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fahajj fahajj is offline
 
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Family relative death
Old 01-08-2010, 03:41 PM
 
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Any suggestions? Apparently one of my kids had a grandparent die last night. Their mom works at my school. When asking for the kid to not take spelling test today nothing was said other than they were at the hospital late last night. No one said anything, not the kid or parent. One of the kids said something in the line on the way back from lunch. How do I respond when I am accused of not being compassionate?


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Knowing
Old 01-08-2010, 09:10 PM
 
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I had the same thing happen recently when one of my students' mother had a stroke. I didn't even know about it for days until she just casually mentioned about her mom being in the hospital. I know the family was probably in an upheaval, but it would be nice to know what's going on in a child's life if it's something major like a death, illness, or divorce so we can be aware of how to react to any issues with the child's perception of things.
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I'm in middle
Old 01-09-2010, 08:13 AM
 
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and we have a boy who is so squirrelly and impossible to focus. We just found out two weeks ago that his mom was dying! This had been going on all year and no one at school knew! She died just a week ago. That poor baby!!!! No wonder he's had such issues! We may have been able to ease things somewhat, had we known.

At least we know now.
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Suggestion
Old 01-09-2010, 01:34 PM
 
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The next time you see the co-worker, just express your condolances to her. You might also want to ask her to keep you aprised if her child has any difficulties you might need to take under consideration (such as late night at the funeral home etc). Good luck. It's a difficult place to be at not knowing how much to respond to those walking through loss.
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Old 01-09-2010, 04:22 PM
 
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Another perspective - when I've finally stopped crying about something like this, talking about it just makes me start again. One of my students is in PICU right now and probably won't make it. We've know this was coming, and I thought I was prepared. I barely held it together enough to get through the day Thursday. Everytime I got focused on something else either someone asked me about her or I looked across my room and saw her stuff. It was a long day.

Your coworker may just not have been able to talk then. Knowing that the child was at the hospital was enough. Find your coworker AFTER school Monday - not before or during when she's trying to hold it together for the day - just tell her that you just heard about the grandparent Friday afternoon and how very sorry you are for her loss. Let her know that you'll be making a point of giving her child a little TLC when needed and encourage her to let you know if her child needs anything.


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