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Star-Gazer Star-Gazer is offline
 
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Are you ready? Just a Friendly reminder.
Old 11-13-2019, 05:31 PM
 
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I have decided that this is a good time to remind everyone that they need to be ready in case something happens to their spouse. I was lucky that My husband and I had prepared a notebook with all of the important information. We had also put together an envelope of all important paperwork so that I didn’t have to search for anything. I was able to sit down with the notebook and just go down the list of people to call. All of the phone numbers and account numbers were already listed. Since I was not able to think clearly, having this list ready to go was a lifesaver. I have had a lot of conversations with fellow widows over the last two years. Here is a list of things that have been mentioned as necessary after your spouses death.

Wills
Insurance policies (Make sure the beneficiaries are correct.)
Bank accounts. Make sure both peoples names are on all accounts.
Safe deposit box. Where are the keys? Both names on the box.
Marriage and divorce papers
Social Security Cards (The number may not be enough. Have the card itself.)
Birth certificates
Adoption papers
Copies of Military records
Passwords to all accounts
Pension papers. Will you be getting money, or does it stop when your spouse dies?
Both spouses names on all titles. The titles need to say “or” not just “and”
Family information (Full names, birth and death dates, each other’s parents, kids,)
Make sure you that you have an emergency fund. If your spouse is receiving Social Security or a Military pension, the last payment will be taken back and they will send a new check for the correct amount. This can take several months. Do you have enough money to live on until it gets straightened out?
A book containing the numbers of people you may need to call in an emergency. (Plumbers, roofers, etc.)

Please make sure you are ready. I have heard horror stories from widows who did not have all of the information they needed after their husband died.


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Old 11-13-2019, 05:51 PM
 
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Thank you for the reminder. I’ve been working on this, but we’ve run into a snag. My husband has two life insurance policies with the same company and we’ve tried just about everything to get beneficiary papers to change them to no avail. Does anyone know if we can use a generic form?

I didn’t know about the “or” part and will look into changing this on documents.

I need to update. I appreciate the reminder. Thank you.
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Family Trust
Old 11-13-2019, 09:28 PM
 
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Two years ago, my husband and I spent the best $5000 we could have setting up a family trust and everything else for end-of-life business. It had already taken us 3 years finding the right lawyer for our situation. This also included setting up a special needs trust for our adult daughter with special needs Along with owning property in another state. It all contributes to a complicated situation best left to a lawyer. We still have some “homework” to do, but it is such a relief to have the toughest part completed.

The whole trust is in a 4” binder, but additionally there is another binder that is our inventory of collections and other valuables.

On a related note: various passwords for important websites are always changing. How does one keep an up-to-date list, especially when you know someone else will need it??
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passwords
Old 11-13-2019, 10:05 PM
 
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Star-Gazer, this is all very useful information. Both DH and I tend to be procrastinators, and even though I already have a lot of things in place, I know I need to do more. DH frustrates me because he is the eternal optimist and doesn't think he's ever going to die.

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On a related note: various passwords for important websites are always changing. How does one keep an up-to-date list, especially when you know someone else will need it??
Thank you for bringing this up, Beach Glass. I have been wondering the same.
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Good planning
Old 11-14-2019, 04:18 AM
 
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Thank you for that list! We started doing this after I retired and got stuck on life insurance. We couldn’t find our written life insurance policy which was first started 30 years ago. A simple phone called solved that problem!


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Passwords
Old 11-14-2019, 06:11 AM
 
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I think on the passwords you will have to make a conscious effort to keep an updated list in a safe place like a safety deposit box. If you update it every 4 months, it might not have all of the correct passwords, but it should have the majority. I think there is also some app (?) that keeps track of passwords as well, but I’m not sure how that works.
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Military form
Old 11-14-2019, 05:45 PM
 
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It's the DD 214 that verifies proof of military service. It's what the funeral home uses to provide the flag for the veteran.

Thanks, Star-Gazer.
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Old 11-14-2019, 07:53 PM
 
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My son know where everything is including passwords. He would have to help DH.
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