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So Tired
Old 11-24-2019, 07:29 PM
 
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So tired

Of a spotlight shined on me when I make one little mistake

Of colleagues making jokes at my expense and then when I say something, they say "We were only joking. Can't you take a joke?"

Of a colleague ranting and raving to the principal and secretary about every teacher in the school

Of being the laughingstock

Of colleagues saying "Come to the Holiday Party! It will be fun!"
Then, I muster up the courage to go and no one looks at me or talks with me (even when I muster up the courage to start conversations.)

So tired of being excluded and feeling NOT worthwhile.


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Old 11-24-2019, 07:41 PM
 
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Oh, Persephone, I get it! Before I retired, I worked with colleagues like that. I got so tired of it. I stopped going to staff parties for the same reasons. I know your plate is full at home, too. All I can say is go to work, do your job, and socialize outside of school. I was very happy to block a couple of people on FB when I retired. Thinking of you!
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Old 11-24-2019, 08:27 PM
 
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Im sorry this is happening to you. Sending a huge hug to you!
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Old 11-24-2019, 08:35 PM
 
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When they ask, Cant you take a joke? Look them dead in the eye with zero emotion, pause for a second, and then say, No. and walk away.
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Colleagues
Old 11-25-2019, 12:57 AM
 
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it sucks that you're feeling that way. I'm willing to bet there's at least a couple nice people who feel similarly. Keep an eye out for them.

Quote:
Of a colleague ranting and raving to the principal and secretary about every teacher in the school
That colleague can't be too popular!


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(((Hugs)))
Old 11-25-2019, 03:29 AM
 
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Im so sorry you are feeling this way.

Are these the same colleagues who had a surprise party for you a couple of years back to show their appreciation and gave you gift cards? If so, maybe they assume you know that you are valued?

For the party- maybe just go and show your face. If youre not comfortable in 20 minutes, just say goodbye to the hostess and go home. Or, better yet, treat yourself to something on the way home.

Sending more hugs!
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Old 11-25-2019, 06:43 AM
 
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Quote:
So tired

Of a spotlight shined on me when I make one little mistake
Ugh. This happens to me on the occasion I do something wrong. And, of course when my colleagues do four hundred bazillion things wrong, I'm still under the spotlight for the one thing I did wrong.
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Aw
Old 11-25-2019, 08:09 AM
 
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"Your jokes are hurtful to me. YOU SUCK!" Seriously, if someone has already brought you down TELL THEM

As far as the parties... there is so much social angling going on with people. If it were me I would choose a place to sit so that my back is against a wall. Enjoy some treats, spike my drink, take out my journal, and amuse myself.

Parties can be enjoyed all on your own. What I do is sometimes watch how others interact. I smile and feel joy when I see people embracing. You can draft off of good vibes.

Another thing I do at parties is look for someone sitting alone...I sit down, introduce myself, then ask a question.

Regarding this spotlight you feel. I am certain that is quite stressful. Still don't know why teachers are held to high standards. That will always perplex me.

All you can do is breathe deeply, nurture yourself by practicing positive mantras such as, My best is enough, I am focused on my students, I am an expert, This, too, shall pass. Pick one or two and make yourself recite mentally.

Another easy trick... put a rubber band on your left wrist. Snap it every now and then and especially if any negative self talk starts... replace the thought with, "no, that's not true. I am a wonderful teacher and person. The expectations of me are unrealistic and I am already doing my best." Follow with several deep breaths and force yourself to smile from the inside, for you. You can even fold your arms in front of you and give yourself a hug!

In addition, you have all your family at Proteacher. You are valued here. Hang in there!
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Hang in there!
Old 11-25-2019, 09:09 AM
 
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I know it can be tough. Stay true to yourself and enjoy your students. Its hard to be around negativity and hurtful people. Focus on your students and your talents. You will shine!
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So sorry...
Old 11-25-2019, 12:13 PM
 
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I worked in a cliquey school with a principal who acted like I was invisible. It was awful to feel marginalized like that. I also stopped eating in the Faculty Room because I felt excluded from conversations and even when I started them, the threads of talk did not continue.

Good for you for getting out of your comfort zone and attending that party. Even if it wasn't fun, you showed up. Sometimes, it is important for the sake of appearances to be part of the group. I attended mine for the same reason.

I am sorry that you are not treated well at school. I hope you have friends and family who truly care about you out of school and can enjoy good times with other good people outside of work.


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Totally Relatable!
Old 12-01-2019, 04:19 PM
 
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I get it! Add to that, my admin and "leadership" team nitpicking everything I do and treating me as though I don't have a clue what I'm doing, even though I have just as much experience as they all do.
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Sarah who took her experience and left
Old 12-05-2019, 04:28 PM
 
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Your principal sucks. Your principal knows this is going on and should NOT ALLOW this to happen. Amazing we tell the kids one thing and do exactly what we tell the kids NOT to do.My last one didn't allow staff gossip and bullying at first, but then slowly over a span of a few years the" collegiality" dissolved into cliques pitting younger teachers against older, black against white, male against female, you get it. Who lost in this silliness? The students.

You are there for the students, not to make friends. Friends are important. Make them somewhere else. You will still feel left out but in the LONG run, after 35 years you will look back fondly on the students who grew under your guidance. You won't really care what happened to the "B" down the hall.

BTW the kids will pick up on this, A LOT, that's why they come back to the honest teacher with integrity who didn't gossip, for references and to share their life experiences as they become adults. They don't return to see so and so down the hall.
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