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Help! Wedding gift amount???
Old 07-16-2022, 09:45 AM
  #1

I have not been to a wedding in years! I'm in my 50s and my hubby and I got married in my parent's livingroom. Soooo....I need help. I'm going to the daughter of a good friends wedding, I do know the daughter a bit as well.
What is an appropriate gift amount?
She has an online registry where her top wish is airline fair money. What is an appropriate amount?

Thanks for the help!
Dee


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Old 07-16-2022, 09:59 AM
  #2

Always debatable here! I don't come from a "pay for your plate" area, so I'd give $100-$200 depending on your budget and your closeness to your friend, the bride's mother.
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Old 07-16-2022, 10:16 AM
  #3

I’d say $200, but I might be low since I haven’t been to a wedding in years. I just sent $200 to a college grad….seemed like a good amount even if I pulled it out of the air.
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Old 07-16-2022, 10:20 AM
  #4

Dd27 just got married in April and I know she got a few cash gifts for $100, $150, $200.
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Old 07-16-2022, 10:26 AM
  #5

What is "pay for your plate?"

Thanks!


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Old 07-16-2022, 10:32 AM
  #6

In some places I am told it is customary for the wedding gift to cover the cost of your dinner and drinks at the reception. To me that seems like selling tickets at the door. That's not the custom here, but where it is people seem to feel differently.
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Old 07-16-2022, 10:37 AM
  #7

You will get answers that range from $100-$500. A lot depends on the region, type of wedding, and what you can afford.

We usually give $200 for family and close friends because it is what we can afford.
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wedding gift amount
Old 07-16-2022, 10:46 AM
  #8

I totally agree with wildflowerz, It depends but the range between 100-500 seems about right depending on the variables (how well you know them, what you can afford, etc.)

We just sent $100 to a high school graduate that we hardly know cause that's what seemed good for us.

Have fun!
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Thanks!
Old 07-16-2022, 10:48 AM
  #9

Thanks for the replies, it really helps!

Do I need to take a card, like a congrats on your wedding type card, if I'm gifting through their wedding website? I know seems like a silly question...
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Old 07-16-2022, 12:20 PM
  #10

Tulips, not a silly question at all. I wouldnít send a card. Youíre going to the wedding and sending a monetary giftóIMO thatís perfect.


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Old 07-16-2022, 12:21 PM
  #11

I agree that the amount varies on where you live. A card might depend on the registry. They might include it but since it's a good friend's DD, I might get a card and write inside that you gifted them money via the website. I realized that Amazon doesn't include the option for a card and my niece put on FB "who sent the mixer?"

I'm in the minority with pay your plate only because my DD is getting married and they've chosen a venue that is expensive per plate but it's what they want and it'll work out financially. I certainly don't expect people to cover their dinner just because an expensive place was chosen. I want people to come and celebrate the happiness, not worry about how much the place cost. It's not a money making event. Just my 2 cents
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Old 07-16-2022, 02:29 PM
  #12

When my nephew got married, we bought them a cooking class at their destination. We did bring a card to the wedding and wrote a note about enjoying the class.
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Old 07-16-2022, 03:12 PM
  #13

Last wedding I went to was my cousin's wedding. Dh and I gave her $500.
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Wedding gifts
Old 07-16-2022, 04:05 PM
  #14

We gave $500 to our nieces and nephews.

We gave $350 to a friendís daughter. We gave a bit less because we paid for airfare and hotel rooms.

We are going to a cousinís wedding at the end of the summer and since itís a far drive, will be spending $200 on a hotel room. We will probably give them $350.

This is in NY/NJ, if that matters.
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Old 07-16-2022, 09:49 PM
  #15

Dang, I just realized Iím a cheapskate. I was gonna say $50-100. And I would have to know them pretty well to do $100.
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Old 07-17-2022, 07:48 AM
  #16

Apple Annie, I guess I am cheap, too. I think a gift for family is in a different category, and I would spend more, but Tulips said she does not know the bride well. In that case I'd say $100 is plenty depending on what fits your budget.
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Old 07-17-2022, 08:22 AM
  #17

I think 100 is fine. That is what I plan on giving to my dhís coworker in August.

I was starting to feel weird about that reading this thread, but If they donít like it, then I guess they wonít invite us to the next wedding!
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$200
Old 07-17-2022, 08:29 AM
  #18

I would do $200. I would also write a card to bring to the wedding with my congratulatory thoughts and that a gift had been given through the registry. Just in case there was a problem, I would want the couple to know I had given. Enjoy the wedding.
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Old 07-17-2022, 09:24 AM
  #19

I really do think it makes a big difference where you are and the cost of living. Many who said they give $500 are in the New York, New Jersey area where the cost of living is high and salaries might be a little higher. In some areas, many people would not be able to afford to give more than $50-$100.

I got married in the Chicago area in 2006, and I don’t think anyone gave us more Than $100 and most less. That also could be because we did not have a registry and never mentioned gifts, and because we were much older and already established. Even though it was my first marriage, I think people did not see us as young kids needing help getting started.
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Old 07-17-2022, 12:52 PM
  #20

I usually go with something off a gift registry. And if they request a monetary donation, I wouldíve said $50-$100, depending on how well you know the couple or family. Naturally, I would give more for family and close friends than acquaintances. As for paying for your plate as others mentioned, Iíve never heard of that!

Even monetary graduation gifts depend on the person. If itís for an acquaintance or son/daughter of one, $25 would be my max. For family, maybe $50-$100. All of these would be enclosed in a card.

In each case I really think itís the thought that counts and I wouldnít think it should be set up as a money making event. Donít people usually have the kind of event they can afford and just appreciate to celebrate with family and friends? While gifts are expected and appreciated, I donít think they really expect people to spend in the $100s, do they?
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