I have a parent this year who dislikes me for NO reason. We've been in school, what - 5 or 6 weeks? She refuses to come to my class area for dismissal, is constantly giving me dirty looks (which coworkers took notice of last week). Admin says she's a negative person overall and has been - but um..okay. So I'm your child's teacher. I wrote positive, personalized emails to all parents last week - she obviously didnt' respond. Had to reach out to them again regarding support in the class and asked for confirmation of receiving the email.. nothing. So wtf do you guys do with the disrespect? It is so hard to separate it out honestly - when I look at her kid, I see the parents who have been nothing but rude with their glares. I tried to kill it with kindness the first few weeks when I was genuinely confused with why I was met with glares, no smiles, nothing. How do you not take it personal? Everyday at dismissal, MY day is being ruined and I hate that. People (let alone parents like this) shouldn't have power over me this way. Just venting because I'm seriously over it and I don't know how to be any more kind because I've tried and I don't need this all year. WTF!!! How are people so unhappy in life. FOR NO EFFING REASON. (no reason to be rude to me, I mean)
I'm sorry that the parent is so negative. Truthfully though, you have to figure that it's not about you and not take it personally. You've done everything you should and if the parents don't like you for absolutely no reason....then you just shrug and figure it's on them. One of those where you just figure you can't control their behavior and just do you.
There is a reason...
The parent sees you as a representative of the school, not an individual. It is not different than people who distrust everyone in a profession for the actions of others. Presently, we have this issue with police men/women. Many are hated because of actions of others or what people heard about others.
Keep doing kind things. You won't make everyone like you. BTW, in a way, you are interacting differently with the student for nothing he did to you. There is no way you can feel emotional pain because of a transgression of the parent and not be different toward him. Your reaction to him is probably similar in emotion as that of the parent. Incidents in the parent's life is influencing her thought process when it comes to you.
A different reason might be she has an illness which impacts her ability to rationally deal with others. For all you know she may suffer from mental illness that impacts the way she views others who take her child away from her for the day.
I hope you figure out how to separate how you react to situations from the situations themselves. You can't make everyone happy. Sometimes you just have to let it go. I hope you can learn how to do so for your sake and the sake of her child.
For all the reasons msd2 put forth, and then some. Just like I tell my kids, sometimes people aren't going to like you, and it won't be any fault of yours.
You must separate the parent's behavior from the child, though. It's incredibly unfair to the child to you to hold something against them they have absolutely no control over. Besides, if this parent is that miserable, can you imagine what that child's life it like?
Be the adult, let it go, and don't let it color your view of the child.
I have a good friend who can just be that way for no direct reason. She's not happy about where her DD is living, so that can translate into not being happy with the school her DGD is attending. She is a very black-and-white thinker and doesn't cope well overall. I could see her acting that way and it would have absolutely nothing to do with the teacher. I'm glad that you recognize that she is taking up space in your head. Try to turn away when she makes you uncomfortable and just do for her what you do for everyone else. If nothing else, you know that you are doing the best for her child.
Loveslabs, that’s exactly what I would do, and in fact, have done. I see it as a challenge.
You can be nice a lot longer than she can be mean. She might think you’re crazy, but you’re making it real hard for her to keep being a you-know-what toward you.
Never let her or her daughter see you sweat. Kill the parent with kindness. Have you spoken with the child’s previous teacher? Maybe he/she can give you some insight about the mom?
I’m tired of the “customer is always right” mentality, seriously worst part of the job. Anyway yeah the last teacher decided to show up to one of the moms Mary Kay parties 🙄 in hopes of the mom at least acknowledging her. Sorry but I’m not a suck up and I don’t care that much. If she wants to be this way - it’s cool. I decided I’ll have admin present at conferences because I want as little to do with this parent as possible. I provide lots of supper for parents at home esp for math, so I reminded the kids that they can remind parents to look online - and this kid replies that her mom said she hates homework, and she won’t help because that’s your teachers job. If you don’t understand, that’s her problem. 🥴 so yeah I do a lot for the kid because I feel bad for her, it’s just a frustrating spot. I treat all my kids equal, regardless of parents FYI.
Don't sweat the small stuff and it's all small stuff motto. Be fair and nice to all of your kids like always. Take care of yourself. Some people just are not easy to get along with and are negative. Don't let them get you down. Go shopping. Buy some new shoes or clothes. Enjoy a nice walk.
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10-01-2019, 06:19 PM
