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Kids in college dorms
Old 04-07-2012, 07:23 PM
 
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A friend of mine is not happy about this and I want your opinions. Her two girls are invited to take classes in a prestigious college overseas, and her DH thinks it's fine.

Would you be ok with the idea of your two girls, 15 and 13, staying in a different country in a college dorm for 2 months? The dorm will have regular students, anywhere from 18-24 year olds. No parental supervision, except for a daily phone call from an uncle.


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Old 04-07-2012, 07:25 PM
 
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I do not have kids, but I'd have to go with 'oh hell no!'
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Old 04-07-2012, 07:26 PM
 
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Haha I'm w/ma-bethany!!
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Old 04-07-2012, 07:28 PM
 
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No I wouldnt be ok with this because teenagers need supervision and especially when they will be mixed with experienced college aged students. This is much different than going on a supervised trip abroad. My aswer woud be no.
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No
Old 04-07-2012, 07:31 PM
 
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Quote:
I'd have to go with 'oh hell no!'
Not even if they were in the United States much less over seas.


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Me either
Old 04-07-2012, 07:33 PM
 
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I might even consider otherwise for a 17 year old senior, but 13? And 15 is not much better. I would have to say no as well.
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Old 04-07-2012, 07:36 PM
 
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Not unless I went with them! That sounds strange, what is that through?
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Old 04-07-2012, 07:37 PM
 
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One wordNO
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No way
Old 04-07-2012, 07:56 PM
 
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Any legitimate program would have adult supervision for teenage girls traveling in another country. Your gut is telling you"no", isn't it?
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Old 04-07-2012, 08:14 PM
 
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I've heard too many stories of how young girls are abducted overseas (google it). Maybe I'm a little paranoid, but I would say no, no, no, no, NO! Listen to that little voice inside...that's your motherly instinct!


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Old 04-07-2012, 08:16 PM
 
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If the girls are 13 and 15 in most circumstances the school or program would have adult supervision actually in the dorm room with the children. If there is no adult supervision then it is not safe. The program would have a clear outline of expectations and plans. I would also think a 13 year old would not be ok with being away from home for two months. My niece was away for two weeks at 13 and that was hard on her. She also had a ratio of about 1 adult to 5 children.

I would agree with others if there is no set supervision.
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Old 04-07-2012, 08:44 PM
 
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No! They are too young even with adult supervision.
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Bandwagon
Old 04-07-2012, 09:04 PM
 
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Let me jump on the HELL NO bandwagon! My DD is 14 and she is a good kid for the most part... but she is still a kid. Kids do crazy things, and have to have adult supervision. Did you know that the average American girl loses her virginity over the summer between 8th and 9th grades, in her own bed while her parents are not home. This blew my mind! They just don't need any more unsupervised time than necessary, especially with college students all around.

Thankfully my DD hasn't gone there yet, but I plan on checking ebay for chastity belts

Last edited by Keep Going; 04-07-2012 at 09:05 PM.. Reason: Add
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No way! That is a disaster waiting to
Old 04-07-2012, 09:05 PM
 
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happen. If there are no designated chaperones whose job it is to keep these girls safe, then trust me, it will NOT be safe! You have no idea what goes on in dorms. Even if they are not involved, they will see and hear way too much and it will change them forever.

I would tell your friend to put her foot down (on her DH's head) and say NO NO NO NO NO NO, unless she can go with them.
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Old 04-07-2012, 09:12 PM
 
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NO! My god, no.
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No, No, No
Old 04-07-2012, 09:43 PM
 
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Yikes! I would not even consider this---NNNNOOOOOOO!!!
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Old 04-07-2012, 10:00 PM
 
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Those "your child has been selected" programs are bull. They are just trying to make money, and so many people really feel "honored" and go through with it.

Save a spot for me in the "Hell NO!" camp!
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Old 04-07-2012, 10:47 PM
 
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Absolutely NOT! I have two college kids who are very trust-worthy and totally not into drinking, but I can see by their FB what college is all about. My kids don't go crazy at some frat party -- their classes are too demanding for that -- but still I can see it's not a place for unsupervised adolescent girls.

Why on earth would this be okay?
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Old 04-07-2012, 10:58 PM
 
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Do the math.....age 13-24 w/o adult supervision......NO!!!!!!!!
Actually....HE** NO!!!! I have a 12 year old, and there is no way I woud risk her innocense (sp?).
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Old 04-08-2012, 02:01 AM
 
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Good lord, no! No, no, no!!!!

Especially not overseas. I'm gonna say it one more time: NO!
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Old 04-08-2012, 02:06 AM
 
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No way. That program sounds dicey to me. What college is going to want two young teens without supervision living there for 2 months? Especially with college age students?
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Hell no!
Old 04-08-2012, 03:38 AM
 
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Tell that father to watch the movie Taken, about 2 teen girls who go overseas unsupervised and end up being sold into sexual slavery. Liam Neeson stars in it and it's an excellent movie. Scared the crap out of me though.
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Nooooo!!!!!
Old 04-08-2012, 03:50 AM
 
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What was that about an uncle? Is he a resident of this country? Unless he is living at the college with them, don't let them go. If they need to go somewhere for the summer, send them to a Girl Scout Camp or Bible camp that's within an hour driving distance. They are too young and it's too far- too many things could happen to them.
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Old 04-08-2012, 05:07 AM
 
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Add my NO to the rest. They are way too young.
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Old 04-08-2012, 05:25 AM
 
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Another NO. Its scary enough here in the USA, but with no adult to guide them even street-wise kids that age should not be in a dorm with young adults. NO, No, NO!
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Another perspective
Old 04-08-2012, 05:37 AM
 
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I always like to try to see things in a different way. So in this case I would say NYET, NEiN, NON!
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Old 04-08-2012, 06:28 AM
 
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It's not a supervised program, so no. I'm curious, what country/school?
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Thank you thank you thank you.
Old 04-08-2012, 07:21 AM
 
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I agree with all of you. I said no as well.

The program is legit for sure. The uncle set it up for the kids to attend the classes. He lives in the country, but will not host them. The university refused to allow the underage kids to stay in the dorms, but the uncle pulled some strings to let it happen. He is a professor in the college. He will not see the kids except on weekends.
The dad thinks its fine, and is fighting with my friend. He thinks she is just trying to cause problems . The uncle is fighting with all of them. He called the girls and informed them that their mom ruined their vacation . The kids are mad at her and fighting with her.
The mom decided she will join them, but the uncle is more mad now. It is a mess. I will mail her the link to this thread. Hope she shows it to her DH.
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Good for mom! She needs to protect those
Old 04-08-2012, 08:38 AM
 
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kids, unfortunately from both strangers AND family members who don't seem to understand the danger they are putting her daughters in.
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No adult supervision?
Old 04-08-2012, 09:57 AM
 
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No way would my kid being going! Too far away.
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Noooo!
Old 04-08-2012, 09:58 AM
 
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I am so surprised that a father would go for this! I figured the thought of his girls living in a dorm with 18-year-old boys would be an absolute no. Anything could happen to these girls and they are not old enough/mature enough to handle it. Seriously, what is he thinking???

By the way, it sounds like the uncle could use a lesson in handling things in mature manner. I'm not sure he's the right "adult" to be in charge of the kids.
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Old 04-08-2012, 10:41 AM
 
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I am writing this to mom in case she reads it. Stand your ground mom because Dad and Uncle are acting like children and are not making mature adult decisions. It is unbelievable that the uncle called the kids and told them that you ruined their vacation and then is mad because you are going too! He is exhibiting immature and suggestive behavior so I would never allow my girls to visit HIM unsupervised. There is a valid reason why the university refuses to allow underage kids in the dorm and you know why. 13 and 15 year old kids should not be exposed to this and especially WITHOUT parent supervision - and the uncle does not qualify as adult supervision! Shame on your hubs for supporting this although I bet the uncle is his brother so that explains that. Be strong mom and do what is best for your girls. Whew....and I raised all boys!
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Uncle sounds scary!
Old 04-08-2012, 12:31 PM
 
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I'd keep my girls away from the uncle--he sounds like trouble! My DH woul be up in arms over the whole situations.
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Old 04-08-2012, 01:40 PM
 
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Thank you for the comments.
The dad is the uncle's brother. MIL is in it too due to complaints from the uncle.

I'll add one more issue: When the uncle found out that the mom was going, he decided not to help her find an apartment to stay with the kids. She has to go online to find something, not knowing what it could look like. The area around the university is a good one, so I don't have to worry about them though.

I hope my friend continues to check the link to see the new comments. I'll let her know.
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Old 04-08-2012, 02:51 PM
 
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One other thought: would you leave a 13 y.o. and 15 y.o. home alone with a houseful of college kids? I'm right there with HELL NO!!! And the fact that they would be out of the country makes this a double NO NO NO FLIPPIN' WAY!!!
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the more you share
Old 04-08-2012, 04:30 PM
 
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about the uncle the creepier he sounds. He won't help an adult who wants to supervise find accomodations, but he'll put young teens in a dorm? Sounds suspicious to me. Those girls could be exposed to drugs, drinking, sexual situations or worse! If the mom is reading this, PLEASE trust your instincts!!!
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Old 04-08-2012, 04:58 PM
 
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Way too YOUNG for this!
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Oh, wow
Old 04-08-2012, 05:39 PM
 
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After reading your last update, I think something is definitely up with that uncle! I would leave my husband before I'd let my children go on that trip alone. I'm not even joking.
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Okay I will say it - Uncle is some version of
Old 04-09-2012, 07:11 AM
 
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a sexual predator. Whether he will be getting his jollies just from putting the girls in a dangerous situation, perhaps where they will need "rescuing" and thus become overly dependent on him, or if he has accomplices in the dorm system, who knows? He is a creep, no doubt. Mom needs to definitely be there and supervise her children.

I know of a true situation where a friend of mine literally had her 13-year-old boy stolen from her by a "roommate" who was in cahoots with a judge. He cooked up a situation to prove that she was an unfit mom and he was actually awarded CUSTODY of her son (he was NO relation). We ended up being able to fight it and she got her boy back, but he was ALONE in the custody of this creep for 30 days, during which she was not allowed to see him. This was in the California desert and to this day, we believe that a lot of folks in authority were involved and probably doing this type of thing all the time.

So never doubt that people can have bad intentions towards your children, even if they are related and even if several people agree and are against you. This mom needs to be strong and make sure she knows where her children are EVERY MINUTE.
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Old 04-09-2012, 07:19 AM
 
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No No No!

This whole thing sounds super strange! Why would an uncle and a dad for that matter want two young teen girls to be away for two months in a dorm with 20 somethings??? Why is the uncle trying so hard to make this work? Something fishy is going on!
If the uncle really wanted the girl to participate in this amazing program he should/would offer to let them to stay at his house! The fact that he insists that they stay in the dorms is just too weird!
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