I've been teaching 1st grade for a couple of years. Last year I had some students with emotional and behavior issues that stemmed from tough home lives, and everything I read and the advice I got from other teachers was to focus on building a healthy, trusting teacher-student relationship with them. I attempted this with good intention, but midway through the year I felt like it backfired and it seemed like I was enabling their behaviors more than anything else. This year, I have another student with a difficult home life who is often withdrawn and sits in the corner refusing to participate. Not wanting to repeat last year, I have been more firm with him. It is effective only sometimes, and I can tell he's skeptical of me being just another adult in his life who will blow him off. Again, some other staff have suggested that he is a student with whom forming a relationship is very important. How do I balance the two so that I'm neither the uncaring teacher who only demands compliance nor the warm and fuzzy teacher that students lack respect for? I want my students to feel safe and cared for, but also want to motivate them to participate.

[Mshope]

https://www.smartclassroommanagement...ging-students/

I really found Michael Linton's approach helpful. I've had very troubled students and I also found that treating them differently does not always help them. Now I try to treat them like everyone else and encourage them to be "friends" with their peers, not me. Check out the site, it helped me get this issue in perspective.