all day. The other has laid on the couch. When I try to talk to her, she pretends to be asleep.
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Old 05-30-2011, 03:45 PM
 
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WOW! 11,000....I'm impressed. I thought the 6,000ish my DS uses each month was impressive!

If it weren't for the fact that he has to ride to school with me each morning, the only time he would emerge from his room for identification is when he's hungry.

I got one...mine can amazingly play a game on his PS3, Skype with the guys he is playing with, even though he can talk to them thru PSN, play a game on the PC, and text his GF all at the same time. Can we say multitasking! But, he can't seem to remember to clean up after the dog when he takes her out... hmmmm
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Old 05-30-2011, 03:53 PM
 
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I made my teen son clean his bathroom so I could go behind him and really clean it.

He had to clean it to get it to a normal amount of dirtiness and then I could go in and get it nice and clean feeling so someone of the human race would actually consider using the bathroom without a HAZMAT suit on!


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Old 05-30-2011, 03:57 PM
 
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Quote:
I don't think I could identify son #5 in a line up at this point. Between his hair being in his face and the fact he remains in his cave most of the time...He may be the unabomber.
I really had to laugh out loud at the unibomber comment.
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Mostly you win
Old 05-30-2011, 04:00 PM
 
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but, sadly, I can beat the texts per month. (Hooray, I win!) Our DS, back in the summer between his 8th and 9th grades had his first "girl friend". Since this was early on, they didn't actually see one another (school was out), but texted constantly. He posted two months of (getting or receiving) 20,000 texts both months!! Impressive. I think they hit the mall in a group once together that summer. The entire relationship involved satellites.

At home, it is funny to realize that you had to involve a satellite in space to communicate with someone in the next room.

We have seen our DS (now a junior, almost 17) a total of 5 minutes this weekend, only to ask, "Can I spend the night with ____?", "Can I go out on _____?". "Can you drive me to _____?" It's been lovely spending all this time together.
Later he gets mad when he realizes we've decided as a family to get a dog. Sorry YOU WEREN'T HERE!
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I am the lucky one
Old 05-30-2011, 04:01 PM
 
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I have 2 teen sons still at home (and a 22 y/o) and so far today we have put away groceries, cooked, done laundry, helped with some auto maintenance, and yes even talked all day long. Only one of the sons has a cell phone, and it is a pre-paid.I have even heard "I love you" more than once, of course that was in the kitchen and over some fresh-smoked chicken right off the slicer.

My kids all went through the funk in middle school. By 9th grade, they became normal and human again.
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Old 05-30-2011, 04:04 PM
 
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Quote:
We have seen our DS (now a junior, almost 17) a total of 5 minutes this weekend, only to ask, "Can I spend the night with ____?", "Can I go out on _____?". "Can you drive me to _____?" It's been lovely spending all this time together.
That is exactly how it's been this weekend. An overnight at a friend's house. Then off to a graduation party with my wife, but from there he and his friends decided to do a drive-in movie and he didn't get home until very late. I told him he could go, but he had to remember I wanted him out with me doing yard work. He knows what that means. I want you up without fussing that you're tired. He didn't fuss at all. I was really happy.
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I'm jealous of Trishg1
Old 05-30-2011, 04:05 PM
 
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Any way we can get her kicked off here a few days?
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teens
Old 05-30-2011, 04:07 PM
 
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I dropped my DD off at her friend's house on Saturday morning. They shortly left after that for a week at her friend's lake house. I very clearly instructed her that she must keep in touch each and every day with a phone call or texts.

Saturday evening I text her after not hearing from her. I decided that she must not think that Saturday counted because she had seen me that morning.

Sunday afternoon I text her something funny. She replied. I then texted that I loved her and reminded her to use sunscreen and to be careful. She replied that "I'm not burning." In other words get lost we have already communicated for the day.

Today: I haven't heard a word. I am staying strong and not texting her. I made her promise to keep in touch with me! That means she must show some initiative. If I don't hear from her today she will know the wrath of mom tomorrow!

Once I tell her that her week in Florida later this summer may be in jeopardy, I think she may become more communicative. At least I hope so.....
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so sorry
Old 05-30-2011, 04:07 PM
 
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I will be (sniff) leaving now
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Well, Trishg1
Old 05-30-2011, 04:11 PM
 
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Maybe someone will post about their kids being even nicer than yours and you'll join in wanting them off the island too.
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Old 05-30-2011, 04:11 PM
 
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One month I had to talk to our cell phone provider about something and the guy saw how many texts dd had and laughed, said it was the highest number he had ever seen. It was over 15,000. She even has been caught texting in her sleep!!!

One dd, same as above, talks at me non-stop to the point I don't hear half of what she says which she complains about saying I never listen. I have to listen to kids ALL DAY and then come home to non-stop chatter from her, that is if she's actually home.

Dd 18 rarely speaks unless she absolutely has to and usually resorts to yelling if you try to have a conversation about finding a job, future plans, etc. I have resorted to just texting her most of the time. Dh now drives her to the bus because apparently she can't stand to talk to anyone in the morning and it doesn't seem to bother him that she doesn't speak before noon.

Oh the joys of parenting teens. I think they become unbearable as teens so that it makes it easier for us when they finally leave home. By then it will be a relief to be away from the moods!
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Old 05-30-2011, 04:26 PM
 
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My daughters (21 and 13) are talkers. They both text so much that the numbers are worn off the keys.
I could've written the original post. It is now 5:30 and I have not seen my son since he left to visit his girlfriend at 10 last night. He got home from work at 9 pm, sat for 1 hour playing his psp and checking facebook. He stood up and said 2 words. "I'm going." He kissed me on the cheek and left.

He has a gym membership (we're paying) I told him that we were going to cancel it if he didn't start using it. He told me--with a straight face mind you-- that he didn't have time to work out. He works from 3-9 in the afternoon. He only has class on Tuesdays and Thursdays. I guess he doesn't see that he could wake up BEFORE 2 pm.
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Thank you
Old 05-30-2011, 04:27 PM
 
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to you all for the free therapy session and for the one glimmer of hope! I don't feel like such a failure as a parent anymore! I also will begin to miss my first graders in about a week. They hugged me, spoke with me, laughed with me, listened to me, and told me that they would miss me this summer! Sigh....
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Old 05-30-2011, 05:02 PM
 
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Am I the only mom of a rotating kid? By that I mean, my DS rotates his moodiness and meanness. Typically he goes in a few weeks cycle. This week he's actually been helpful, funny, and communicative. I will probably get another week or so of this. THEN he will be the biggest, sullennest, jerkiest jerk on the planet for a week or so. Then his good side comes back again....and so on, and so on....
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hmmmm...
Old 05-30-2011, 05:11 PM
 
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Not to butt in,I don't have teenagers yet,but after reading these posts I'm wondering if I should start looking into an overseas academy for when they hit it...
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Old 05-30-2011, 05:20 PM
 
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son :

let 96 dollar tag renewal expire on a used truck he earned by getting good grades

ticketed for expired tags week after week after week

saved money;went to dmv;could not buy new tags and pay late fees unless car was smogged

he had no money for that and refused to take a loan from us and/or park the truck in our garage

so he parked the truck on the street and cop ticketed each week

truck was towed and confiscated by the city

he rides a bike to work each day and rides city transportation to visit girlfriend in the city

he still owes money to the city for those tickets
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No phone
Old 05-30-2011, 05:22 PM
 
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Interesting observation about my grandson (14 yrs) He got his phone and xbox taken away for a month as a punishment. You'd think that would make him more sullen but it's had the opposite effect. He's still not the most communicative kid in the world, but he's hanging out with the family more, participating in conversations and is just generally more pleasant to be around. I'm going to be sad when he gets his electronics back
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And now we know why I have no kids...
Old 05-30-2011, 05:59 PM
 
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People don't get it but seriously, it's comments like this that help me realize maybe it's good I don't have kids. Plus, my school is K-8 so I see the Jr. High kids and their attitudes etc. these were my sweet wonderful 3rd graders 4 years ago, what happened? Oh yeah they hit 12 (or earlier now!).

To all you parents of teens- I admire you, I don't think I could ever handle it, I don't even like seeing them on my campus!
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Mine are past the teen years
Old 05-30-2011, 06:26 PM
 
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but I can totally relate to tammynj's message: mine also rotated. Just when you thought you couldn't take another day of the moodiness and pushing your buttons, they changed to again resemble the cute little things they were pre-teen years....like you said, actually helping and funny. So you started feeling encouraged that maybe the worst was over and then it would all start up again....mean, sullen, uncommunicative. I have to say that my daughter was usually always communicative even if sometimes you didn't like what she said....and I was thankful for that even though we did get into a lot of arguments. My son communicated half the time. If you asked too many questions.....WHOAA!!!! And now he is 26 and he is still exactly the same, sometimes cheerful and helpful and other times cranky as anything, still getting snippy if you ask too many questions. Anyone else have that with a kid in their 20's....thank God he did graduate from college, has a good job and doesn't live home but sometimes honestly, he acts the same way he did as a teen! Is this just a male immaturity thing?
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Old 05-30-2011, 06:37 PM
 
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I think there is a 24 yo man living upstairs. I hear him go from room to room periodically and even sometimes this body comes down for food or beverage!

DD, 19, was nicknamed "pest from the west" this weekend. She is used to being on a college campus and expected me to entertain her all weekend! Thank God she went back to school this afternoon for work and summer classes. Love her to death and miss her like crazy when she's not here, but I am not the social director!!!!

Quote:
I don't think I could identify son #5 in a line up at this point. Between his hair being in his face and the fact he remains in his cave most of the time...He may be the unabomber.
I feel the same about 24 yo!!! No long hair, but does not show his face often!
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Old 05-30-2011, 07:14 PM
 
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All I can say is that you guys are making me feel a whole heck of a lot better tonight! Our boys are early 20's now, but DD is not even 12 and already moody and acting like a teenager. I seriously am going to read these to DH tomorrow night so he can feel better along with me (he's in bed already)! Keep the posts coming so I can keep on feeling better and better!

Nancy
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My boys
Old 05-31-2011, 06:12 AM
 
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The texting thing cracked me up. I have seen them texting during dinner (a no-no here and not like it's not obvious!) and in turn would go to the kitchen where I keep my cell phone and text them all saying "No texting at the table!"

Oldest teen (an upcoming senior) is never here. He works most nights (during summer) until 1am, comes home, sleeps, goes to see friends and girlfriend, comes in quickly to eat and feed his cat then leaves again. Thinking of pulling random wires in his car to get him to stick around.

Other younger teens in house, well they are here and so are their friends! I swear that I fed half the neighborhood last night and then some. Food doesn't last long here.
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dogs and cats
Old 05-31-2011, 07:54 AM
 
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Our pastor said kids are like dogs and cats. When they are young, they are like puppies. They love you, greet you at the door, and want to spend time with you. When they hit 13, they become cats. They only want to be around you when THEY want to be around you. Like when they need food or their kitty litter changed. He says they become dogs again around age 20!
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Yikes!
Old 05-31-2011, 09:14 AM
 
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I have a 7 year old DS. Right now he holds my hand, says I love you often, and is sweet. You have all scared the crap out of me for what the future holds...
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Old 05-31-2011, 09:18 AM
 
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Don't be scared of raising a son. It is very different than raising a daughter and very very rewarding. My son learns the hard way at times like we all do. He is independent,hard working,creative,smart.,loves his family..a very very good son
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so happy
Old 05-31-2011, 09:42 AM
 
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that I am not the only one. I see my DS more via skype when he is at college than I ever do when he is here! Ah well! My younger DS is still relatively communicative at 18, so who knows.
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Old 05-31-2011, 11:19 AM
 
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One more reason why I am not buying DD a cell phone. (She's 10. Many of her friends have cell phones, iphones, etc., I thought she was joking when she said that, until I was around her and five of her friends one day, and one of their phones rang, and they all pulled one out, to check it.
I told her, "While I'm walking around with my blinged out pre-paid, you'd better believe you're not getting an iphone, kid."

As much as she talks, I'd hate to see how much she could text.

I have fear....great fear.
Just when you thought it was safe to dream for the future, Hifi has a way of bringing ya back to reality.

Glad to see you back, Hifiman.

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today with my three
Old 05-31-2011, 01:30 PM
 
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20 yo DS off to work at 6:30 this morning. 4:00 Home early from work to attend a co-workers wedding. Will go from there to a city league softball game... may or may not see him before my bedtime.....

18 yo DD up and off at 8:30 for first day of work after graduating this weekend. Home around 6:00 then off with bf I am sure.

12 yo DD up and off at 8:15 to baby sit for the next two days.

Feeling very blessed to have three wonderful children, two of which are turning into fine young adults and one that will soon be entering the "teenage zone" She will be the one to give us gray hair........
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Kitty litter, cinnamon rolls, and lawn mower
Old 05-31-2011, 02:12 PM
 
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DD brought home roommates cat from college for us to find it a good home. MY home is not a good home, so it went back with her today. She decided to keep it for herself and what did she leave in her wake? Spilled kitty litter, spilled cat food, burned cinnamon rolls, oozing dried icing on the floor and wet towels on the hardwood floor. Thank goodness for summer school!

DS broke garage door last week, so instead of lifting the door manually, he drove the lawn mower through the house over carpet and hardwood floors to get out the front door to mow the grass! At least he had the sense not to start it up until he got outside!
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What a relief!
Old 05-31-2011, 03:24 PM
 
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My teens are driving us crazy and DH seemed sure that it's only ours that act this way! I can reaaallly relate to these posts (except about the easy kids!). I am positive that ours are taking turns traumatizing us!.
Youngest DD has some of the scariest mood swings I've ever seen- complete with spinning head and spewing green ooze.
DS must be Hifi's son's East Coast twin. He lives in his cave, complete with black cover thrown over the window and no lights on, playing XBox and texting. We rarely see the kid, but when he surfaces, it's his greatest joy in life to torture his younger sister. I often wonder when the aliens abducted my little boy.....
Oldest DD is home from college and can't imagine how we live like this all the time.....apparently she's sooooo much better than her father and I are at managing a home. We also don't know how to raise children; her proof is her siblings, of course.
Finally, there's the other DD, who has no concept of cause-and-effect. I particularly enjoyed the recent night when she texted us during the late afternoon hours that she wouldn't be home until the next day. Then she showed up two hours later and flipped out because we didn't order her dinner!?!?! She's full of examples like this that prove that she's not our favorite.....

I am so glad Hifi started this thread! We are not alone!
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We don't get cell service
Old 05-31-2011, 03:35 PM
 
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so no cell phone. No texts! Though I will admit to sending messages via facebook. My oldest is 13. He grunts a lot and complains we are losing our hearing because we often can't understand what he's said. We once tried replying to him in his language, but he couldn't understand us. He says his hearing is fine.

So 2 more years and we should have a child who once resembled ours before he became a teenager? I once told my husband to breathe. He replied that he was VERY healthy due to all the deep breathing he did!
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great thread
Old 05-31-2011, 05:23 PM
 
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and in agreement here. I love the cats and dogs relationship. I totally agree. DS#1 wrote me the nicest Mother's Day card, he's 20 and realizing how much we have done for him. DS#2 is 18 and not at that point. I thank you hifiman because I feel much better that I am not the only one with teens!
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