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Cried at school today!
Old 01-15-2010, 06:02 PM
 
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I feel so down and out right now. Today we had a staff inservice and I just felt overwhelmed about everything. I started tearing up and crying during the meeting, I could not hold it in like I usually do. I know that many of my staff members noticed and I really tried to brush it off but I am embarassed that I was not able to keep my emotions in check. The sad part was there was nothing in particular that was upsetting, it was I guess a build up of tired feelings. I am so embarassed to go back to school next week!!!!


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cried today
Old 01-15-2010, 06:14 PM
 
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I'm sorry you had such an emotional and embarrassing meeting, We all have days like that. The other staff members will forget about it before you go back to school by next week.

You aren't the first to have that happen and you won't be the last, exhaustion that teachers sometimes feel just takes over sometimes and lots of people deal with that with tears.

Have a great week end, I hope next week is better for you.
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No need to be embarrassed!
Old 01-15-2010, 06:16 PM
 
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Stress is a funny thing. It can build, and build, and build until one little hiccup happens likea sneeze and it is all over!

I think this time of year regardless of new implementations of curriculum or grade level, is tough for everyone.

I know that I had a moment much like yours but in my principal's office- and I said to him, "I just cannot handle it! It is TOO much!" I started crying and I have NEVER showed any kind of emotion to him before. Mine was set off by my kids being crazy the 2 weeks before break and then two crazy parents in one day "tattling" on me about something stupid on the same day to the principal. (One about not thinking her child received a good gift at the Christmas party purchased by another child, and the other was actually having to call and tell a parent that it isn't okay to call 2 times a day and talk for 30 minutes each time at least 3 times a week every week.)

I'm sure that absolutely EVERY educator has been there! Maybe not in front of everyone but at least in the privacy of their own home or classroom. I know an experienced teacher with 30 years experience, that always seems so withit, has opened up to me this year and told me that usually at least once a month she just gets in her car to go home and just cries all the way home.

Don't be embarrassed! If you do, then I feel that I should be too! Do something relaxing. Take deep breaths, go tanning, go for a walk.
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I don't think
Old 01-15-2010, 06:33 PM
 
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you should be embarassed. It happens to all of us. The high stress of this profession is understood by no one but another teacher. I'm kind of like that other teacher. I usually go to my room after school and really let loose, crying, cursing, and sometimes even throwing things. But I have cried in a staff meeting before too. I'm sending you BIG hugs!!!
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Emotions
Old 01-15-2010, 07:51 PM
 
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A colleague once told me that she had been asked by a parent to give her opinion about the teachers in my grade level as to which would be the best "fit" for her child. The colleague told me she had told the parent that I wear my emotions on my sleeve. At first I was taken aback by that, but then I realized my colleague was not being judgmental, just factual. I am a highly emotional person and when things start to get stressful, my body kicks in the tears. I'm convinced it is kind of like a pressure cooker valve.

I am emotional, and so everyone who works with me or is a student of mine has an excellent idea of how I feel about things. No one has to tiptoe around me because they know where they stand with me. The tears have indeed embarrassed me in the past, and there have been certain topics and situations I chose to stay away from because I knew my emotions would run rampant, but I have actually gotten over that embarrassment. My colleagues know what I'm like and nobody seems put off by that.

I have teared up in front of my principals on a few occasions. In fact, I shed tears in front of my current principal the second time we met, which was just after finding out a close family member had died. Lately I have had a serious situation in my classroom involving a student and some out of control aggression and a hostile parent, and my frustration with that situation has bubbled over several times. I didn't like doing it, but my principal told me that witnessing it showed him how passionate I am about giving my students the best.

I have teared up in front of my students--again several times lately. It shows them I am human and as an unexpected side "benefit", if you will, has brought out some wonderfully compassionate behaviors in my students. I feel a little guilty when the emotions spill over, because I don't want it to be a gimmick. They also see me ecstatic and (unfortunately this year) enraged.

So, never be embarrassed by honest emotion. We are not robots, we are human beings in a highly emotionally charged profession. We can distance ourselves from things for a time, but sooner or later something has to give. I believe that if we as teachers don't become invested in our work and our students and then deal with those emotions, we are doing everyone a disservice.

O.K. I'm down off the soap box now. Sorry if that got a bit preachy!


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Good Post
Old 01-15-2010, 08:28 PM
 
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This has been a good post. I have felt this way too. It captures why we are dealing with children.
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Old 01-16-2010, 05:40 AM
 
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I don't know your staff or how observant they usually are, but at my school, people tend to be shockingly oblivious to what's going on. They wouldn't necessarily notice that someone was teary-eyed unless it was very obvious. Once I left a meeting in which my performance had been criticized and cried in the bathroom - when I came out, still red eyed, a coworker was walking by and made some offhand remark about me looking like I had the cold that was going around school.
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I agree! Don't be
Old 01-16-2010, 02:44 PM
 
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embarrased! I have cried several times at work. The first time was the 2nd day of school...my 7th graders were being rude, disrespectful, etc. Our class is split with lunch in the middle, and when they came back after lunch, they were terrible. They came back from lunch and walked into my room very rambunctious. I took them back out in to the hall and tried having a discussion about good behavior in class. One of the teachers down the hall (who is well-known for having amazing classroom management) came in and took over for me while I went into his room and cried. It was awful.

I try to hide my feelings, but I'm pretty much an open book. I can only surpress my emotions for so long before I crack and start tearing up. Thankfully, one of the other new teachers and I have bonded so we vent to one another. There was one day when her class was being awful. I had a planning period when she walked in and asked if I could watch her class while she took half of them to the office. When she came back, I could tell she was about to break down, so I told her I'd watch her class a little longer so that she could go into my room and cry. It definitely helps to have a someone to lean on when you need it.

I hope this coming week is better for you! Get some good sleep and spend some time on YOU.
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Old 01-17-2010, 11:30 PM
 
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You shouldn't be embarrassed. In fact, I am sure most of your colleagues have felt that way at one time or another, and would totally understand how you felt. I know I've gotten a bit emotional at times when things get frustrating (and I don't show my emotions too much, either).
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