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Food for thought
Old 04-07-2020, 02:43 PM
  #1

Yeah, so, never mind.



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Old 04-07-2020, 02:53 PM
  #2

Well, that may be true, but every time you leave the house, you put yourself and possibly others at risk. So I hope people really think carefully about how necessary each trip is.
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Very True
Old 04-07-2020, 02:54 PM
  #3

Some of us can withstand staying home more easily than others. We are each unique and mental health is important. We don't need to judge others and what they decide is an essential trip away from home. Let us just care for ourselves and help one another when possible.
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Old 04-07-2020, 02:55 PM
  #4

So true, I love this . You don’t know peoples’ reasons. We’re only good at putting ourselves in somebody else’s shoes.....sometimes. I’m off of most social media due to people who are “better than me”. This virus is as bad as, or worse than politics for tearing people apart.

I do know how serious this virus is, and I would never do anything to endanger anybody else.
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Old 04-07-2020, 03:04 PM
  #5

J love what that says and it is true. Worry about yourself since no one knows what a person needs than that person.


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Old 04-07-2020, 03:15 PM
  #6

I guess this isn't a popular opinion, but I think a lot of people are using stuff like this to justify going out in public way too much. You really shouldn't leave your house except for food, medicine, and maybe items urgently needed for repairs. (Or work obviously if you can't work at home or are an essential worker.) I have anxiety, I love to sew and it helps with that, but I use what I have or what I can order. I would not go out to a fabric store right now. We will only prolong the stay at home time by going out more than absolutely needed. So many things can be ordered online now that people surely can find something to occupy them if they need to.
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Well said:
Old 04-07-2020, 03:17 PM
  #7

My husband and I were doing quite fine with staying at home until....

THE FURLOUGH. (Which my husband does not see as any different than a layoff.) He spent a week mired in misery and depression. I was worried. I've seen this before. I got him to go for a walk with me and we discussed a home repair project that we've put off for years because it was just so complicated, and was going to be quite expensive to contract out.

Suddenly, he decides to do it himself.

Now he's no longer depressed. Now he's working from morning until night. Now he's optimistic and cheerful. Yes, it took three trips to Home Depot and will take at least one more. And so far we've spent over $1000.

But the change in my husband couldn't be bought at any cost.

So if someone wants to judge away, so be it. The risk is worth the benefit.
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Old 04-07-2020, 03:30 PM
  #8

Privateyes gave a perfect example of why some people do need an outlet for stress. I am not a person who can sit around inside my house day after day in my house watching tv. I c.a.n.n.o.t do it. I need movement.

Fortunately for me, I have enough "stuff" here to keep me busy for a while, but totally understand if a person needs to go buy things in a store that others may not deem essential.

But one person going to a store to buy a few items is totally different from the people who are taking families shopping... or not giving 6 feet, much less wearing masks. I went to the post office today to mail out masks to people. A woman came in and stood about 2 feet behind me. Then she kept touching things- a poster on the wall, all the forms in the kiosk.... What the heck? She been living under a rock? I had to laugh because the PO had clear shower curtains hung in front of the counters, but the woman who was being served went up, and went under the curtains so she was standing on the same side as the counter guy.... I realize she didn't understand it. I imagine my dad doing the same thing - although he might have asked. I don't know.

On the other hand, yesterday I took a walk and was in the woods (this is in my neighborhood). I typically run into almost no one on this trail, but this time there was a woman coming toward me. You would have though I was a bat from the way she jumped off the trail and ran at least 6 feet away, then grabbed her mask and shoved it on her face. I felt like coughing just because, but I didn't. However, I did think that was overkill. Whatever. We all have to do what we think best.

I just wish more people would do things as asked instead of just thinking they are immune.
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Old 04-07-2020, 03:31 PM
  #9

We have been choosing wisely, but sometimes things can't be helped.

I needed a paper notarized for retirement. If I postpone that I end up with no health insurance.

My DS has made a few trips to Lowe's (1 per weekend) for repair items on his house that he's rented and need to be done before tenant can move in.

Our grocery runs have lists and we try to do it all on one store, but if they don't have 1/2 the stuff we need we need to try another store.

What isn't essential is the kids running around Walmart while 3 adults stand around yakking away!
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Old 04-07-2020, 03:34 PM
  #10

As I always said to kindergarteners "mind your own self."


I like the original post as well. Everything in life is completely different once you become depressed and/or anxious. The reality changes for you. Someone outside your depressed world does not feel or understand your reality. Do what you need to stay alive and try your best to mind the physical distance rules.



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Old 04-07-2020, 03:41 PM
  #11

OP- Thank you for sharing this. I know there are people with very strong opinions and I hope this offers another perspective for them to think about.
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Old 04-07-2020, 03:42 PM
  #12

Yes, there is entirely too much judging happening right now. You do what's best for you. Let the others do what's best for themselves. That's true for every situation including this one. No one can presume to know the circumstances someone else is in.
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Old 04-07-2020, 03:54 PM
  #13

My husband is an essential worker. He stays home when he is not working, but has made trips out when he feels necessary. We run a food pantry so he has gone out to pick up donations. Then we have gone to the place the food is kept to organize, clean, and set up for food distributions. He has met people at their vehicles with food for them. He has gone to the store a few times for us. We've been to doctor offices and the pharmacy. Yesterday we took the dog to the vet, where we had to wait in the car, but had limited exposure to the staff. My husband feels as an essential worker he is already around people so he will continue to do what he needs to. I cringe at the thought. I have asked him to consider not stocking or opening the food pantry for the next two weeks til we see what happens. We stocked our visitors as much as we could this past Saturday. I have a prescription to pick up, but after that we hope not to go into public outside of him going to work. This day and age it is hard to stay home.bim trying but it just isn't happening like I think it should.
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Old 04-07-2020, 04:10 PM
  #14

I agree wholeheartedly. There's a big difference between the people being careless, and the people taking calculated (and minimized) risks for their mental health. We can't always tell the difference just looking at someone. This is an already stressful time; I wish "we" (as in people in general) would all be a little kinder to one another.
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Old 04-07-2020, 04:31 PM
  #15

Quote:
You do what's best for you.
I wholeheartedly disagree with this. "You do what's best for you" is what gets us into a situation where people say that they get to do what they want because it's "my risk to take." No, it's not. This is SOCIAL distancing because it is good for SOCIETY.

Quote:
I guess this isn't a popular opinion, but I think a lot of people are using stuff like this to justify going out in public way too much
I agree. Are there some people for whom a home repair project is keeping them from crippling depression or succumbing to alcoholism? Sure.

But how many people are using "but I can't stay at home; it makes me crazy" as an excuse?

I'd be willing to bet that "it makes me mildly or even moderately uncomfortable to be asked to do something I don't usually do" is the much more common emotion. And "this is what *I* want/need" is not a good enough excuse for endangering the actual essential workers.
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Where did it go?
Old 04-07-2020, 04:51 PM
  #16

I just came back to read it again and share it with my husband but itís gone.

I hope you will consider putting it back. Yes, it will be controversial but it may also be helpful to people.
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Old 04-07-2020, 04:53 PM
  #17

Iím sorry you took this off but Iím glad I took a screenshot before you did .

It was an important message.
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Old 04-07-2020, 04:55 PM
  #18

OK, I’ll put it back on. Apparently mental health is important, until there’s a pandemic . When I read it I assume the best of people, not that somebody is trying to cheat the system. This post is on me now, not Checkerjane.
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Old 04-07-2020, 04:59 PM
  #19

Thank you CatLove and original poster. It is a monumental task to get through these tough times however it is possible without extreme thinking on either side.

Getting together for a football game or family dinner ? NO. Walking through a store looking for that one beautiful plant that speaks to your masked lonely self during your worst moments...yes.
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Old 04-07-2020, 05:03 PM
  #20

I do think people are respectfully disagreeing. There is always going to be two sides to everything.
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Old 04-07-2020, 05:07 PM
  #21

I think the conversation is worthwhile. I am not sure why the original post was removed.
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Old 04-07-2020, 05:25 PM
  #22

I feel that some people are very entitled. Saying that you can't stay home is selfish. Go take a walk. But don't put other people at risk. You do put others at risk because you don't know if you might be contagious. That is one of the problems with this virus. People are contagious before they show symptoms or they might be contagious and never show symptoms. Unless you've been tested, you don't know if you are contagious or not.

Yes, you can stay home. This is a pandemic. The only way we slow it down is if everyone cooperates. People in other times have had to do far worse things in an emergency than sit at home. If you want this to be over, then stay home. We are all anxious and worried.
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Old 04-07-2020, 05:33 PM
  #23

Quote:
I wholeheartedly disagree with this. "You do what's best for you" is what gets us into a situation where people say that they get to do what they want because it's "my risk to take." No, it's not. This is SOCIAL distancing because it is good for SOCIETY.
If you disagree with me, that's fine, but I'm glad we can all share our opinions.
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Old 04-07-2020, 05:34 PM
  #24

Iím surprised that places like Lowes and Home Depot and similar places are still open. Curb side pick up or delivery only here.
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Old 04-07-2020, 05:37 PM
  #25

The label "entitled" is legit however there is another reality when the brain, a chemically controlled human body organ,changes course and the human understands reality in a different manner. It is our duty to look at each situation differently, much like we have to do with students in our class.
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Old 04-07-2020, 05:46 PM
  #26

Quote:
I’m surprised that places like Lowes and Home Depot and similar places are still open.
Thank god they are open! We had some major rain at the start of this and our drain got clogged and backed up, which then led to my rain gutter being ripped from the wall, which then caused a waterfall directly into my storage room......I really think our supplies and the need to fix this was “essential” because we have had quite a bit of rain since then and would be in a work of hurt if we just let it go.
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Old 04-07-2020, 05:52 PM
  #27

I think repairs like gutters and water damage is essential. That's why those places are open. Remodeling your house - not so much. I had plans to redo our master bedroom and bathroom, but they are on hold for now.
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I cried
Old 04-07-2020, 05:55 PM
  #28

My 60 year old husband of 37 years looked me in the eye and apologized to me. "I'm sorry you're married to a bum." He's the hardest worker, a good provider, and a great father and wonderful grandfather, but he thinks because he's furloughed during a pandemic he's a bum.

I make NO apologies for going to a store that is legally open during this pandemic and doing what is legally allowed to be done. We wore masks. We kept our distance. We used hand sanitizer every time we got in the car, and washed our hands after every trip. My husband has direction and purpose and is going to be all right now.

Entitled? Shrug. Call it that if you will. I feel blessed.
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Old 04-07-2020, 06:03 PM
  #29

Tears here Private Eyes Best wishes for your family.
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My best friend's
Old 04-07-2020, 06:52 PM
  #30

son is a resident doctor in New York. He was a student of mine, a family friend, and the best babysitter you could ask for. He is an Iraq war veteran, a graduate of West Point, and is in residency for reconstructive surgery. However, because it is "all hands on deck" in New York, he finds himself overseeing the COVID-19 ICU at a hospital in the Bronx. I disagree that "you be you" applies right now. "You be you" is contributing to people dying in our country. I'm sorry but social distancing is the only thing that is going to mitigate this pandemic. Doctors and nurses are sacrificing and DYING because of that attitude. How can you justify "you be you"?

Without life there is no mental health. I'm sorry but this is not about "you." This is about our nation and our society and everyone's survival. And if that p*sses you off, fine. But don't let your selfishness contribute to someone else's death. How would you feel if you were asymptomatic and exposed someone?
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Old 04-07-2020, 07:03 PM
  #31

letsgomets has it right. People should put their own feelings aside and think about those on the front lines. It might be legal to go someplace, but that doesn't mean it's essential.
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Old 04-07-2020, 07:09 PM
  #32

Again, thinking in extremes labels everyone. Differentiation and Grace is essential . No one is promoting going out whenever they feel like it. Faith in humanity is important.
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Old 04-07-2020, 07:09 PM
  #33

So, pretty sure I’m done here for a while.

Just to get a few things out there. I live in a small rural town, where social distancing is pretty much a given because of population. A person really doesn’t even have to try. We have had one confirmed case for my entire county. They did a drive thru testing thing a couple of weeks ago, and there were no positive cases.

The the nursery wasn’t crowded since traffic in town has slowed down. It was me and a handful of other people. I went to Walmart for a couple of flower pots, and got out.

I’d had a freaking epic meltdown over the distance learning crap and job hunt that led me to it.

Peace out, y’all.

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I think there's a difference
Old 04-07-2020, 07:25 PM
  #34

between "you be you" and "you do what's best for you." You do what's best for you would involve keeping yourself and your loved ones as safe as possible, as well as whole in spirit. It would involve following the guidelines given for social distancing. It wouldn't necessarily be conforming to what someone else thinks you should do, but rather what the medical professionals say you should do.

I feel as though some people want to do better, be the best, almost competitive in their social distancing. It's almost an "I'm social distancing more than thou" attitude. If the guidelines says six feet, well, 12 feet is even better. Maybe the DH should sleep in the garage! After all, he went out to get groceries six days ago. He could be contaminated. That would be even safer! And if you don't make your DH sleep in the garage, what's wrong with you?

I don't think anyone is advocating parties, bar-hopping, or going to the movie theater here, when they say that mental health is important. A walk for exercise, or biking is not out of the question. Working around the house is not verbotten. Social distancing does not have to holing up in one's house never to set foot outside or near the people in your own home.
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Old 04-07-2020, 07:31 PM
  #35

Supplies from Home Depot can still be bought with a curb side pick up. Safer for everyone.
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Old 04-07-2020, 07:52 PM
  #36

Quote:
Without life there is no mental health. I'm sorry but this is not about "you." This is about our nation and our society and everyone's survival. And if that p*sses you off, fine. But don't let your selfishness contribute to someone else's death. How would you feel if you were asymptomatic and exposed someone?
I'm not sure who you're addressing, but I'm happy to reply. I don't recall anyone saying "you be you." I certainly didn't. I really hate that phrase. That's right up there with, "I know, right?" *shudder* I'm also not sure who you think is pissed off. It seems like you might be, but I didn't see anything from other posters saying they were angry. I'll go back and reread later. I'm also not sure who said they were doing anything selfish.

I said do what's best for you, not even "do what you want." A person may not want to go out and possibly expose themselves or someone else to the virus, but if they live alone and are laying in bed until 3 p.m. every day because of the lack of stimulation and loneliness, they might need to get out. It would be very judgmental for someone to call that selfish. That's not my situation, but I wouldn't expect everyone to handle this situation the way I would. We are not all the same.

What else is included in doing what's best for you? I would say being a decent person is important. If you're carelessly going out, not keeping any distance from others, rarely washing your hands, going out with a cough (even if it's just a cold), you're not really being a decent person. But going out to save your sanity? Please do. Just be considerate and careful.

I think it's irresponsible to believe that we need to be socially isolated for an undetermined period of time. That's assuming public health is the only concern. Public health is a huge concern especially during a pandemic with a new virus, but we can't forget other forms of health, too, like mental health. We can't forget quality of life. I believe some people have given in to hysteria, and that is causing them to give up some civil liberties and be afraid of what other people will think, and it causes other people to feel they have to right to judge. I've recently seen people post on Facebook and other places things like, "I went out to (wherever) today, but it was essential. I promise." It's as if they feel they need to defend themselves, which is sad because that means they know there are people eager to judge them.

I'll say it again. We can't know someone else's situation, and it's not our place to judge them.

In the past, how many people here have gone out to work or the store or wherever and exposed someone else to the flu, a cold, or some other virus? Any number of us could have given a sickness to an at risk member of society, and they could have died because of it, and we would never have known. Some people might argue that this is more serious; this affects more people, but that's a pretty weak argument because that's saying it's okay to expose people to something that could be deadly for them as long as it's not a new and unknown virus. Either all life is precious, or it isn't. If we should NEVER expose someone else to something risky, people would literally NEVER leave their houses. People seem to be forgetting that life on this planet includes, and has always included, touching things other people have touched and breathing the same air other people breathe. Every time you drive your car, you are taking other people's lives into your hands. Being human means you will put yourself and others at risk every, single day. During this time with the novel coronavirus, should we be more careful? Of course. I don't think anyone has said anything to the contrary, but life cannot stop.

Each person is responsible for him/herself, but you are not responsible for someone else's actions, nor can you control them.
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Old 04-07-2020, 08:30 PM
  #37

It is entirely possible to not expose anyone to the droplets in your mouth as you go to a store to calm your anxious and racing mind. Humans have a unique need for socialization ,self worth and a sense of belonging. I trust that anyONE I see walking the sidewalks,roads,dirt paths , beaches and store aisles are doing their best to take care of themselves and their neighbors.
Groups of people and no physical distancing is of course irresponsible and must be stopped.
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Old 04-07-2020, 08:42 PM
  #38

I didn’t see the original post but I am going to put my two cents in.

Our parks are closed except for the walking path. The local path is literally less than two blocks from my house. My husband has been working from home and we will go out for a walk maybe once every other day keeping our distance. He doesn’t quite understand why I got upset but here goes.

Twice the tennis courts were completely filled with tennis players and the first time there was a toddler running around on the court.

This particular park is set up for frisbee playing so the first time we saw a group of seven young men playing frisbee.

I posted on our local Facebook page. Most people were supportive. Other people tried to tell me the frisbee players were a family. Someone else told me that the tennis court players were also a family. We know that’s all rubbish. The boys are all the same age. Who has ever seen an entirely Tennis court filled by one family playing? And that’s not the point. Everything is closed except the walking path.

I decided to take my post down. I was just getting too upset and it wasn’t worth it.

I did write the person in charge of our local park district and questioned what I had seen. He circumvented it with a bunch of writing and never answered the question. So I wrote back and I asked again and he said that for now the tennis courts were open.

I then saw information to the contrary, sent it to him in a kindly manner, and he said that the tennis courts were now closed.

How long does it take people to get rational and put things together? Those 10 people were probably in contact with other people since they probably also chose to do other activities. The same thing with the group of young men playing Frisbee. I guess I have said in a long way that they’re putting us all at risk.

I am 65, have an an auto immune disease, and also asthma. My husband does the grocery shopping once a week and the only other place we go to is the pharmacy as needed.

In closing, I also lost a skating friend of over 20 years to the virus four days ago. That’s when it really hit me hard. They have told him in February when he was in the hospital that it was just a bad sinus infection and then he tested negative for the virus. It’s really sad because he was a great guy.
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Old 04-07-2020, 08:42 PM
  #39

Thousands of people dying, caregivers exposing themselves to harm, and it's too much for people to just stay home.
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Old 04-07-2020, 09:40 PM
  #40

Isnít the phrase ďpeople have given in to hysteriaĒ judgemental in and of itself?

People are worried. For loved ones. For themselves. People are dying. EVERYONE will know someone with the virus. EVERYONE will know someone who has died.

If I have to stay inside to help plank the curve, itís the least I can do.

Grocery stores and pharmacies are essential. Hardware stores, other stores....curb side pick up and delivery should suffice.
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Old 04-07-2020, 10:34 PM
  #41

No, what I said was not meant to be judgmental. This is what I said in context.
Quote:
I believe some people have given in to hysteria, and that is causing them to give up some civil liberties and be afraid of what other people will think, and it causes other people to feel they have to right to judge.
I really do believe what I said, but I don't criticize them for it. If they are doing what they can to feel safe, good for them. I may not agree with some of the measures they are taking, but they do what they need to do in the circumstances in which they find themselves.
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Old 04-08-2020, 02:57 AM
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I'm confused
Old 04-08-2020, 06:14 AM
  #42

It's been a long time since I played tennis, so maybe someone can explain this:

As far as I recall, tennis is played by either two or four people. If two people, those people would be across the net from each other, probably 15-20 feet away from each other. If playing doubles, the two pairs spread out across the tennis court, at least ten feet or more from each other.

Of course, there might be more tennis courts than one, but each pair/doubles team would have their own court, and still be spread out from each other.

Certainly, there's never a need to be closer than six feet, is there? Or am I not remembering the rules right?

How would playing tennis be more dangerous than taking a walk?
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Old 04-08-2020, 06:58 AM
  #43

I think the point was the park was closed except for the walking paths. Park amenities, like the tennis courts and playgrounds, were supposed to be closed.

Also, tennis is a sport where you do exert yourself, unlike walking. Think of the germs that are being sprayed out from their mouths as they run around the court.

Some people are treating this like they are on vacation. Stay home.

Last edited by imatchr2; 04-08-2020 at 07:24 AM..
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