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checkerjane checkerjane is offline
 
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checkerjane
 
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Condescending Principal
Old 01-29-2020, 03:25 PM
 
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So, I basically got yelled at by my principal for disagreeing with her and a misunderstanding about a totally different topic than I got yelled at. I've never in my life been talked down to and treated the way I was treated today - ever. And I've been working since I was 16 and have had a lot of different bosses over the years.

Now, I'm stressed she's going to give me a crappy reference if someone calls, and I hope to God someone calls because if y'all remember right, I've already resigned. I'd love to walk now, but I can't. I need decent insurance because I take monthly medication for an autoimmune issue, and it isn't cheap.

IDK what to do. Right now, I'm bawling my eyes out, which is not productive...at all.


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I hear you
Old 01-29-2020, 03:33 PM
 
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and have been there, felt like that. In fact I'm treading on eggshells all the time. Can't wait for the school year to be over. Hopefully she will realize she was out of line, and although she is unlikely to acknowledge that to you, it may keep her honest when writing a reference. Actually I think - I hope - that prospective employers can read between the lines of references. I can do nothing right it seems.

Hope things improve for you. Just try to keep your head down, do your job, and stay out of your Ps way as much as you can. Become a 'yes' man, and keep records of every interaction, positive or negative - just in case you need them.

Good luck!
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principal issues
Old 01-29-2020, 04:22 PM
 
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I'm sorry, really. I could have written this post. It feels horrible, but you do have an escape plan. I decided to retire, not 100% wanting to, but my principal is very unprofessional (gossips about staff with others, no filters!) and has targeted me this year.

I have my own cheering squad (the teacher colleagues I've worked with for years) so that's what's getting me to June. Do you have others who know your work and worth that can give you support? It helps me, in addition to family and friends. It's very hard to have this level of discord with something you do every day. It's a hard enough job without that added strife.

A good (bad) cry might let off some stress. Go in there tomorrow and do your very best. June is coming (I kept telling myself the same).
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Hang in there
Old 01-29-2020, 04:46 PM
 
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Sorry this happened to you! No one deserves to be talked down to. You've resigned so just count down the days. Each day is closer to the finish line. If you think she will give you a bad reference, can you get a reference from the Assistant Principal?
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Old 01-29-2020, 05:09 PM
 
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I am so sorry. One day at a time. That's all you can do. I'm glad you're moving on and getting away from her. I'm a survivor of a bully boss and you will be soon. (Is there a shirt for that? )
I suggest that you just stay as far away from her as you can. HUGS!!


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Old 01-29-2020, 05:59 PM
 
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Keep your eyes on the prize - getting the heck out of there with a decent reference. Do whatever you need to do to make that happen, even if it means apologizing (for nothing), sucking up to her, whatever it takes. Don't get into disagreements with her and just be a smiley "yes" girl from here on. I know it will be hard. but keep your eyes on the prize.
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checkerjane checkerjane is offline
 
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Old 01-29-2020, 08:35 PM
 
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Thanks for the kind words. I truly appreciate it.

I don’t understand why it’s so hard for principals to be decent people???!!! Seriously!!! Our job is hard enough, and when you have no support (and they’re a$$holes on top of it) it makes a hard situation even harder.
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Old 01-29-2020, 09:26 PM
 
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Could you cobra your insurance? If you have an autoimmune disease I am sure stress makes it worse. Or maybe take a medical leave of absence?

My principle doesn’t yell, but she is passive aggressive, manipulating, and condescending. She will give a compliment and a day later criticize the most tiny thing and talk to us like we are 2. We all hate her. When I got to work today at 8 am she had already my friend across the hall cry.
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I'm sorry
Old 01-30-2020, 07:21 AM
 
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that sucks to be on the receiving end. I had admin and co-teachers talking down to me and being really aggressive and snide after I resigned before Christmas and it sucked. As for the references, I took the honest route in my interviews.


With the job I ended up taking (and loving!) they asked why I was wanting and willing to leave mid year and I let them know what I hadn't intended to and had wanted to leave at the end of the year, but the reaction I received made me feel uncomfortable staying. I then used that to later request that they NOT contact my current principal as I felt that it would increase hostility at my current work and I didn't feel as if it would be a fair reference. I then offered them my last formal observation and asked that they consider that I lieu of a reference from my current principal, since she had been the one to fill out the observation form anyways.

So don't worry too much about the references! You can get around it if needed.
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Old 01-30-2020, 03:03 PM
 
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I have a very condescending principal too. I can't wait to get the hell away from there.


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