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Say something or just block?
Old 02-16-2020, 07:04 PM
  #1

A friend I've known since HS and who lived with us for 7 months last year is on my FB. She has taken off on the abortion issue based on a post I shared a few days ago. She has been inconsiderate in the past, has a history of lying and is extremely narcissistic.

Today she posted about a "friend" she has who has a mentally ill DD and gave her the morning after pill when she was raped as a young teen and now supports abortion. She then goes on to say that this friend used to mock people in HS (not so), bashed her religious denomination, etc., etc., etc. Its obvious to those who know me well, its me, based on the 1st part. I do not understand the purpose. Needless to say I am angry and hurt. I plan to block her, but am wondering if I should make some type of comment first, in response to what she said? I am dying to do that (in as tactful a way as possible) but just not sure its worth it. We do have many mutual friends. This is not only hurtful to me, but if DD sees it (not likely but possible) I cannot imagine how she'll feel.

Thanks!

Nancy


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Block her...
Old 02-16-2020, 07:15 PM
  #2

I would block her. I can see why commenting would make you feel better, but it could continue to escalate things. Your friends who know and care about you should tune this person out. If you write a comment, she could lie and say it is about someone else.

If you ever do see her again outside of FB, you could share your feelings and question her post, and refute her inaccuracies. Doing that type of thing face to face is hard, but I always feel the direct approach is better than something in print. That way, it is between you and her and does not live forever in cyberspace.
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Old 02-16-2020, 07:20 PM
  #3

Block her, she's not worth the negative energy. I know easy for me to say. I believe until we walk in other people's shoes no one has the right to judge. She must have her own serious issues if she is posting about others.
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Old 02-16-2020, 07:25 PM
  #4

Block her and ignore her. She's clearly desperate for attention and is trying to provoke you deliberately and get you sucked in so she can lord it over you.
She doesn't deserve a speck of attention from you! Not worth your emotional energy.
And, people reading her stuff will see her true colors and won't buy into it, either!
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Old 02-16-2020, 07:26 PM
  #5

I'd remove her from my friend's list period..end of story. Who needs that kind of trouble in their life? She is a rash that keeps coming back. Drop her.


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facebook post
Old 02-16-2020, 07:29 PM
  #6

I think I'd probably post that you just want to clarify that this friend that so and so is talking about isn't you and your dd. I'd then add in that you consider your views on abortion, the morning-after pill, and any events such as rape of someone you know to be a closed topic for conversation on facebook but that you'd be happy to discuss them in an appropriate setting.

And then I'd drop her as a friend both on facebook and in real life.

I'd also be angry. What she said was pure mean gossip. It would take me a few days to calm down after seeing that.

I like using facebook for catching up with friends, funny videos, viewing photographs in a group I belong to, and help with genealogy. I don't want to get my blood pressure skyrocketing because of something someone posted.
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Old 02-16-2020, 07:53 PM
  #7

Block. She wants to get a rise out of you. Don't give her that pleasure. Sorry that happened.
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Block friend
Old 02-16-2020, 08:37 PM
  #8

As possibly unsatisfying as it might be,I’m would just block her and let it go. Completely unfriend her. How rude that you opened your home to her for longer than planned and she has the audacity to openly criticize you.

It is seriously tempting to make a response before deleting her. Don’t. You’re just “feeding the troll” as my DD puts it. Stoking the fire, as it were.
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Ugh
Old 02-16-2020, 08:46 PM
  #9

Unfriend her both on Facebook and in real life. This person is not your friend. She took advantage of you for months leaving with you and is now bashing you! Good riddance!
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Old 02-16-2020, 09:47 PM
  #10

I would not respond publicly in any way. Honestly, I'd want to keep track of her and wouldn't block her. However, she'd probably block me after after I private messaged her how disappointed I was that after all I did for her she would publicly denegrate me on facebook. I'd ask for rent for all the time she spent in your home since it's now clear she wasn't your friend and was fleecing you.

Though reality is this woman has no boundaries and is probably not safe to confront, so doing nothing is probably better.


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OK. They're right.
Old 02-16-2020, 11:54 PM
  #11

Yes, I suppose you shouldn't bother saying anything. I just find it almost impossible not to respond, though, when someone I know acts in a rude manner. Shoot. I even have trouble when people I don't know say mean things.
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Old 02-17-2020, 12:11 AM
  #12

Do not respond; just block her.
I think she is trying to get back at you for having to “encourage “ her to find other housing last year
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Old 02-17-2020, 01:56 AM
  #13

I would chalk this up to a lesson learned and completely delete her from my life. Clearly, she is no friend. People who know and care about you will see this person for her true character. I truly cannot believe the nerve of this person after you let her stay in your home for seven months. I am sorry for the pain she has caused you.
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Old 02-17-2020, 03:25 AM
  #14

I have not read all the responses but wanted to say that if she commented on your post then you can remove her comment. When you're on your phone hold your finger on her comment and choices will pop up of what you want to do. On a computer just click on the comment and choices should pop-up.

I would remove her from your friend list permanently.
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Old 02-17-2020, 03:55 AM
  #15

Why engage her anymore? Just block her or unfriend this person and be done with it. She brings nothing positive into your life. Time to move on from her.
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Nancy
Old 02-17-2020, 05:36 AM
  #16

My 2 cents. She's not your friend. Unfriend her and forget it. Don't let her steal your joy.
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Old 02-17-2020, 05:46 AM
  #17

Block her and unfriend her. You treated her so well for the 7 months she lived with you and this is how she repays you? She's no friend. She's a user.
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Old 02-17-2020, 05:58 AM
  #18

I would unfriend her completely and then block her. She is not acting like a friend. I would have nothing to do with her on social media or in IRL either.

She is not your friend because she has blabbed things you told her in confidence or that she learned when living with you. If she does it on social media, you can be sure she blabs about it with others elsewhere, too.

IMHO after all you did to help her and her son, she is an ingrate and obviously does not value your friendship.

If you feel the need to say something, you can send her a private message via FB messenger and then unfriend her.

I would be very cautious in the future and think twice when it comes to revealing highly personal things about family to others.
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Hi Nancy
Old 02-17-2020, 05:58 AM
  #19

There's a lesson or two to learn here...

I would not block her. She is crying out for attention. There is nothing she can do to hurt you because you are a Christian and have a solid faith and support system that works for you.

You could argue her weird point, you could argue your own. Things change as time and experiences leave their mark on us. My favorite response is either no response or the one that makes most stop and think... "You couldn't be more correct."

You could respond with Love, "I understand. You see things clearly."

Everyone that truly knows you will not be affected much by this person's rants.

As an aside. My strong feeling is this --- Until you walk in my shoes, leave judgements to God.

In my life I have had numerous critics, abusers, false friends, encounters with the Devil, have heard the voice of God, have walked with and been held by Angels.

Seek the Light Nancy, as you always do. When is your birthday?
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Blocking
Old 02-17-2020, 05:59 AM
  #20

It is not worth making a comment because it won't change anything, and you won't get a response that will make you feel better.

She sounds just awful. It is time to block her and completely remove her from your life.
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Old 02-17-2020, 07:23 AM
  #21

I agree with the others to just completely delete her from FB and also IRL. We don't need those kind of negative people in our lives, especially one that you opened your heart and home to. She clearly took advantage of you in the past but don't let her get to you now. I know the revenge part of us would like to say something but honestly it's not going to do any good. Write what you'd like to post in a word doc then delete it.

She's got issues, as you know, but you don't have to get sucked in anymore.
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Old 02-17-2020, 11:21 AM
  #22

Being a Christian does not mean you can't set boundaries or you have to tolerate poor behavior from others. Remove the comment if you can and block her.
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You can still be a Christian...
Old 02-17-2020, 01:50 PM
  #23

...and block her.

That type of engagement does not warrant a written response.
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Old 02-17-2020, 04:21 PM
  #24

Thank you friends! She sent me an apology through messenger (she can bash in public but certainly cannot apologize in public). I will thank her tonight via messenger and block!

Nancy
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Old 02-17-2020, 04:43 PM
  #25

I don't think I would thank her in messenger, just unfriend her. There was no reason for her to post that and she should delete the post.
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Old 02-17-2020, 05:20 PM
  #26

Frankly I don't think I'd bother responding to her apology. Did she remove her post? If not, her apology is meaningless. She has shown you who she is over and over, so just let her go.

Again, I would not unfriend her or block her (though I would put her in a group that doesn't receive any of your posts.) I think if you can continue to see what she posts that might be a good thing in case you get attacked again. Facebook will stop showing you her posts, (or you can unfollow and stop seeing them immediately) but if you're still on her list you'll be able to check if you get wind of any nasty stuff being posted.
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Old 02-18-2020, 06:42 AM
  #27

She sent you an "apology" but it still was posted. Disgusting behavior. Public bashing but private apologizing. hmmmmm.
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I friend and say nothing
Old 02-18-2020, 06:55 AM
  #28

I agree with those who say you should unfriend without any comment. Sometimes people make it difficult to walk away by continually fueling the issue and if you try to just avoid the person it becomes just more aggravating for you. You don’t need this type of negativity in your life.
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If it’s
Old 02-18-2020, 03:39 PM
  #29

Your post, delete it so no one can see that garbage that she posted.
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Can you report her post?
Old 02-18-2020, 05:21 PM
  #30

If you can, report it if it's not taken down. I'm glad you're blocking her. ((Hugs)))
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