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cryptic messages
Old 01-16-2019, 07:06 PM
 
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I got a message this week from a parent- wants to talk about student being uncomfortable in the "learning environment." What does that mean????

Oh, and Cc'd the princ.

Then, I'm left hanging trying to figure out what the problem is and waiting for a meeting. You'd think that at my age these things wouldn't bother me. I find myself wondering and worrying.

Argh!


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Old 01-16-2019, 07:19 PM
 
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I hope your princ defers to you and does not respond. I would respond with "I am sorry your child is not comfortable and look forward to our meeting . Snowflake Jr. should attend this meeting."
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Thanks, Anna-
Old 01-16-2019, 07:26 PM
 
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I said something along those lines without the "student should attend" part. It's a good idea, though. I might add that we can meet and then student can join.
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To a rational person
Old 01-17-2019, 05:33 AM
 
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You didn't do anything at all wrong or out of the ordinary. I wouldn't even think about it until you hear what absurd snowflake complaint the kid dreamed up and the parents enabled. You're dealing with crazy people who are drunk with entitlement, so there's no way you can understand what they're complaining about until the directly tell you.
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Old 01-17-2019, 05:39 AM
 
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I hate cryptic messages, too. I got one early in the year and immediately gave the parent a couple of times to meet. We picked one, and the day came and went and she did not show. When I contacted her, she apologized and then said we could talk about it at conferences - still a couple weeks away. At conferences, she didn't mention a word about it.


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I wouldn't even think about it until you hear what absurd snowflake complaint the kid dreamed up and the parents enabled. You're dealing with crazy people who are drunk with entitlement, so there's no way you can understand what they're complaining about until the directly tell you.
The only part about the quoted text that makes sense is the last bit. Saying something like this is a big overreaction. You have nothing to back it up, and thinking like that is what pits teachers against parents. We need to work with them, not against them. Now, I suppose that IS possible, but nothing in the OP post really suggests that is true. I prefer to give people the benefit of the doubt until I know otherwise.


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From my experience
Old 01-17-2019, 10:07 AM
 
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Parent complaints are usually frivolous. Your experiences may be different.

Also, the complaint is so vague that thinking about it seems to me like a recipe for unnecessary anxiety. There's nothing that can be figured out based on what the parent said (judging from the OP). And clearly, the OP is worried about it if they're posting about it online. One would think if a parent had a major complaint that they would invest the time and energy to more clearly articulate their concerns.

Last edited by Surly; 01-17-2019 at 11:18 AM..
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Sorry
Old 01-17-2019, 07:01 PM
 
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Sounds like a parent is vomiting new vocabulary they learned at you because their little angel has experienced correction they aren't used to. Parents look for key words to elicit a response. Bullying is the new hotness to throw around.

Most kids don't like the learning environment, which is simply called school. If given the choice, most kids wouldn't choose to go to school. It's as simple as that. School isn't a clown show where we amaze and entertain them the whole day.

Movies about Ron Clark are all well and good, but we can't be that every day. Life is hard. Effort must be given.
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This kind
Old 01-18-2019, 06:20 AM
 
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of message from a parent would have caused anxiety for me when I was still teaching. I don’t know why parents send messages such as this one. I like Anna’s response idea that was shared with you. I hope the meeting goes well. This is easier said than done, but try not to worry!

If a parent is going to send a note or e-mail about a problem or concern, I wish they would state what it is up front. It may not be a big deal after all. The not knowing what the problem is causes the teacher worry. It is worry that is not needed in any given day in the life of a teacher.
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Snarky response
Old 01-18-2019, 06:26 AM
 
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list of student controlled options for the learning environment. The child has control over : jacket on or off, chair (can exchange with any extra chairs), ask to work in the back, front, middle, standing desk, closer to the door, away from the door, away from the vents that dump air, use a clipboard to stand and/or pace to complete their work. Student controlled is their own attitude too. That can make a huge impact on the environment too.
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Old 01-18-2019, 12:12 PM
 
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This:

Quote:
Sounds like a parent is vomiting new vocabulary they learned at you because their little angel has experienced correction they aren't used to. Parents
And it's probably not even about you! Snowflake probably doesn't like another kid in class, and dollars to doughnuts it's something you're not allowed to explain about the other kid.

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If a parent is going to send a note or e-mail about a problem or concern, I wish they would state what it is up front. It may not be a big deal after all. The not knowing what the problem is causes the teacher worry. It is worry that is not needed in any given day in the life of a teacher.
Exactly! Give me details so I can come in to the meeting already on "step 2" with some possible solutions in mind.


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Update
Old 01-18-2019, 05:58 PM
 
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Today was a doozy. I get an email from a parent telling me to make sure her girl doesn't use the bathroom at the same time as another girl because drama is happening in there. I took the authors daughter aside and asked why my time is being wasted on this. Can a parent not simply tell their kid not to go into the bathroom when the other girl is there?

Where's the parental training on coping skills that are so simple and effective? I asked her to use her problem solving skills and find a solution to this huge problem. She told me that she shouldn't go in there.

I don't need this.
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update us..inquiring minds and all that
Old 01-18-2019, 07:58 PM
 
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Singvogel, any chance of an update. I'm curious if there was: a real issue, an invented issue, a nonissue that was blown out of proportion, a "special snowflake", ect.
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Old 01-19-2019, 04:41 AM
 
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Ditto to Kinderkr4zy's post - how'd it go?
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Old 01-19-2019, 05:50 AM
 
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I've had those messages too and it's always been nothing to waste my stress time over. I think parents at time want to sound "professional" so use vocabulary that may trigger an immediate response. "Oh so XXX doesn't like sitting by …?" "Yes, my voice can be a bit loud but I'm in a huge room." "No, I'm not yelling at them, they're hearing things they don't like to hear." Etc...….

Let us know what happened (if it your meeting or phone call even happened or did parent forget/get busy, etc.)
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Update
Old 01-19-2019, 07:03 AM
 
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Well...

I go too fast...child feels they can't ask questions...child is afraid of being ridiculed for asking questions because I might say that they should know something by now.

So tempting to go into why the pacing is as it is, uncounted times per day that I invite questions, and there are some things the students should know (that's not "ridicule'), but the issue for me was the child's needs.

Parent was fine, just relayed child's feelings, acknowledged there a two sides to every story. I spent the time necessary to reframe the problem for the parent.

Focused on increasing child's accepting the "I don't know yet" of class culture, and increasing child's self-confidence, and not comparing self to peers who are quick.

(I'm sorry for the poor grammar, but the intent is to not have this situation recognized.)
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Old 01-19-2019, 08:23 AM
 
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Glad it went well and sounds like you handled it perfectly I'm wondering if this child truly has these feelings him/herself or gets the idea from home that they need to be the smartest/brightest/quickest? I've had those situations too. Parents can't accept where their child is.
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Old 01-19-2019, 02:03 PM
 
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Also been there and had a similar "issues" brought up.

I also had to point out that the pacing guide is set by the district office, not myself, and that third grade is indeed a big jump from second grade. I now front load this at back to school night and I point these things out in advance and encourage parents to be ready for it.

I also tell parents whose kids say that they cant ask for help about the numerous times a day that we do an eyes covered check for understanding so that the kids can feel comfortable letting me know that they need more help, a little more time, or reteaching when the rest of the class is doing other activities. We are teachers-we get it that they are embarrassed and try to help them out. Its not like we dont already do what we can to help them feel comfortable.

Sounds like you handled it well. Issues like these are a pill because pacing and the child's comfort with their own speed of learning aren't really under your control as a teacher.
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