I’m kind of annoyed by DH tonight.

He doesn’t have much to do with his family. They hardly every text/call/visit. It’s extremely odd to me since my family is super close.

Sometimes he doesn’t care. I’ll even suggest calling and he’ll say he is okay with not talking to them since they don’t seem to want to talk to us.

Even when we see his parents, they don’t reslly interact with our kids. It’s very sad.

Anyways, lately DH is all about his family being involved. That’s fine, but I am annoyed by how he’s going about doing it. He basically said tonight that we have to see his family on a Christmas and not be with mine possibly. We always go to my parents on Christmas and to his parents whenever they say to come. It’s super random and sometimes no where near Christmas. I just let his mom decide.

I just feel a little hurt. My family bends over backwards to see us, be present in our kids’ lives, and do stuff for us. It’s good he wants to be with his family, just hurt how it came out today.

I don’t even know if he’ll sing this tune in the future, or even if his family will be able to see us on Christmas. I was just hurt.

Your feelings are your feelings, but your dh wanting to make the effort to feel closer with his family sounds like, as you stated, a positive thing. I think he may really appreciate your support in his endeavour.

I think you’re likely mostly disappointed with the thought of changing tradition, but I’d put on a brave face and try to make the best of it. Maybe do your part to make it more fun for all: bring a game like Apples to Apples or another board game to play together, bring some fun food (or make it there) to share and talk about. (Penguin olives? Strawberry Santas?) Think of opportunities for your in-laws to engage with your kids. Share recent photos of your kids in their activities; have them dust off the old old photo albums to see pics of your husband as a youngster! The kids would marvel at seeing him as a little boy.

In other words, if they don’t make much effort, then sounds like it’s up to you to make efforts and hope for a closer bond.

Just my thoughts.

[nickelbackfan]

Understand your concern. This is a hard one.

[eagles23]

Families and holidays can be a very stressful combination! I know you are feeling hurt, but sometimes turnabout is fair play. Just remember that you have been with your family for the holidays all the previous years. Even though his folks aren't as into your kids and family activities, they are still his family.

I also wouldn't stress about it yet anyway. It sounds like there really isn't a plan to be with his family in place yet, but that is just what he would like to do. Based on what you said about his family, a firm date may not be made or it may be one that is not actually on Christmas. Maybe your Christmas wish will still come true!